anyone else trying to find a different way to be Christian?

[nearlythree]

Don't quite know what I mean by that, but I'm longing for something different from what the church offers, and wondered if anyone else feels the same?

Nearlythree, have you ever looked into Quakerism? The lack of hierarchy and general atmosphere of respect for other people's beliefs might suit you.
You would need to like the idea of 'silent worship' though.

Thanks for the further replies. Kickass, I really couldn't have anything to do with the CofE right now, however laternative the service. I'd still be supporting an organisation I've come to see as self-serving and bigoted. Plus, as you say alternative worship is seen as for the young and trendy - our nearest is in Cambridge and is aimed at the students where I'd look a right twit - not to mention the fact the services happen at about 9 at night! You are so right about the rules - even worship is governed by tem - sit now, stand now, you can join in, you can't. One reason I knew I couldn't be a priest was that I couldn't swear obedience to my bishop if he told me I couldn't bless a gay union.

Mary, I know you've had a rotten experience. Many non-conventional churches are set up by nutters who find even the more fundamentalist wing of the CofE to wet! I am so glad you ahve found somewhere and something that is right for you. But you know what? So did I...like you I've always felt there was something 'missing'; at 13 I promised to give my life to God and really felt that the priesthood would be it. I threw myself into church life, and now I feel totally betrayed and disillusioned. It's like falling in love and thinking you have found the person you want to spend your life with only for them to turn out to be someone totally different. It's heartbreaking, and at a local level people I would have said were great friends have turned their backs on me; would you believe one of them is dd1's godmather and she never even so much as sends her a birthday card, and yet she lives maybe 200 yrds away - and she is a churchwarden!

Hi, sleepyjess! Nice to 'see' you!

I really agree with you, from what I know of Alpha it is quite dogmatic in what it teaches and I'd be surprised if you found any answers there! Have you read the books by Marcus Borg? You can get them on Amazon. The best one is probably 'Meeting Jesus again for the First Time'.

Got to go, ds is after food! Will post more later!

{hug} I'm not trying to convert you

Just letting you know there is a light at the end of a tunnel, and it isn't always a train

Sorry about that!

Sleepyjess, am I right in thinking you do things like mark the Solstices? That is something I'd like to do within a Christian context, if such a thing is possible!

Btw I also should let you know that we used to 'chat' a while ago. Don't know if you remember, but I'm ionesmum! (Should probably have said sooner, but feel a bit embarrassed!)

kickass, meant to say that I too feel very lonely. I live in a rural community where much of life revolves around the church. I feel excluded from my own community and it is very hard. Plus if you have a family it makes going out there and finding something that much harder.

thank you harrisey and kathy for the links, I am very keen on Celtic Christianity and have often meant to look at Ship of Fools. As for Quakerism, we live near a town that has a huge Quaker influence and have often thought about giving it a try...not sure if I could deal with the silence though!

Hi, Mary, I didn't think you were trying to convert me! It's just that you sound so happy and excited and fulfilled and I remember feeling like that, and it makes me sad.

I too think there will be a solution one day. It will be interesting to see what it is!

nearly three to answer your question.
Yes i would consider myself a fairly new Christian but not a 'born- again' as dont like the connotations of that phrase.This is about the third time in my life that I have felt Jesus trying to engage with me, the first time i was 21 and had what could only be described as 'cosmic experience'- suddenly felt part of the whole universe.Was really freaked out by it- went out got on a bus and on the seat in front someone had carved a cross.I tried several churches but none of them suited as mostly full of old people and what they were saying did not click.i was also hanging out woth people who considered it uncool to be into Jesus so squashed it back down and tried to forget about it.Similar experience when i was about 30. Third time, this time nothing quite so cosmic, just felt very euphoric after the birth of my second baby, had 'tried' about every other religion, pagan and New Age stuff, felt drawn to go to local church centre and here i am!! Well you did ask!!
realise that becoming a Christian is a challenge rather than a 'comfort' as some people seem to view it and as you say, transforms how you view other people.

was thinking of doing Alpha but lot of misgivings about Nicky Gumbel, charismatic stuff,his views on marriage, gay people etc. i am not married so that would be an interesting topic!!

hi again, could you just have a small house group thereby avoiding all pomp and circunstance stuff.I dont see why you cant celebrate solstices and seasons, after all if God created everything, you are just celebrating his creation!! i do still meet with more pagan and Quaker inclined friends and we do simple ceremonies.There is A book called 'All Year Round' which gives ideas on how to celebrate pagan and Christian festivals with your children, crafts to make, how to make a Maypole, etc.It is by a couple of Steiner teachers but dont let that put you off!!

{hug} Yes I am all of those things, but can remember what it was like to feel unwanted, and probably even lower than you are feeling. I hope you can find something that makes you happy, just try to be patient. I'll pray for you if I may.

ag2001 - I know what you mean about it being a challenge!

Hi, amazinggrace, I know exactly whatyou mean about 'born again'. it's a phrase I'd never use! Know what you mean about Alpha and Nicky Gumbel, I have huge misgivings about HTB in general as some people from there gave my old parish priest a hell of a lot of grief and he is one of the godliest men I know. Plus I get really fed up when I read in Alpha News about people 'giving up a gay lifestyle' when they become Christian, as though the two are incompatible.

Very interested to hear about your experiences of being called. I have had similar experiences. One was in relation to someone into the occult, when I was with this person I swear I could see evil. Later someone else explained to me what this person was involved in and that it was the Sprit warning me, and I felt absolutely flooded with love, it was the sweetest thing I've ever experienced, and I say that as a mum of three. I've also gone through estrangement from God, that was really hard, but I now see it as me moving away from God, I was continually being called back but I kept on moving away. This will sound really corny, but it was after Diana died that I changed my own priorities and then felt the Spirit with me again -it was as sudden as flicking on a light switch. Then when I got pg with dd1, I was really shocked as she wasn't planned and I'd started the ordination process. I couldn't really pray much, I loved my baby so much but I was so frightened that something would happen to her. Then when I was trying to pray, I got a vision of my baby in my womb, and the two of us in God's womb, being held safe in fluid, being nurtured by the umbilical cord just as my baby was inside me. (Hope this doesn't sound too odd!) It's partly why I can't be dealing with a patriarchal church any more - God can be understood to be a mother, too. I also got a sense of Jesus being with my baby, and my babay knowing he was there, and of them playing together.

All this may sound fanciful but it is real, and it came from outside me. I don't get these experiences now; I don't really have time for much of a spiritual life so maybe that's why?

So what church do you go to? Agree that being a Christian is a huge challenge in so many ways, and just when you think you've got it sussed you have to take it to a whole new level.

amazinggrace, I'd thought about housegroups, in fact I'm very drawn to that bit in Acts about the early church meeting in people's houses and breaking bread together. I can't atm because of ds being so new, I just don't have the time, plus it'd mean finding like-minded people to come along. Dd1 is just about old enough now to enjoy something simple at home, I will find that book and have a go!

Thanks for the hug and prayers, Mary. Your prayer life really makes me feel ashamed!

I've been part of a house-group where each week one member wrote a liturgy. It generally took a communion type format, but could really be anything. It would include singing and sometimes dancing - usually a couple of readings that could be from the bible or poems or anything the person writing the liturgy felt like. There was usually a discussion and also bread and wine and then a shared meal afterwards.

It was much more spiritual than I'd experienced in church. There are a couple of prayer books published by the St Hilda Community that include lots of the ideas.

Thanks, spatz, I have the Northumbria Community's books and the Community of Aidan and Hilda's books with liturgies in. How did your group get together? I also like the idea of Communion, I don't believe someone has to be a priest to consecrate the bread and wine anyway.

I was part of the St Hilda community in London (sorry, previous post not very clear), which was originally set up during the campaign for the ordination of women and employed an American Woman Priest.

After the ordination of women it continued as a house group - it's now a group of like-minded cofe types, including an ordained woman, just a few friends, really. I haven't been able to do since having DD about 5 yrs ago, but it's still going strong.

The ordained woman doesn't preside or consecrate in any way - she just happens to be a priest. It really is taken in turn and whoever wrote the liturgy presides - although that makes it sound more formal than it is. We all just pass bread and wine to each other round the group.

Sounds great, spatz. I was part of a study group wher ewe all gave each other bread and wine once, although it was consecrated by the priest present.

We had a shared meal, with communion for the confirmation group I helped lead, after they were confirmed. It was really lovely. Its the sort of thing we had at Uni, and I really miss it.

Nearlythere - don't feel in any way put off by my prayer life. I keep forgetting to help the children pray at night - how bad is that?

Hello all.

Can I just say, I understand the feelings that the phrase 'Born Again' can raise in some people, but all it really means is that we have found Jesus and God has washed us clean of sin when we accept that Jesus suffered for them so that we don't have to.

"Anyone who is in me is a new creation.. he shall be born again... all things have passed away"

I am happy to call myself born again.

(Not offended in anyway BTW, just trying to clarify!)

MaryBS -(re: non mainstream church) I am absolutely flabbergasted that someone would say that to you, let alone someone with an annointing.

The reason I like our church (Pentecostal) is that there is non of that, no hellfire and damnation, just being forgiven if you ask for it and teaching you the word and how to use it effectively.

Xavielli, you would not believe the half of it. When I told her she shouldn't judge me, as she will be judged, she said "the devil quotes the bible for his own purposes". By the time she'd finished with me, quoting bible quote after bible quote, she had me reduced to tears, sobbing my heart out. When challenged by my friend, she said "I can't help it, its what I believe". My sin? Wanting to marry a non-churchgoer.
I have to admit the pastor of that church was a lot nicer than she was. However, knowing she was like that, why was she on the welcoming committee?

LOL Nearly3, as I posted on this thread the other day I suddenly thought to myself "I wonder whatever happened to Ionesmum?" I kid you not! You were the first person I ever 'spoke' to on this section and one of the first on Mumsnet! Don't be embarassed.. I have had 30-odd name changes so that new history tab tells me! I think you also recommended Mimi Doe to me didn't you? I have a couple of her books.. and when I am being a nice person and a good mother (lol) I do many of the things in the Spiritual Parenting one.. and when I am struggling with life and ignoring all things spiritual (even though that side of things is always trying to get my attention!) I have been known to hurl the book across the room and shout 'FGS Mimi! Noone can be that perfect!"

Re Alpha.. to anyone.. there was a discussion at the beginning of the first session regarding HTB and some people's very negative views of them and of Nicky Gumboil (or whatever his name is !).. and it was decided that although we would try to keep loosely to the book.. we would not follow it in too much of a structured way.. but in order to call ourselves 'alpha' we would have to 'use' it to some degree. It would appear it's not 'loose' enough for me however...

I have wanted to do Alpha since the high profile ads first caught my attention on the sides of buses.. "Explore The Meaning Of Life" etc.. which really appealed to me. But we haven't done much exploring the meaning of life yet, as far as I am concerned. It seems to be solely about exploring the Bible. Which surely is not 'life' in its entirely! (What a crap christian I am, lol!)

nearly 3 where are? i'm in rural cambridgeshire! sounds like you may not be too far away.

I'm in rural Cambridgeshire too!!

maybe we should all gate crash the students alternative service, take our babies, ask them to turn the music down, then say, well isn't this meant to be the inclusive church? i've always wanted to do something really obnoxious like that, just to show how biased they all are (not necessarily the Camb lot, just church services in general - they all seem to think that they't 'the one' with the answers)

i'm going straight to hell for this idea, aren't i?