spirit in my house frightening my DD...

[hollowhallows]

I have NC for this.

OK, I know some people are going to think I am a crank, but here goes...

I have been aware of a spirit/s in my house since I moved in. In my family we are thought to have 'the sight' and it has been very real to me from the experiences I had growing up and experiences I continue to have. I'm not talking miracles or talking to the other side, just an ability to sense what others cannot, such as aura and spirits etc...

Because I was aware of spirits myself as a child from my own experiences, I was always aware that my children could experience the same thing. I have dealt with having 'the sight' (I don't know what else to call it, I know 'the sight' sounds cheesy) and as I have grown older it has bothered me less and I fear the things I sense a lot less. I hope this is all making sense, I usually keep this to myself

Well now my DD has started to very obviously see something that is frightening her. It is starting to become more frequent and is really upsetting her. It is always in the same place in the lounge and she runs over to me upset, crying and pointing towards whatever it is she can see. She tries to tell me but her speech isn't good enough yet, but her actions and feelings are very clear. Tonight she was so upset by whatever it was that she started crying and covering her eyes so she couldn't see it. I tried to encourage her to show me what it was that was upsetting her in case it wasn't what I thought, but she refuses to even venture to that side of the lounge when this happens. This has been going on for about 6 months but is now becoming more obvious.

I am not religious, I am not overly superstitious, but this is the one thing I genuinely believe in because I have experienced it myself. I have read stories by other MN's about their children telling them they had seen peculiar things so I'm hoping to get some input on how to handle this (and not be mocked in the process). When I sense something myself, I just ignore it. I'm not sure how to handle my DD possibly seeing things that are upsetting her.

[technodad]

I merely suggested that she should make sure there are not other causes.

My daughter once had earache (which we didn't know about) and always screamed in pain at the same time of the evening (which so happened to be the same place). We didn't know what was.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Thing is Techno it is absolutely possible to do that without attacking the OPs beliefs or starting a debate. Yet you seem to have problems with that.

So why is it that you cannot give your advice and benefit of your experience, without attacking the OP's beliefs?

[gamerchick]

So what's wrong with trying those options first? What exactly is wrong with swooshing a feather duster or something else by the mum?. mums are all powerful in littleuns eyes.

Out of interest
Have you never done the checking under the bed thing because something has scared one of your younglings? Even though you know there's nothing there.

[technodad]

Dione - I didn't attach the OPs beliefs. My first post offered some advice, and simply stated that there is no such thing as ghosts. My agruments on this thread have been about things like where people have made statements about the ghost being a previously dead child. I have at no time directed my comments to the OP.

Gamer said "Have you never done the checking under the bed thing because something has scared one of your younglings? Even though you know there's nothing there."

Urm, no, I haven't. Why would I perpetuate such nonesense. I might turn on the light and get my child to look under the bed. But why would I bother looking myself, it just confuses the child that there "might" be something there, when there definitely isn't! I have always treated my children as intelligent people, however young they are.

[VoodooHexDoll]

So if you do believe in ghost as a parent you would hand this different than if you didnt believe in ghost.

As a believer in the paranormal I would say be respectful of the spirt and claim your space. Ask aloud for the spirt to leave as its your home now and it is scaring your child. I would teach my children that spirts are former people and we should be respectful but assertive as we are to all beings. There is nothing to fear but they need to go forward and not linger here as its not healthy for them.

As a none believer in ghosts I would take my child too see gp and check for a medical reason. If there was nothing wrong with the child I would put a vase in the corner and tell the child there is nothing to cry about so stop crying!

Having faith is more than actions its a way of seeing the world around you and the connections we have with others and nature. Its the way we feel about ourself our children and our home. Faith affects our whole life and the intreactions we have with others. To dismiss the real possability that there is a spirt in the room that makes the child feel unconfortable it a bit sad.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Techno, the first thing you said to the OP (who expressed a personal belief in ghosts) was: There are no such things as ghosts.. You then went on to tell the OP not to engage with the child's fear and her own beliefs. Stating that the child will eventually grow out of it.

So your actual advice was: Tell DD there's nothing there and she will grow out of it.

Fair enough. My question is this: why did you need to diss her beliefs in order to give her advice?

[gamerchick]

Do you do santa and the tooth fairy as well or is always real life pick yourself up and stop being a baby when they hurt themselves? Not having any of that nonsense in my house type of shizzle?

[VoodooHexDoll]

Technodad you did attack her beliefs in your first post. Im also sure the OP would have taken her dd to the gp if she thought her dd was ill.

We suggested to change the room was to help her claim her space from the ghost and hopefully the ghost would see it was not welcome and its their home and make it feel better for the op and her child.

But as you dont believe or understand or want to understand than I dont think you would relise this!

[VoodooHexDoll]

I cant imagine a childhood with no magic in it

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Techno, are you even aware of your tendency to attack beliefs that you do not share?

[curlew]

Saying that you don't believe in ghosts doesn't constitute an attack on the OP's beliefs.

[curlew]

"I cant imagine a childhood with no magic in it"

Nor can I. But that doesn't mean I think you should tell children they can see dead people.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Curlew telling the OP that her beliefs are not real and to ignore them is an attack on her beliefs.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Or at best a dismissal.

[curlew]

I am assuming that the OP is no longer around- if she is, I apologize.

So are you saying, Dione, that nobody should reply to her request for help, unless they share her belief that her child is seeing spirits? And that it is helpful to suggest, based on absolutely nothing, that the child is seeing the spirit of a child?

[technodad]

I think you all need to check the dictionary for the word "attack", and then look up "overreaction".

Seriously, if anyone has attacked anyone around here...

[headinhands]

I thought the op's child was distressed so not sure how you can justify the op's beliefs in the paranormal as something beneficial to the child.

My neighbour thought she had a ghost. Apparently it was making noises in the kitchen late at night. She was obviously scared and losing sleep over it. Eventually she got the local church people round who said there was a 'presence' in the house. They blessed a bowl of water which they then sprinkled about her property. Several weeks later, after it continued she decided she'd had enough and stayed up late up in the kitchen to see what the ghost was doing. It was her FRIDGE.

I know people will say that the church people helped by making her feel safe but it obviously didn't and it only propagated her belief that it was paranormal. Wouldn't it have been better to say 'there's a logical explanation'. But they're hardly going to promote a way of thinking that would undermine their own beliefs. The thing is my neighbour grew up with parents who believe in spirits so, for her, it's the first thing she thinks off when she hears a bump in the night. Her upbringing circumvented her logic. I hope she learnt something that night.

[headinhands]

Sometimes my ds is scared about going upstairs when it's dark. I explain that it's natural to be scared of the dark because millions of years ago we used to have to be very alert at night so that we didn't get eaten by wild animals. But now we live in houses we don't need to be scared but we still are because our brains haven't caught up with how we live in 2013. I explain as his brain grows he will be able to think more logically.

Am I denying him something by that? Should I say 'don't go upstairs when it's dark because there are ghosts up there' (but somehow turning on the light renders them powerless)

[gamerchick]

See I don't believe the OP said anywhere that she's told her daughter she's seeing dead people.

[gamerchick]

That was to curlew.

And only one person mentioned a ghost child I believe.

[VoodooHexDoll]

So if there is no such things as ghost you do people get so scared of them, why does everyone know aboit them in different times and cultures and different part of the world and why is it the holy spirt and why has there been a big following of paranormal investigation, ghost walks, mediumship and the spritiual church?

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Absolutely not Curlew, in fact I summarised Techno's advice to the OP. It wasn't half bad. However, his dismissal of OP's beliefs unfortunately means that she will immediately be less inclined to take his advice on board. As her subsequent post suggests.

[headinhands]

The same reason people used to make sacrifices to Thor and Zeus. The number of people who believe something says absolutely nothing about the validity of that belief. Look how many millions of followers there are for the major religions. If you take any of their texts seriously they cannot all be true. (They can all be wrong though)


As an interesting aside, if you look at drawings of ufo's seen in the 60's they look very 60's. Whereas ufo's seen in the 00's look 'modern'.

[headinhands]

Why do we keep using the word dismissal? Only you can dismiss your own beliefs. They're not dependant on other people colluding with you are they? Someone might poke fun at me, or dismiss my views for them but they're not dismissing them for me. I still get to keep my views regardless of what anyone else says. You're not taking anything away from me if you don't agree with me.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

I'm sorry Techno, I took that sentence to be criticising (Criticise is the 2nd definition of.attack in my dictionary) the OPs beliefs. What word would you use to define your intentions when you posted?