I agree very strongly with ItalianGreyhound that one of the reasons why I love the CofE is the way that it tries to hold everything together, sometimes apparently against all odds. This can lead to what might look a bit like it washing its dirty laundry in public (e.g. in the debates around women bishops and same-sex marriages, etc.), but, in fact, I think that being able to have those debates, to acknowledge the different positions that exist within the Church, and to try to deal with and, where possible, to accommodate them, is better - if messier - than saying 'The answer is [XYZ]; live with it'. Doesn't mean that certain decisions and the slowness of (what I believe to be) necessary change don't frustrate me. But I am not the Church; the Church, as sarahtigh says is all of us... and that means also those who disagree with me. Just looking at threads on here is incredibly illustrative of the way in which we all (those of us who self-identify as Christians, I mean) approach our faith, and what it means to live with and in faith, in different - sometimes vastly different - ways. To try to hold all that together and to turn it towards God is incredibly hard - it would be much easier to say 'you're not with us' - but also, I think, incredibly valuable.
I occasionally attend a rural church round here, and it too seems to have a loyal (and reasonably large) congregation, small choir, bellringers, etc. I have been trying to think what differentiates this church from the one where I grew up, which is also rural but closer to the model that carlajean describes... basically withering. I'm not sure that I can put my finger on it, but part of it may be that there has been a lot of demographic movement in my childhood home - people have left, new people have come in, and maybe what's lacking - and what's reflected also in the church - is the sense of community. In the rural church I attend occasionally now there is, I think, a much more 'stable' community... and maybe that helps.
But then one has to ask what comes first...? Does the community create the church or can the church create the community? My experience has been the latter, in the sense that I have lived in the town where I live now for nearly 10 years, and always felt like an outside here... until I started going to church about 2.5 years ago. I realised with a jolt towards the end of last year that belonging to a church community (even though, like mummytime, it's a community attached to a cathedral, rather than a strictly 'local' one) has made me feel 'at home' in a town where I never thought I would...
Interesting!