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Philosophy/religion

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To just go to a jehovahs witness meeting?

796 replies

blobtobetter · 07/04/2012 21:05

One of the older women at work is a Jehovah's Witness. I don't really know what they are but they don't like blood or birthdays. I thought they were just another type of Christian but apparently not.

She keeps asking me to go to a meeting and I keep putting her off. Thinking now that I should just go once and then never again!?

It sounds really shallow but I wouldn't want to give up Christmas!!

Part of me wonders what it would be like. Would they be over friendly? Would they be distant as I am a heathen type? Can't imagine it really.

OP posts:
Aribura · 08/04/2012 16:13

His PFB? Grin

SparklyGothKat · 08/04/2012 16:19

I'm lisads sister. Was raised as a jw but left as a teenager. I briefly went back when I was in my early 20s. But I don't agree with any religion, so am nothing.
Last year my mum had a stroke and the day I was called into the hospital being told that things didn't look good, I had two jw's knock on the door. I asked them to pray for my mum as I knew that what she would want. They did pop back a few times over the next month but only to see how my mum was doing.

I'm not shunned by the jw's but I wasn't baptised, the only jw would would shun me would be my grandad who I can't stand anyway.
I'm separated from my kids dad, going through a divorce and pregnant by my dp, so I'm stunn-able material for sure lol.

DogEared · 08/04/2012 16:20

Interesting thread. My sister was eight years old when her friend's JW parents sat her down and told her about how she should become a JW. Hmm
I also had years of looking for something, but hated the way that in most religions, I had to believe something just because I was told/because it was written. Also a lot of pressure to commit a lot of time and energy. Thank God (hehe!) I found the Quakers...

stressedHEmum · 08/04/2012 16:26

Yes, very traditional male/female roles. Women cannot hold positions of responsibility, cannot teach if there is a baptised brother present, must be submissive to their husbands....

Jesus is the firstborn son of God, the first thing that he created and must not be worshipped in any way. He didn't even die to save mankind or to make God's grace available to us all, he died to vindicate the name of Jehovah and to pay Him back the perfect life that Adam stole from Him in Eden.

If you pursue the faith you will have to cleanse your house of unsuitable stuff. This means more than just crucifixes/idols/religious images. It also means books/music/video games that are deemed dangerous (ones with bad language, sex, drugs, violence, magic, wizardry, false religious references, stories about Christmas, Easter, different religions or beliefs, rock music, music sung by scantily glad women, hymns/patriotic music.......) also things like tarot cards, star sign stuff, the list goes on and on.

You can't take part in any holidays at all, your kids can't even make a mothers' day card or eat a bit of birthday cake at nursery. You will have to avoid things like school assembly and prize giving because there will be prayers and perhaps a hymn or two. You won't be able to attend weddings/funerals of family members who are non JW or baptisms or anything like that because they are all false worship.

You WILL have to distance yourself from all non JW family and friends and take on your JW brothers and sisters as your family. Then, if you leave, all of them WILL shun you and you will be left with no-one.

Everything Animura says is true. I will go a bit further and say that JWs believe that all the rest of us are worshipping Satan. They believe that only they have the "Truth", that you can only find this truth by reading the bible alongside Watchtower publications, because it is hidden in the scriptures. JWs are not allowed to study their bibles without these publications because the Governing Body discovered that independent bible reading led to people falling away. Anything that doesn't come from this "faithful and discreet slave" comes from Satan and is designed to lead people away from true worship into the evils of Christendom, the great whore of Babylon.

JWs don't have groups in the way that you are thinking of. They have 2 Sunday meetings, 2 Thursday meetings and a home group book study meeting, where you meet in someone's home and go through whichever Watchtower book has been prescribed for that time. There aren't women's/men's groups, mother and toddler groups, drop in cafes or anything like that. When they meet up in any numbers it's usually for the preaching work.

I've said it before and I will no doubt say it again: for all the years that I was involved current light was that women were not allowed to have their hair in a bob because Jehovah had revealed to the GB that it would make women go bald and this upset the natural order of things. The governing body also dictated how you could have sex with your spouse. Oral sex was not allowed, neither was masturbating, mutual or otherwise and anal sex was a BIG no no. The only position that was allowed, really, was missionary, everything else was kind of frowned upon. There were numerous articles in the watchtower about it. ALso people can be disfellowshipped for masturbating, if you can't give it up. I have known young people to have meetings with congregation elders about their masturbatory habits and how to break them. The youngsters are made to feel so guilty and then they worry about whether Jehovah will judge them harshly at Armageddon.

Also, no JW knows whether they will survive Armageddon or not, until it happens. This is one of the reasons that they spend time on the preaching work, to try to avoid blood guilt and to try to meet Jehovah's requirements. There is no grace or forgiveness at all.

Current JWs will come on and say that none of this is true. That I am an ex witness bearing a grudge and all that. That's not true. I bear no grudges. I am glad that I have escaped and built a life for myself. I was lucky in that I was a convert so none of my family were involved and I still had them when I left, others are not so lucky. However I still think that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and if JWs are your thing then you should pursue it. BUT, they do practise a milk before meat approach and a lot of the harsher things are not made clear until you actually join.

ClaireAll · 08/04/2012 16:27

Whiteshores,

Which is exactly what is contradictory to the real bible.

WhiteShores · 08/04/2012 16:28

SparklyGothKat Its all in the baptism. My unbaptized sister also left without being shunned.

However, my baptized mother voluntarily disassociated and was shunned by our entire family (including her parents, siblings, and my own adult siblings). This was not because they wanted to shun her, in fact it broke their hearts. It was because these are the rules of the religion (easily readable on the official site www.watchtower.org ), and breaking rules regarding shunning means you risk being disfellowshipped yourself (and also shunned).

This also happened to two other more remote family members. In my mother's case, she was completely isolated for two years, after which she could no longer take the pain and returned to the faith (which is pretty much the purpose of shunning).

As you rightly pointed out (and as I have also been saying), these rules only apply if you get baptized.

ClaireAll · 08/04/2012 16:30

Hopefully by now the OP will be run, run, running as fast as she can.

WhiteShores · 08/04/2012 16:32

ClaireAll I no longer believe JW teachings myself (although I officially remain one due to the aforementioned family shunning).

All of their teachings are based primarily on their own translation of the bible (the New World Translation).

SparklyGothKat · 08/04/2012 16:40

Whiteshores do you still go to meetings? Not sure I could have kept going not believing. I choose to leave at 16, and I'm glad that I wasnt baptised.

WhiteShores · 08/04/2012 16:43

Also, from a current point of view, the part about women's hair in a bob is not taught now (women can wear their hair however they like, although extreme styles in both men or women would be frowned upon and possibly chastised - ie. mohawks).

Aribura's list is also accurate except for the wording of a couple of points:-

Men can wear beards although they are strongly discouraged not to (in line with maintaining a modern clean/groomed appearance). They're not exactly banned so much as frowned upon.

The part about the military is absolutely true, but (as far as I know/have been taught), camoflauged clothing is just frowned upon, not exactly banned.

Other than that, the points in the list are up-to-date.

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 16:45

Aribun list is right, the bread thing is more about being presentable than not being allowed iyswim.

Certainly not had the sexual position information! And hair in a bun Hmm never heard that one.

stressedHEmum · 08/04/2012 16:46

Yes, WhiteShores, all the teachings are based on the NWT, a translation made, funnily enough, by an anonymous group of "anointed who felt that their academic qualifications as translators were unimportant because Jehovah was guiding their translation work and they didn't want to take any glory away from Him.

William Barclay said once that a group who could translate the NT in the way that JWs do was clearly intellectually dishonest.

Are you inactive, if you don't mind me asking? Is it not very hard to keep living to all the rules when you no longer believe? I found that I just couldn't keep it up, but as I say, I was lucky and still had my family.

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 16:46

And we don't do group studies in homes anymore. You are encouraged to have a family study on something that is relevant to your situation and family.

SparklyGothKat · 08/04/2012 16:48

I remember something about oral, anal sex and masturbation tho. Is that still a no-no.

stressedHEmum · 08/04/2012 16:49

Lisa it's a long time since I left, bit I promise you that the hair in a bob thing was absolutely current light. As was the sex thing. There was a series of articles in the mid 80's (I think, it's a long time ago) that even described oral sex and the mechanics of masturbation while telling us that we shouldn't be doing it. It all caused a bit of a flutter, let me tell you.

WhiteShores · 08/04/2012 16:49

SparklyGothKat Yes I still go to meetings. Believe me, there is not a day goes by when I don't ask myself whether I should just suck it up and leave, as I feel my own growth as a person has been stunted by living a life I no longer believe in.

Unfortunately, I really will lose my entire family (as my mother did temporarily), and many of them are dependent on me to varying degrees. They would also be absolutely heartbroken (as not only am I turning my back on God in their view, but would have lost my chance at eternal life).

At the moment, I simply cannot inflict that sort of pain on them for the easing of my own discomfort, although it is a constant weighing up for me.

lisad123 · 08/04/2012 16:53
Hownoobrooncoo · 08/04/2012 16:58

This has been interesting. So are they not Christians then? I Always thought the Christians based their beliefs on Jesus and were essentially trying to live the way he would have preached.

Tranquilidade · 08/04/2012 16:58

I met some JWs through work and was invited to a meeting. I went along and had a lovely evening with them, was a little uncomfortable with the emphasis placed on how to "market" your faith to others bit of the meeting but enjoyed the Bible study.

At the end of the evening they thanked me for coming, told me I was always welcome and have never pushed it since

Hownoobrooncoo · 08/04/2012 17:00

Lisad123 - does it not other you being apart of some organisation that promotes this shunning or do you accept it as part of your beliefs. Not picking on you but just curious and you have been very open and reasonable in your posts.

blobtobetter · 08/04/2012 17:02

Why do people join then if it is so bad? I mean I can understand children brought up in it not leaving or questioning but if you are an adult and not a JW wouldn't you question the rules?

OP posts:
lisad123 · 08/04/2012 17:02

We do believe in Jesus as gods son. We don't believe his is a god or part of a trinity.

MmeBucket · 08/04/2012 17:03

OP, please do research into what you are getting into when you go. I was raised a JW and left at 25. I had one family member die because of the no blood transfusion rule, and one be severely disabled for life because of it. Once you get baptized, if you decide to leave, and get disfellowshipped or not, you will be shunned. When they study with you they tend to gloss over things like disfellowshipping until you are hooked, but check out this article where they were investigated by the police for hate speech, because they refer to those who left the faith as mentally diseased

As mentioned before, nobody is trying to convert you to get to heaven, but everything there is about numbers. You can't just join and expect to show up for meetings and have that be it. To progress, you will have to go out in service and knock on doors, go to regular assemblies multiple weekends a year, and travel to district conventions. Some of them can be quite pushy, as the one is that is talking to you because everything is numbers driven (how many hours of service did you do, how many pieces of literature did you place, how many studies did you conduct, how many return visits did you make) and they need to produce records of all that every month, and if you don't have very good numbers, it isn't well looked upon. The better the numbers produced, the better your reputation in the congregation.

WhiteShores · 08/04/2012 17:03

Hownoobrooncoo JWs consider themselves Christians (the only true Christians in fact), but many mainstream Christians would say that JWs are not.

JWs do seek to emulate the life of Christ and follow his teachings, but they do so in the understanding that he is a sort of ambassador for God as his firstborn son (not an incarnation of God himself).

Hownoobrooncoo · 08/04/2012 17:05

I would think some people are a bit lost and vulnerable and a group like this might make them feel less lonely and offer some kind of security in that they seem to sure and have a strong faith - some people find this really attractive. They also might not know of all these rules when they first get involved. It does sound a bit sheep like.