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To just go to a jehovahs witness meeting?

796 replies

blobtobetter · 07/04/2012 21:05

One of the older women at work is a Jehovah's Witness. I don't really know what they are but they don't like blood or birthdays. I thought they were just another type of Christian but apparently not.

She keeps asking me to go to a meeting and I keep putting her off. Thinking now that I should just go once and then never again!?

It sounds really shallow but I wouldn't want to give up Christmas!!

Part of me wonders what it would be like. Would they be over friendly? Would they be distant as I am a heathen type? Can't imagine it really.

OP posts:
blobtobetter · 11/04/2012 17:36

Are JWs true friends with each other?

What about family though? Not like you can dump them!

I know that she said she made a choice between her partner ( I think they were engaged - not sure) and the truth. I wonder what the advice would be if your partner was really really against it.

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HerRoyalNotness · 11/04/2012 17:46

You'll always find like minded people in the congregation. I'm a bit of a weirdy and let's say I'm quite broadminded, but have found some "soul"mates who think the same way. We try to be friends with all, but you will naturally be drawn to people more than others. I've moved a few times so had to start all over in different congregations and have no problem making/keeping friends.

I also have a lot of school friends, friends that I've worked with over the years or met in different countries I've worked in that are not JW, and I keep in touch with them. They don't care what I do/don't believe. They just see me as their mate, and I them.

I have a HUGE family (12aunts/uncles, many cousins), I see them when I can (we live abroad), and enjoy their company. I have a couple of cousins that are JW and 2 aunts. It is always about balance.

Blob If you find your Bible reads easier for you, use it! You don't have to use the NWT Bible.

HerRoyalNotness · 11/04/2012 17:47

Sorry, was going to mention if partner opposed. It's up to the individual, you have to make a choice for yourself. No one can pressure you to give one up or the other. The decision is in your hands.

stressedHEmum · 11/04/2012 17:49

It used to be that you should expect your spouse to be opposed but that you should just persevere and wait on Jehovah. There are stories in old magazines where women have risked life and limb, quite literally, to pursue the truth. women whose husbands have locked them in, burned the Watchtower publications, threatened them with extreme violence and the like and women who have actually experienced violence but who kept on going. This was always much admired and held up as an example to us all.

If you aren't married and your partner is very opposed you would be expected to dump.

MmeBucket · 11/04/2012 17:50

Blob, I think you'll know that you'll get 2 different answers to the friends question on here, depending on who you talk to,so I think that is a question you will have to answer for yourself. Let me just say that when I left (and I will once again stress that I wasn't disfellowshipped, nor have I been since) that every single one of my JW friends and family stopped talking to me, and to this day, more than 10 years later, when I see one, very few of them actually even acknowledge my presence other than turning bright red and pretending not to see me.

My family has told some of my old friends my address, and every few years I get one that stops by wanting to talk religion with me, and I will invite them in, but when I make it clear that I don't want to accept a study again and have not interest in returning, they leave pretty fast and never come back.

blobtobetter · 11/04/2012 17:53

My bible is NLT and is a really simple translation probably why the NWT sounds weird. I couldn't get along with King James translations - I worry too much that I am not understanding it right to get the meaning!

I wondered how it worked. The lady I work with is travelling to different halls for the next few weeks to go to different meetings. Apparently it is quite normal to just go to different meetings in different areas. It just seems like you join up and suddenly everyone is friends with you! Didn't seem quite real.

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jjkm · 11/04/2012 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blobtobetter · 11/04/2012 19:09

"This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ."

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lisad123 · 11/04/2012 19:45

Well I didn't pm blob, she pm'ed me. I'm hiding this thread now as while I don't mind answering questions at all, there is a lot of people posting on here saying very upsetting things.
I completely understand that people are going to have their own opinions and strong ones. That is completely fine but finding that nastiness of it all isnt something I wish to debate.
I hope you find what you are looking for blob no matter where it comes from

hiddenhome · 11/04/2012 19:52

Think about it blob, all these people suddenly wanting to be your friend. Does that really sound sincere? What about the poster further up who knew someone who was rejected because she had a nervous breakdown - That's' not very Christian is it? Cult people will pretend to be your friend as long as you're 'In'. The moment you rebel, you'll be kicked out without a second glance. These people don't care about you. True friendship takes time........sometimes a long time. This is just a load of fake bullshit.

hiddenhome · 11/04/2012 19:55

warning signs of a cult

Other religions could be classed as cults. Any religion which dictates that you follow their oppressive and alienating rules and which seek to control and dominate can be a cult. It's our way or the highway kind of thinking.

Any religion which dictates that you drop your present friends, family and help network and insist that they can replace it with themselves are a cult.

blobtobetter · 11/04/2012 20:30

If it is all fake friendship what is the point? I don't understand what they gain from it. Plus if you are a JW and know that your friendship with the newcomer is fake wouldn't it worry you about your own friendships within the group?

Lisad123 - I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions!

OP posts:
jjkm · 11/04/2012 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparklyGothKat · 11/04/2012 20:50

It's not all fake, they are mostly friendly kind people. Lisad123 (my sis) is one of the kindest people you could meet, and they are nice people. You do get the ones who are so devote that they are overbearing, but most are lovely caring people.

blobtobetter · 11/04/2012 20:56

I like the idea of KJV just as I like the idea of Shakespeare. I enjoy reading that style but don't really absorb / remember anything afterwards!

We were talking about the meetings and stuff and she said it was really weird to go to work meetings and have to worry about her bag - they just leave their bags / keys out at their meetings as everyone is trusted.

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Jambuttyyummy · 11/04/2012 22:57

They are very friendly. Where ever you meet them , differents halls or different countries!

It is upsetting to me to have suggested that the friendships I am making are fake. I'm very shy and really quite difficult to get to know and these people have really taken time to get to know me where so many others have passed me off as aloof or arrogant.

And I still have plenty of contact with non- JW's. I just don't get involved in any behaviour I don't feel comfortable with.

And there are lots of people with spouses who don't believe. I'm sure it's more difficult but not impossible

Collision · 11/04/2012 23:08

hiddenhome - I think you are offending the witnesses on this thread now and you are not respecting the rights of people to believe what they wish to believe.

Jehovah's Witnesses are not a cult.

They take their beliefs from the Bible and preach as Jesus commanded them.

I am also now hiding this thread but hope that Blob enjoys her study and is able to have her questions answered.

Collision · 11/04/2012 23:10

And before I do press hide..........think how you would feel if everyone suddenly started disrespecting the Catholic church which you say you follow.

They have skeletons in the cupboard which I would not dream of talking about to someone who was professing an interest in Catholicism......................Hmm

ThreadWatcher · 12/04/2012 00:59

Reading this thread is a fascinating insight into JWs, i say that as someone who has read many books on such things for 20 years.

I know you won't see this cos you are hiding collision but I'm going to say it anyway!
Jehovahs Witnesses are members of a cult - almost all learned sources agree on that (excepting themselves) even atheists. The posts on this thread of pain and heartache experienced by ex JWs are in themselves testament to it being a cult.
If my saying that upsets a JW, I'm only partly sorry because I hope that one day you might 'see the light'
My best friend left a cult himself when he realised their bible translation was sooooo different in meaning to a 'regular' bible. If Reading a thread like this give someone the strength/realisation that they should leave JWs this thread is a good thing.

Blob please read and inwardly digest the posts on this thread, detailing heartache and inconsistencies, the families that have been torn apart. Even going to one meeting, one study, opens you up to months/years of 'issues'

My friend who escaped a cult (none of his family were members) was chased for FIVE years after he left. They even chased him as he moved to two new areas.

stressedHEmum · 12/04/2012 08:09

Lisa, Collision and any other active Jws on this thread, I know that you have hidden it because you think people are being nasty and offensive, but I'll say this anyway.

I have no intention of being nasty or offensive. I do have very strong feelings on this and I do believe that JWs are a cult for all the reasons that I gave earlier and more. BUT, I have no problem with individual witnesses. By and large, they are, like most people, kind, considerate, caring, lovely folk.

My problem lies with those at the top of the tree. They exert so much control over their members that it's like a dictatorship. They use well known mind control and psychological manipulation techniques to keep the "other sheep" bound to Jehovah's organisation. Members are so sucked in by these techniques that they really, truly believe that everything that comes from the GB, through the publications, statements etc. actually comes directly from God himself, and thus are able to gloss completely over all the mistakes, failed prophesies and changes of policy and doctrine. it's also why they can do things like shunning because their instructions come from God.

None of you will have read it because it is "apostate" and, therefore, not allowed, but the book Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz gives a good insight into the working of the WBTS and the GB. Franz was president of the WBTS and, obviously, one of the anointed. Then, he was disfellowshipped in 1980 as an apostate. He gives a clear idea of the mind control techniques used by the GB to manipulate the membership and create the extreme loyalty that is the norm among witnesses.

Could I just say, as well, that all these claims to mix with outsiders should probably be taken with a pinch of salt. Nobody can avoid unbelievers completely. We work with them, perhaps live with them, have them as neighbours, preach to them and study with them etc. But you can bet your boots, that the vast majority of JWs don't have them as good friends (unless they are conducting a fairly advanced study with them). All these things that, nowadays, are left to each individual witness's conscience... well, I'm sure that you don't need to be too cynical to work out what that means, especially as all Witnesses believe that they will have to justify themselves completely to Jehovah God at the End.

PosiePaques · 12/04/2012 09:01

I am confused, I thought Lisad123 had a seriously ill daughter...I may be wrong.... But wouldn't that mean she's having transfusions and so on?

SparklyGothKat · 12/04/2012 09:27

No her husband has cancer x

rhondajean · 12/04/2012 10:01

Just in reply to an earlier post - about five years ago the governing body were separated from the watchtower bible and tract society, they are now two separate entities, apparently so that the GB can concentrate purely on spiritual matters.

I don't think this thread has been nasty at all, there has been no personal attacks and by and large only praise for how nice individuals are. What there has been is debate backed by evidence on both sides of the validity of a belief system and it's impact upon people. I am greatly concerned yet again - the third time I have expressed this upon this particular thread - at a y belief system which does not hold itself open to scrutiny and allow, nay encourage, believers to read the criticism and refute it.

Anything which does not encourage independent thinking concerns me. Independent thinking is not reading only one source or opinion. It is considering all view points and reaching a balanced conclusion.

This is the crux of the matter - to believe demands blind faith and to question is a weakness, a sin, a flaw in the person. I firmly believe to question is the human condition, we are programmed to make sense of the world we live and seek answers.

Btw people are not allowed to be homosexual as long as they do not practice. Homosexuality is abhorrent to god and it's another personality flaw, the tendencies can be overcome by praying and studying hard enough.

Codandchops · 12/04/2012 10:01

I agree that this thread has been interesting and it has been good to hear from JW members as I know little about them.

I have a JW lady who visits and chats from time to time. I am Catholic and she knows that but I am happy that we can find common ground to talk.

I agree that the rank and file JW members are nice people (at least all the ones I have met have been). I don't agree with all their beliefs just as they do not agree with all mine but this is no reason we cannot pray together.

Am sad some JW people have had to hide this thread as I value their input and opinions as much as anyone else's here.