Visit from Mormon missionaries - any experiences?

[BodyUnknown]

I have recently been away for a hen weekend with a group of around 15 women, one of whom was Mormon. She fascinated me, and I found myself dying to know more about why she chooses to live her life the way she does. I devoured her stories about her missionary work in Utah, and as soon as I got home from the hen do, with a raging hangover, I went to bed with my laptop and logged on to mormon.org. There is a facility there to chat with a missionary (which this girl recommended that I do if I were curious about the church).

I read the website for a while before plucking up the courage to speak to someone, and when I did, I was there for over an hour asking questions which this missionary patiently answered. I came away from the conversation with a really really good feeling - I can't describe it better than that - and I haven't been able to stop thinking about everything I've read and learned and everything the missionary said. I'd told him I sometimes felt silly praying, like I was doing it wrong, and that I always felt self-conscious and that God would think me a fraud. He said, 'if I tell you how we pray, it might make you feel less silly?' and he did, and last night I prayed for the first time in years.

I lay in bed for hours last night, I couldn't sleep, I felt so excited.

Sorry this is so long...

Anyway, of course I have heard all the stories about the Mormon church, and have always thought of it as some kind of strange cult, with living prophets, miracles, tithing, baptisms for the dead and all kinds of things that I've never understood and never tried to. But the things I've read feel right to me now, I feel inspired to live my life in a better way - I literally cannot take my mind off this.

So, on mormon.org you can request that missionaries visit you and deliver the Bible and Book of Mormon. I decided to do that, and yesterday evening I had an email from missionaries wanting to confirm the visit.

I wrote back to say it was me who made the request and that I would like a visit (I suppose they get a lot of timewasters). And now I'm feeling a bit nervous - and wondering, have any of you any experience of the Mormon church? Have you spoken with missionaries, have you attended a service? Have you read any of their literature?

I'll add that I am a drinking, sometimes smoking, generally non-religious person (went to church years ago then decided God wasn't really there for me) and if you'd asked me a week ago if I'd consider reading the Book of Mormon I would have laughed my head off.

Oh and AKMD, thanks for the slanderous comments about us former members. I left because of the lies perpetrated and continued by the leadership. The common history you think you know about your faith, that all members are taught is not the truth by a long shot, but I have yet to meet a member who actually wants to learn it; they would rather remain in ignorance and continue to pray, pay and obey.

11th Article of Faith: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

Looks good to me!

WRT payments. If someone is called to a position that requires them to give up their job (yes, that is Area Presidency and above), they either take early retirement (if you look at the ages of the general authorities, that isn't a big issue) or, if they still need an income to support their family, they do get a living allowance from the Church, which stops once they are released from their calling. Most turn down the living allowance though and do everything they possibly could to not take it unless absolutely necessary. In the same way, if a 19 year-old man from, say, the Democratic Republic of the Congo wanted to serve a full-time mission, he would be expected to finance as much of it as he possibly could himself and then his Ward and the wider Church would step in to make up the difference if needed. That's equal opportunities for everyone, not just the wealthy few.

It isn't great to write to ignore the leadership hierachy and write straight to general authorities. If you have an issue, the steps are: take it up with your home teachers, take it up with your Bishop, take it up with your high councillor, take it up with your Stake Presidency and then if you still aren't satisfied it gets escalated to GA level. What's the point in writing to the prophet because so-and-so did xyz if you haven't exhausted the other options? It's the same as a situation we had while I was a Civilian Instructor in the Air Training Corps: not in my squadron but in my Wing, a cadet going on on a camp wrote to the Queen to ask for a train pass to get there. The request got passed back down the line and the cadet got into big trouble because it made everyone who ranked higher than him and lower than the Queen look ridiculous. It was funny but illustrates my point :)

Not really slander Bear if it's true. I find it incredible that ex-members spend so much time and energy trying to pull the Church down instead of getting on with their lives.

AKMD, I would find it rather astonishing if a member of a Christian congregation got told off for writing a letter to, say, the Archbishop of Canterbury (or even the Queen) rather than her local vicar. Fair enough, the Archbish may not be able to do much to address the particular concern but I cannot imagine anyone in the Anglican church would get chastised for circumventing the "leadership hierarchy". I doubt that would happen if you were RC, Jewish, Muslim or Hindu either.

After all we are talking about religions here, not military chains of command. In the armed forces subordination has to identified and dealt with because it could severely hamper the effective and immediate following of orders in times of war. But those kinds of issues are, surely, not relevant for a Church.

So why are the leaders of the LDS Church so keen to avoid being bothered by the little people congregation?

I find it incredible that mormons have so little understanding of other people and personal boundaries.

Former mormons don't need to lie about the mormon church and it's history - it speaks for itself. Mormonism doesn't practise full disclosure about anything it teaches; its former stance on black people, its current attitude toward gay people, and especially the secret temple stuff, because it is so bizarre that people would not join. I spent 30+ yrs as a mormon, with stake level and above callings, and know it inside out. Why would I not want other people to have the same information?

Allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may - so why go out and attempt to convert people to your religion?

True it's not slander - it's libel. I have found that mormon people are what is good about the church - it is the church itself that is the problem. I find it particuarly disgusting that the american part of the mormon organisation helped to fund the anti - gay marriage legislation in california, and organised the membership to do so.

I have heard all the comments you have made before, literally word for word from other mormons, almost like you have a script that you are quoting from, but hey, whatever works for you, right?

AKMD "You can find a lot of people who will say bad things about the Church. They tend either not to be members or to be ex-members who are bitter either because they did something that led to excommunication and they hold a grudge or because they had a run-in with another member and flounced. Other people have had bad experiences with bad leaders."

Some of us leave because we finally wake up and see this church for what it is - a cult.

I am so sorry I didn't get back to anyone who has written lately on this thread. I thought it had died after Jaffa's last post. Many thanks to all of you who have subsequently taken the time to post here. This thread really helped me direct my questions to the missionaries and to the bishop of my ward, who was particularly helpful and forthcoming in discussing the less-appealing aspects of the Church's history. I have little time to write now, but I do think it's rather important to remember that history is exactly what it is, and it is for certain sure that other major faiths have at least equally such unpleasant episodes in their own history.

I returned to this thread to let you all know that I was baptised into the Church yesterday. It was a beautiful day, and the baptism itself was the most perfect experience, completely overwhelming and full of love. Coming out of the water was joyful, I felt the Lord's love and I knew my sins were forgiven.

I know that the Church arouses strong feelings in ex-members and non-members alike and I appreciate that I will encounter some opposition along the way, but for me, I know in my heart that my decision was right.

Of course, you may all say 'I told you so' when I return in 10 years' time with my stories of cult activity and tithing-induced poverty ;)

Bearskin, the weekend before I met with the missionaries, I was chatting up girls in a bar in Brighton. The missionaries, bishop and mission president were totally forthright with me about the Church's stance on homosexual activity, and still welcomed me openly. Of course I would not want to make light of such a sensitive topic, and am reluctant to discuss it here, but I would say that I do believe that marriage is ordained by God for the purpose of bringing life into the world, and that it is a sacred thing between men and women. I have a seven-year gay relationship in my past, but I still believe that marriage is a special thing for men and women.

AKMD, thank you for your comments. I will PM you later on :)

Body - you do what feels best for you. I know and support many gay former mormons; some of whom had been through church-funded shock therapy to 'cure' them of their supposed aberrant behaviour/thoughts/feelings.

I believe marriage is between people who love each other, regardless of gender. Why would a loving god have made so many varieties of adult sexuality (hetero/homo/bi/trans/sapio) and then denied them so many rights/privileges?

I stand firm against their stance in dealing with gay members, and am still an active member of campaigning groups regarding their financial backing of the Prop 8 movement in California.

Just to ask - if you have had the lessons, including the spiel about chastity, why were you chatting up girls in a bar? Do you intend to follow the Word of Wisdom in its entirety?

Hi Bearskin, the weekend I was chatting up girls in a bar was the hen weekend... the weekend which started all this off, when I met the girl who had just come back from her mission, and before I started meeting with the missionaries. Now I have met with them, and am baptised, and I certainly do intend to follow the Word of Wisdom in its entirety.

With regard to non-heterosexual relationships, I suppose the point is that God allows us to make our own choices as to which path we follow and whether we choose to act on such desires. I suppose I am always going to feel an attraction towards women (not exclusively though) but I believe I can use my own agency to choose not to pursue such relationships.

I must say I felt uncomfortable with the Prop8 funding, but that was because the Church professes to take no stand on political issues and I understood Prop8 to be a political matter.

Ah there lies the difference - I firmly believe that sexuality is NOT a choice, you are born with it. Homosexuality has been observed in over 400 species of animal, but only one species is homophobic.

Prop 8 is a political matter, and the mormon church, along with other religious organisations, illegally funded the campaign (illegal under US laws for religious orgs being tax exempt). They have just lost a court case in which they attempted to keep their donors anonymous. Letters were read out during sacrament meetings, and petititions sent round during priesthood/relief society meetings from SLC HQ exhorting the membership to do their utmost to campaign and donate all their time & money.

I know what it is like to feel that love - I used to do it to investigators and new members. It made them feel so much more special, and increased the chances that they would stay an active member and pay tithing/fast offering/education fund/missionary fund.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you Body - I do hope it all works out the way that you want it to.

That would be petitions

BodyUnknown, just to say congratulations on the significant step you've taken. I still remember my baptism like it was yesterday (been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for over 18 years). I think the most important thing is to listen to the Spirit and do what feels right for you. That conviction, and your own testimony is very personal and something which is hard to explain but nobody can take it away from you. There is always opposition but stay close to the Lord and ask Him for the help you need. Don't be afraid to ask your Bishop/ other church members and leaders when you have questions. Feel free to message me if you like. All the best.

Hey Bodyunknown. Congratulations, wasn't sure if you would go through with the baptism but glad you felt good about it and decided it was the right thing for you. Enjoy the trip :o

Hey Bearskin just wondering do you keep in contact with any of the converts that you baptised while on your mission? As you probably know the baptising missionaries usually hold a very special place in the heart of converts. I know mine do and I still keep in contact through FB. Friends of mine who were baptised 25 years ago are just back from Utah where they stayed with the missionaries who introduced and also the ones that baptised them as did another couple who were baptised over 35 years ago. The love seems to last the test of time and I think is probably very genuine on the part of the missionaries and the converts. The couple who just returned from Utah met the missionary who introduced myself and dh to the church and he wanted to hear all about us and stayed chatting to them for ages.

Hi Sariah - yes I do. I served in France and am still in contact via FB with them.