Faith: can you 'fake it till you make it'?

[PogueMahone]

I'm struggling with a lack of faith. I don't believe half of what I'm meant to, I don't feel like I have a relationship with God, and I feel like a bit of a fraud. I have felt the lack of it for years now, and after deciding to 'fake it till I could make it', probably put it to the back of my mind. So I've in the meantime been doing my best to live like a Christian, and saying my prayers, going to church etc. I am excellent at 'following rules' but it feels like that's all I'm doing.

It's become obvious that this has been going on for over a decade and it isn't working.

I so want to have faith, to have a relationship with God, but I don't know how to go about it. I see other people's faith and can only shake my head in wonder.

I obviously have to try another tactic, as this isn't working for me. I can't think about trying another religion (probably for cultural reasons as much as anything else). Any ideas?

Pogue - I think every Christian deep down struggles at some time with their faith, especially some of the teachings of the Catholic Church, so please don't feel you are alone. Some wise person once said to me that faith doesn't just "happen", it starts as a seed that can either be nurtured or neglected. The more you nurture it - through reading, prayer, talking to fellow Christians etc, the stronger your faith will become. It is a long - but hopefully rewarding -process. I have found my faith is becomes stronger during hard times, as that is when we seek God the most. I nearly gave up 2 years ago when a crisis happened in my life, but thank God I chose to stick at it, and now my life is more meaningful than it ever was. Still lots of questions and doubts but I'm slowly getting there I think. Don't give up ! I'm going to read those books too !

mariamagdalena (great name btw) thanks for the recommendation, I'll get that book. Your last line abut the sacraments really struck home. I often think of Love by George Herbert. Oh, but does this mean I have to get off to confession? It's been about 2 years, I may be some time...

nickelbabe sounds like your mum was successful then! In theory my job should be easier; I just need to add a pre-school group onto the existing children's liturgy. Still not approached anyone though...

tuffie yours is a heartening story - thank you for telling me about it. I'm at a bit of a crisis point just now and I'd been avoiding dealing with this spiritual issue since I felt I already had too much to deal with. But it won't stay in the back of my mind. And who knows, it might help with the other crisis? :)

aig I'm doing well with the examen. Thanks again.

Coming to this thread rather late, but just to throw a few more thoughts into the throng. For me the biggest thing that makes a difference is concertedly putting God first and submitting to His will - so getting up to read Bible and pray even when it's the last thing I want to do, being intentional about striving for holiness and, to quote a verse that I can't place right now, not 'turning to the right or to the left' (though obviously I do...)

Talking to Him and giving the stuff of life to Him - thinking about Him and focusing on looking at His face - ie adoration, followed by confession, thanksgiving and supplication, to quote a very old formula for prayer. Have found the Lord's prayer hugely influential in my Christian walk, partly because it was the first time I really started seeing answered prayer. And really making a note of when prayer is answered - have seen some amazing things over the time I've been a Christian.

Also have found praying for more faith and that His will would be done in my life always seem to be answered.

Ooh, and reading Apologetics books - I believe pretty strongly that we might as well pack up and go home if we can't justify our faith on an intellectual level.

I think there should always be a legitimate place for doubt/questioning though. Am not trying to give pat solutions - I think whoever you are there are moments when you feel totally sure and close to God and moments when you don't at all...all of the above is just what helps me.

Thank you for all the advice shoop, especially the prayer of yours that always gets answered. I have been praying for more faith, but had not really prayed for His will to be done in my life. A bit of an oversight, really.

I'm starting to think that the real problem is that I've been aware of this lack of faith, but been so terrified of realising how flimsy it is or losing what little I have that I haven't examined it too much.

As an aside, in case anyone's interested, I'm loving this sacred space website.

Pogue, IME doubt and questioning is a really important part of the journey. Pretending that you have all the answers is meaningless and will get you nowhere. So I admire your honesty and your attempts to do what feels scary at the moment.

I don't have time to post more yet but will try to come back this thread.

So true, Speedy - That doubt/questioning stage of mine in my teens was fundamental, I believe. :)

This thread is great, it's so nice to hear everyone's tips and how others are managing to hang on to their faith and practice despite the obvious obstacles. readings on your phone is another one of mine. Now, actually remembering (or making myself) read it daily... tbc

UCB Word for Today is also well worth looking at. It gives me inspiration each day !

I find the Lord's Prayer a really good model for praying too - it was Jesus who gave it as a model, so it's on good authority!

tbh I don't ask myself what I feel about the truths of the bible/faith. Some parts don't matter to me at all eg adam and eve - i couldn't care less whether it really happened or not - probably did, probably didn't, don't care. In a lot of ways I make a decision to believe what the good book says (but only the good book!) eg Jesus died to make the bridge between us and God - and don't ask myself if I believe it or not, it's just true, whether I believe it or not! (I do as it happens).

I also believe that he is the potter, I am the clay. he will get me where he wants me to be, I am his workmanship. I can't actually do it myself - I'm not supposed to. I have been facing something extremely painful for about the last 6 months that has practically snuffed my light out (not just my faith!) and wherever I go I hear or read the scripture "Do not be dismayed at the fiery trial that has beset you". I think that is God encouraging me, as he has encouraged me many times before - I don't know what he is doing (he's the potter), I have no idea where this is going and if I indulged in it I would be very angry - though I am honest with him and do sometimes tell him how angry I am feeling about it all - as it seems so pointless. But I just keep on keeping on: I know he hasn't fallen off his throne, I also know I am not condemned, regardless what I do or don't do. It's not my job to get me there.

Sometimes when I have no idea where to go next and feel bone dry, I sing that ancient chorus "Just as I am, without one plea, but that his blood, was shed for me" - it is just a way of presenting myself, as if to say "here I am, do what you will". Sometimes I clear the decks completely and get on my knees (only because it helps me concentrate) and just hang on until I get some encouragement or direction. I pray, cry, sing, read, jsut talk to him, just make myself available. That's our side of the bargain imo: to be available, Thy will be done.

I have been to many churches where the kids run around during the service before they go off to their classes, which I much prefer to a structured stand up/sit down service. I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I had to get my kids to sit still/keep quiet - what a strain!

Sorry so long!

mariamagdalena that's great! (I love the fact that I can access so many of these resources on my phone in bed.)
Thanks tuffie - I'd never even heard of UCB before now.
springydaffs I know, I know, you're right about the Lord's Prayer - which is why I can't believe I've been missing out the "Thy will be done" bit in my own prayers... Hope things are going better for you.
I still haven't done anything about a creche for the younger kids. We had to leave church in disgrace about 20 mins in on Sunday because I was conscious the DCs were making a noise, so I need to do something soon.