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Original poster

Toddlers and church

39 replies

practicallyimperfect · 14/05/2011 21:17

I started going to church again just over a year ago, did alpha and became a Christian, as did dh. We attend a local non-denominational (although attached to Baptist church) church. They have a "crèche" at the back of the room (school hall) where you can sit and occupy them. However as ds has got older (20months it is harder to occupy him here.

He runs around a lot, and this has been fine. There are lots more toddlers now, than when we first started going.

We have now moved building, and have been moved into a side room. Ds (and other toddlers also make lots more noise now)

Basically it seems pointless going any more, as all my time is spent chasing him, keeping him in the right part of building, trying to keep him quiet.

Dh has suggested other churches, that maybe have crèches (this idea has been vetoed by our own church elders). Or do I just have to accept that church isn't possible until he is able to sit stiller and quieter?

OP posts:

Beartime · 24/05/2011 10:36

I agree that most people don't mind some interruptions :) Also you could try asking them if they could put a speaker in a hallway or a different room so you can listen to the sermon but they can still run around freely. We've had that setup in a few churches and it worked well when there wasn't a creche, it's not so stressful as you're not in the same room as everyone else!

confuddledDOTcom · 24/05/2011 11:21

Sounds like our church about a year ago! We have a lovely room with toys and sofas that parents would take their children out to. My mum and sister used to take it in turns to take my youngest as my OH was getting distracted and he's not been going long. There were so many parents in there eventually that the church decided to start a rota, they'd have done it sooner but we had a lot of changes and our pastor didn't want to do everything in one go as some people were finding it hard to cope.

We've never been made to feel though that having them in the service is a problem, even when they've been running around and making lots of noise.

Maybe it's worth using the off weeks to visit some other churches and see if someone else can cater for your whole family?

blackeyedsusan · 25/05/2011 13:23

I have the problem that there is no-one else to take a turn, just me. we are going to stay in some services whatever and tough, otherwise I will get no teaching whatsoever as I have no babysitters for housegroup etc. ds will grow out of it eventually but as i have been the one to go out with dd/ds for the last 5 years (advised not to let h look after the children unsupervised and now single mum) i am at the end of my tether and getting bolshie...

YBR · 25/05/2011 14:18

I wonder, have any of you come across a "Messy Church" and tried that? The idea is that it's aimed at families worshipping together. There are several in my area and I know that the congregations go from infants up to grandparents.

blackeyedsusan · 25/05/2011 15:20

they do messy church at our church, the teaching is not great and it is harder running round after ds... they are getting aa lot of families in though so that is good...

gingercurl · 26/05/2011 12:05

A church in our area do them, but on a Friday afternoon, when I work.

YBR · 29/05/2011 12:41

I lead worship once or twice a month, but at a number of different churches, although I've no children yet (2mmcs and now almost 10 weeks and waiting for a scan).
Some have a creche/sunday school/junior church others do not, and often you don't know who to expect. None of them seem to have a permanent answer (either they run out of helpers or it's run by the parents who still miss out on church). I find it really hard to plan a good service when children will be present - how do you engage all ages of kids without boring the adults? I can see a lot of families appreciate Messy Church, but I take your points - the teaching isn't deep, and you're still running around!

I know a lot of church families who seek out the church with the best kids' work. Disloyal? Perhaps, but I can't say I blame them. It's not going to be fun if (when?) I have to take my kids with me when I'm leading worship 'cos DH won't always be available.

gingercurl - have you looked to see if any other churches do it at a better time for you? try www.messychurch.org.uk/5270.

WillowFae · 16/06/2011 22:48

It is hard. My youngest has just turned 4 so a bit older. I take colouring and she does that, or dances to the music. However, to be honest most of the children around her age and younger just run around and nobody minds. They are only in the main service for half an hour before going off to their own groups.

But I know that churches are all different, and having them running around wouldn't necessarily be okay.

PogueMahone · 17/06/2011 00:29

Watching with interest. I have 3 DCs (4, 3 and 1) and the effort I expend in keeping them quiet means I rarely catch any of the service.
PS Good luck with your scan YBR

WillowFae · 17/06/2011 22:25

Oh yeah, it also helps that the 30 mins before the children go out is just worship so the noise they might make running around isn't so much of an issue.

WillowFae · 17/06/2011 22:38

When you say there is no creche, do you mean that there is no creche, sunday school, or anything at all during the service?

I've never been to a church like that. When I was choosing my church one of my criteria was facilities for the children. My 4 year old got a say in which one she liked. I want her (and hopefully my son but he is reluctant to come at the moment) to grow up in the church and so I wanted somewhere that would encourage and nurture that.

thejaffacakesareonme · 19/06/2011 14:07

Interesting morning in church. DS2 (age 3) was determined to run away from me during one of the prayers. I held onto his hand so he couldn't do it, which led to him shouting "NO, NO, NO" repeatedly. Oh dear!

shelscrape · 20/06/2011 01:37

Children in Church is a difficult subject to tackle. Up until 6 months ago we lived in a small English village where we had a segvie once a month, twice if we were lucky. I took DS to church from when he was a baby, but when he became a mobile noisy toddler, although the vicar was cool about him, older members of the congregation we very snooty about him. I wastold a number of times to "keep that child quiet" and I'm afraid to say it put me off going to Church. Anyway, I thought "stuff them" and went back and DS continued to be a good little lad ... well, as good as a toddler can be in church. Anyway, we've moved now to a much bigger town on the other side of the world. A bigger congregation with lots of organised children's activities and messy church which is fab - I rather like it myself. DS is now 6 and really enjoys himself ... he completely idolises the children's ministry leader.

the lead needs to come from the priest, our mad australian vicar wasvery amused by a regular 3 year old attendee who wasrunning round the altar a few weeks ago asking loudly "where's jesus, where is he?" while waving her pink flag ....

Personally, I feel a Church cannot grow unless young children are welcomed or families will be reluctant to attend.

blackeyedsusan · 23/06/2011 22:42

there is a room for creche. there used to be a rota. however there are so few children of creche age that there is no longer a rota. if you bring your child to church you sit in the room alone with your child. sunday school does not start until reception age.

a couple of people bringing the children are graandparents who do a lot of the childs day to day care. they don't always bring their grandchildren and one has said to me that she doesn't bring her 2yold dgs because she is worried that he would make a noise and not be welcome.

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