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Philosophy/religion

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Original poster

I have a question, with genuine sentiment behind it

34 replies

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 01:34

I ask this question in all honesty, without the melodrama that it implies:

What is the point?

I don't get it, I don't know why we are here, I don't know why I had children, I don't know why I exist. I don't know why it is bothering me so much at the moment.

It does sound really melodramatic but I have been thinking about these things a lot recently and can't seem to come up with any kind of answer. I don't even think there is an answer but there must be something that will placate me!

I didn't really think about it much when I was working, but now I am a SAHM it seems to be on my mind quite a lot. Is it because we have been trained to thing that work is the meaning of our existence and we are not really functioning in society unless we work? But thinking back to when I was working, there wasn't much point to that either.

Humans seem to have created an existence that is even more fragile than when we actually had to fight to survive, and this makes it even more pointless in a way.

What's your view of life?

OP posts:
spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 01:40

Rilly, you have hit upon a point.

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 01:43

Don't look too hard.

Really.

Especially as a sahm.

There is no point.

Other than repeating the obvious.

Ad infinitum.

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 01:45

But most work is, futile.

You must have realised that too.

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 01:47

I think rearing children is generally more worthy than most jobs now....

kickassangel · 20/04/2011 01:48

There's not much point in most things we do, which is why it is such a waste of effort to get upset about things.

Most of our society's jobs are pretty useless. However, the consumer society is WAY less work than a subsistence one, and comes with much longer life expectancy and better health, to say nothing of leisure time. So, for those reasons, I'm prepared to play along. I'll be nice - I don't want to upset others, but apart from that, the point is, to enjoy my life.

So, I enjoy my job (well, actually I have 2, but I like them both), and I enjoy being with dd. I don't particularly enjoy visits to various family members, but it would upset them if I never went, so I go enough to keep them happy. Which pretty much sums up my approach to most things in life.

Why 'we', humanity are here? Just an accident of evolution. I find it odd that disaster movies talk about the end of humanity as if it's the worst thing that could happen. Did the dinosaurs think like that (prob not, but ykwim). It would be interesting to see what happened if humanity died out, what would replace it. And if the world ended? Well, no-one would really care.

So, don't be nasty, cos I genuinely think that long-term that comes back to you, but try to be happy.

Here endeth the sermon for the day.

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 01:49

I don't even know why I am looking.

I suppose there doesn't even have to be a point, but as we always seem to have to justify ourselve in life then how can we justify life?

Maybe I am just fed up with doing the housework and changing nappies.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 20/04/2011 01:50

oh, and beyond biological/hormonal urges, there is not one good reason to have kids. it's just evolution being a bitch that makes you love them.

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 01:57

sorry x-post with Kickassangel.

I love my children dearly, and they do make me so happy (and so many other things as well), but I still wonder why I had them! Probably biology.

The end of humanity wouldn't really be a disaster - for a start we probably wouldn't know about it as such. We are self-important enough to think that it would be a disaster though. I am probably being self-important to do so much navel-gazing at the moment!

OP posts:
spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 01:58

kickass & Rilly

There is no point.

Really.

None.

We just do.

It's just our fannys telling us to do it.

Beyond that is just nothing.

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 01:59

And the weird thing is, I am really frightened of dying but it doesn't matter in the very grand scheme of things if I do.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 20/04/2011 01:59

so, i may as well go and buy that handbag then ...

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 02:04

Yes, I worry about the apocolyse, but really, if I die, it matters not if the mass of humanity does at the same time.

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 02:04

So buy that handbag.b It matters not.

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 02:07

Oi Kick Ass - are you my friend??

Who is kick ass angel

In RL??

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 02:30

Indeed.

OP posts:
spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 02:33

Rilly

YES

CheerfulYank · 20/04/2011 02:34

I think there is a point to it all, but I don't know what it is. :)

Pointless post, sorry.

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 02:50

if as i suspect everything is pointless, then your post is ideal CheerfulYank!

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 20/04/2011 02:58

Oooh..bit of a mystery wrapped in an enigma! :)

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 03:01

And an enigma wrapped in a frikking, shitting, thing...

Original poster
Rillyrillygoodlooking · 20/04/2011 03:25

Eh? I suspect you aren't taking this seriously, spider ;)

OP posts:
spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 03:32

Rhilly

I am

Arse & fart

southofthethames · 20/04/2011 03:33

I asked this question as a child! I guess if there was a universal answer, many major religions and the philosophers would be out of business. I think it might be a question that faith - or some philosophy you feel strongly about, eg doing charity, fighting for causes like fair trade or something - might address (mine was a mixture of both I guess).

I did get this question back as an SAHM - and i know a few other SAHMs did too. I think it's because the working mums are too busy juggling to be able to even think of answering the question, and because when you give up fulltime work to be an SAHM, you question whether wiping poo, sweeping the floor and washing dishes over and over everyday is really the highpoint of your life. The point is, if you became SAHM out of choice, you can say it was your decision and you can always change that decision, if that is what you wish to do - but that's your choice. If it is out of necessity, you can tell yourself, this financial/social situation will not the stay the same forever. Kids grow up more quickly than we realise and when they're at school full time you can go back to work.

Can't help if your previous career wasn't fulfilling, sorry, but IME most of the "fulfiling" jobs out there are poorly paid, so maybe the dull/pointless job served the function of enabling you to save a bit to have children? But it's not too late there are lots of very fulfilling jobs out there that are meaningful and make you feel needed and appreciated - ask cancer nurses, preschool teachers, physiotherapists. If that's what you want to do in life. Some don't take very long to train/retrain for.

PS Am I guessing right if I say your child/children are very young? The question comes up more when they are babies! When they're older and leave babyhood behind, you'll be too busy keeping up with "Mummy come here! Look - the sky is blue!",......"Mummy, I drew you a picture"....to worry about it - or some might say that is when you do realise that that IS the point of life :-)

spiderslegs · 20/04/2011 03:34

I am a SAHM who constantly questions her worth.

But knows it.

Fuck 'em all.

WisteriaWoman · 21/04/2011 07:57

I've asked similar questions and still haven't got any answers. I think it's v normal to be asking these type of questions now you have kids as from my experience many people get more spiritual / religious when they have children. When considering these questions I've found books on Buddhism to be rather useful. Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali or Karen Mazen Miller's books are good starting points as they're both mothers of young children. Alternatively The Godseekers Guide by Lionel Blue is interesting...as it's written for people of faith and NO faith who are just wondering about "Life".
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