Friends Upset Over Tick Situation – Are we really in the wrong?

[Dogowne91]

Hi everyone,
Would really appreciate some honest opinions on something that’s left us a bit stunned.
We just got back from a 2-week holiday and had left our dog with close friends who kindly offered to look after him. They also have two dogs, and they spent loads of time together — running around the house and their big garden, playing, sleeping near each other, out on plenty of walks, the usual.
When we picked up our dog, they told us they’d found 8 ticks in a matter of days — some on our dog and some around the house (sofa, bed, floor) which explained why they had asked if our dog was on tick prevention whilst we were away. We were honest from the beginning: he wasn’t and hasn't been for at least a couple of years. Totally our fault, just hadn’t gotten around to it. We also discovered they have treated him straight away once they discovered he wasn't up to date with it (they spoke with a vet first).
They’re clearly really upset and, honestly, we’re a bit taken aback. We obviously didn’t mean to put anyone at risk and feel bad — but also, we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.
We’re now wondering… did we seriously mess up? Should we have flagged this before leaving him with them? We never thought it would cause this kind of fallout.
Would really appreciate some honest thoughts. Is this as big a deal as they are making it seem?

As any reasonable person would! You are irresponsible dog owners and shitty friends. It would be the end of the "friendship" for me. You are CFs.

Yes. If the ticks were infected with Lyme disease and one of your friends caught it, the impact can be devastating. My husband has not been able to work since 2006 because he got Lyme. You owe them a deep apology.

Yet another OP arguing and minimising their antisocial, shitty behaviour.

Hey OP, sorry you're getting a hard time. Some people aren't ever bitten by their animal's fleas & then it's really easy to skip parasite treatment. I am fairly sure that Most people do not give their pet cats or dogs any anti-parasite meds.

Ignore the flaming here: what matters is you want to try to repair relationship with your friends. Try to think of some way to make amends & apologise profusely to let them know you realise your mistake and how much you value the relationship & want to do something to show how sorry you are. Obviously do anti-parasite treatment if you ever ask someone to receive your pet into their home again.

Does she really? She seems really blasé about the whole thing.

Ticks are horrible but tick treatment doesn’t stop ticks attaching to dogs and being brought home. They just die sooner. So they’ll likely still have ticks in their house anyway. Dogs need to be checked for ticks after walks. And I avoid certain places at certain times of year that are the worst for ticks.

Unfortunately the time of year and walking in places with a high population of deer, long grass, undergrowth etc. is likely to result in ticks. I have a dog who does not stay on the paths and we check for ticks after every walk and sometimes have taken 4-5 off her in one go, even with regular anti-tick treatment.

If they have the kind of dog who just trots along the path then they just might not have really encountered ticks much.

All responsible pet owners give parasite prevention treatment. Are you saying you don't/wouldn't?

I'll just send my unvaccinated child with whooping cough to school then - clearly that's OK! 😅

I thought this too as I complained about finding a dead tick in my house to the vet and they explained it like this!

No. No, they don't.

Responsible owners do their own reasearch and risk assess for each and every individual pet.

I once looked after a family members dog whilst they were away and this dog had fleas and kickstarted a 6 month ordeal in my home until they were all gone as it gets in the carpet etc. So yes I think you will just have to swallow their disappointment.

Its really not about the rights and wrongs of tick treatment. Its about communicating honestly and openly with your friends so they have all the information they need to make a decision on whether they want to look after your dog.

You do get that kennels etc usually insist on tick/flea treatment as part of agreeing to take your pet? You saved yourself a lot of money, they did you a huge favour and you seem to be trying to dismiss your friends as hysterical.

Hmmm, this has happened to me when looking after a friends’ dog. Tick found on dog, unfortunately one found attached to my leg - I am adept at removing them but we do live in an area where Lymes is prevalent (thankfully it was still flat) and one that had obviously been having its fill on the dog, fallen off and then got trodden on so that it burst all over my brand new (flippin expensive) rug. Let me tell you, they contain an alarming amount of blood for a tiny little thing! It is fine, it’s a hazard of dog owing and living in rural areas. However, if my friend had given the vibes of ‘what’s your problem, shit happens?’ like the OP is (and I only told her so she could watch out for more) I don’t think I’d have been quite so blasé about it.

I’d be fuming. Offer to pay for their dogs treatment and any cleaning the house needs.

What utter, unmitigated baloney.

You're 100% in the wrong because of your friend / their dogs and not treating your dogs for these things. Why wouldn't you?!

Another dog owner here - had them over 30 years mostly in rural locations. I worm but never give flea or tick treatment. I have never had even one flea on any dog I’ve had. Truth. I use a tick hook for ticks or if I see them before latched I will remove and release if we are out in the countryside, or ( sorry tick) kill it if I’m at home.

I groom and check my dogs regularly, yes I’ve missed the odd one from time to time, but point is I do check and I decided against treating.

I have had several on me over the years including in some pretty unexpected places, not nice! I used the hook on me then monitor. even if every dog in the land were treated, a tick could still find a human host. I have also never been asked for evidence of my dogs having been treated by a boarding kennels.

I think your friends are entitled to their opinion of course and up to them how they treat their dogs. However, this shock that a person might not tick or flea treat their dog has surprised me. I think that the friends probably should have checked before they accommodated your dog, as clearly it’s important to them. Not just assume. Like a kennel would ask the things that matter to them. To me, tick and flea treatments aren’t the same as your regular vaccs.

Have you ever seen the state of someone who has Lyme’s disease OP? It’s a bloody awful disease which can be fatal or have permanent consequences.

I wouldn't be outraged at ticks on my own dogs but always took proportionate care. I didn't routinely treat for fleas because they never got them but when you live in a tick and lyme hotspot, why would you not take appropriate care? I would be more than outraged if I did a favour for a friend and then found out that they didn't operate to the same standard of care that I did and as a result I had ticks in my house putting my family and my own pets at risk. My outrage would go off the chart at the "so what" reaction of the OP.

Oh, and I won't tell you I'm doubly incontinent when I come to stay, and I also won't bring any pads with me. 🤷‍♀️

If the friends live iin such a tick dense area then their lack of knowledge and awareness is on them, not the OP.

And the dogs (including their own) increase the risk of them coming into contact with ticks so they should have a responsible policy of checking their dogs and themselves for ticks after every walk.

Lyme disease is horrible but largely preventable. It is very much more prevalent in ticks where there is a deer population. Awareness is the best preventative.

OP - post on The Doghouse next time and you'll get a more balanced response.

It really isn’t, if done responsibly….which I accept the op possibly isn’t doing. Pumping your dog full of unnecessary chemicals I would say is is lazy and irresponsible. 🤷‍♀️

my dog is 11yo, never been fleaed or wormed and doesn’t have annual boosters.

she has ground up pumpkin/sunflower seeds for a natural anti worming medicine and we do worm counts….shes never had worms. She’s had two ticks in 11 years, both spotted promptly and removed with a tick tool. Shes never had fleas.

she had vaccinations until the age of 5yo and since then has a blood test which shows she’s still covered and therefore doesn’t need boosters. The annual vaccination thing is a total pet pharmaceutical/vet racket.

Thankfully my vet does an annual blood test clinic for this purpose because she’s of the same opinion that most dogs won’t need a booster.

Plenty of animals have fleas without their owner's knowledge. It's not always obvious.

If ticks are unavoidable, that should surely mean you have your dog on a treatment plan?! Incidences of transmission in Devon are 3 times higher than the national average!

I'm really surprised by the people saying they've never had fleas on their dogs. Are you checking them thoroughly? Where do you live?