Tell me the truth about puppies

[Eachpeachpears]

We are thinking of getting a puppy as I'm sure many in our position do.
We have two dc, aged 5 &3. I am a sahm so at home to train said puppy. Everyone in the house is on board (except dh is a little reluctant just re timing. Won't get one until dh is happy it's the right time).
Please tell me the truth on what to expect. We are looking at a cavalier king Charles or a cross of this breed eg a cavapoo, cava/Maltese, cavachon. The reason for this is inclusive of space (bungalow) and temperament (we have rabbits).
I'm clued up on training, been researching clicker training etc but I want to know the truth. How long are they unsettled at night for? What age can they be spayed/castrated if desired? What's the realities of getting home after a cold wet walk around the streams? Wet dog smell?
There's things I can actively research and know the answer to like insurance cover and costs but what's the monthly cost involved in those off the cuff dog toys you pick up would you say? Or how often they need a new lead or bed?!
Any help welcome.

I was very well researched and prepared for a puppy but I found it really tough in the early weeks. The puppy blues can be very real. We found crate training to a schedule enormously helpful as we had a structure to help us all get through the day. We never had any troubles through the night and it also helped us toilet train in record time!

Jesus, puppy blues almost broke me, still have a few bad days but not as many now.

All these “man made” breeds are just huge vet bills waiting to happen…suggest you do some research on that too. It’s not just the money ( don’t assume insurance will cover everything) it’s the extra time to care for them when injured, distress to you and kids, trips to vets etc. Of course that doesn’t apply to every single dog, but its a high probability

We have a 15 month old Labrador, and I’d really forgotten what the puppy months are like, as our older dog is 9.

It was hard work.

Toilet training was NOT a dream. And it was happening over the summer months when the doors were always open.

She destroyed lots of expensive / sentimental things. We thoughts we had removed everything should could possibly target, but there was always something. She has cost us a LOT.

On the flip side, we all utterly adore her, and wouldn’t be without her. She makes us all laugh every day. She’s a continual endorphin hit. Our family whatsapp chat is 90% photos of her.

This is a massive risk, though - as absolutely not everyone feels this way about their dog.

Bitey land sharks who need constant attention!

DC1 has an 9m pup, they take him to training and have done from day one, but he still gets the zoomies, over excited and is like a toddler on speed. He launched at me the other week, took my glasses off my face and charged off.

Went for lunch with friends today. Friend has a 7m puppy. Her arms were purple with bruises and covered in scratches and bites. Her pup is also in training classes. She said he has a habit of jumping up at her bum if she's walking away (at home) and most of her tops have got ripped holes in now.

We all said how bloody horrible, time consuming, sleep deprivation madness having a puppy is. But, like childbirth and babyhood, you soon forget when they've grown up and left home!

And they're worth it!

I once sobbed driving down the motorway. I’d managed to escape the puppy for an hour as a family member had come home to take over and I just needed a break.
I sat in a garden centre cafe with a tear stained face and lots of people looking over at me sympathetically. They probably thought I’d gone through some dreadful breakup or something… the reality was I had dreadful puppy blues and was seriously regretting my life choices at that moment!

I must say, I lost my DDog 3yrs ago. He used to sleep on my bed. The other night, I was woken up by him jumping up on the bed and curling in the crook of my knees. I was half asleep and said 'oh dog, is that you?!' and then came fully awake thinking 'wtf'. No doubt a lucid dream, but it was so lovely.

Wait until your kids are older our youngest was 8yrs and even she got peed off by the bitey stage and walks. If you have to take reluctant young kids out on a dog walk it isn’t fun. But our dog is 4 now and such an amazing addition the family. Expensive at times but lovely

Following as desperately want dd to have a dog, but other half says no! Can't decide if he is saving me from myself!...

Some good advice above.

Just to add do thoroughly research the health issues with caveliers. There are many, and most (all?) caveliers will die early from heart disease. A cross might be healthier, but it also might inherit health issues from both parents. Likewise look up the worst traits of both breeds in any cross you are considering and decide if you could cope with the worst of both - it's just as likely as the best of both!

Dog trust have guides on avoiding puppy farms and finding good breeders. You might get a great dog from a bad breeder, but the chances are much better with a good one!

I’m a single mum to three children. Got a puppy when youngest was 2. It was the best thing I have ever done. She’s a cockapoo. We spent one weekend in - everytime she sniffed the floor outside for a wee or poo then in for a treat and a big fuss. She got it in one weekend. She then went to the door every time.

she loves walking but equally if she misses a day she’s happy too. We have a garden not huge but she can run around. We have plenty of toys and entertainment.

the kids are obsessed with her. They cuddle her and kiss her. Every night she has to have a cuddle in their bed before they go to sleep. And my eldest loves her for afternoon cuddles.

she does need 8 weeks grooms and regular leg washes. I have again done this since we got her. And she loves it. A bath and a blow dry. A daily brush and she’s done.

people said I was mad getting her but she’s the best!

she’s only chewed 2 shoes and a few toys. But knows her toys now. Shes. 16 months. Would highly recommend her. We got her through a friend who bred her cocker spaniel. The mum was gorgeous and calm. Made it easier knowing the breeder. She’s not breeding again. Only wanted

I have a 6 year old Cockapoo (working cocker spaniel cross toy poodle) she’s an absolute dream dog! She was quick to house train, doesn’t moult, she’s tiny-only 6kg. She loves everything and everyone from bunnies to chickens and other dogs/cats/humans… Then I got a show cocker who is now 5 months old. I’m still in shock! The biting! Hairs everywhere! Mud 😬! Her huge spongy paws soak up all the rain! She’s like a tornado! We love her but she’s hard work. 😓 she stinks 😷. My 5 year old has cried many times because she’s bit her (puppy biting not aggressive) She’s chewed toys and put holes in clothes. She’s mostly house trained now (thank god!) She sleeps all night now but I was getting up at 3am to take her outside. I still go out with her in the garden to praise her when she does a wee/poo first thing otherwise she just plays/digs holes. She’s in and out all the time. I’m trying to keep my house nice but it’s a battle! I’m exhausted! I guess all dogs are different. I used to have a cavalier. He was the sweetest dog. He moulted a lot and he died aged 10 from heart failure. Make sure both parents are health tested. Good luck 😉

There's a saying, God made puppies so cute because otherwise no-one would have them. They are very, very hard work. They are absolutely worth it but you can't see that at the time.

The trouble is that if you have a puppy with young children and it does turn out to be more than you can cope with, you risk injury to your children and creating a nervous, bitey dog that can't safely be rehomed anywhere. It's not just your feelings that you need to take into account. The risks are real.

I’ve got a 17 month old cocker spaniel.

I cried every day for a good month after we got him, they are harder work than babies if you ask me. Far more restrictive, you can take a baby everywhere pretty much, you can’t do that with a puppy so you literally have to live your life around them. Now he’s at a point where he will happily stay at home for 3 hours ish on his own.

In answer to your questions, he’s been easy to train (expect recall because if he sees anything that moves his head is gone and he turns completely deaf!), took a week to toilet train him and he slept through in his crate from the first night. Didn’t even seem to realise that he was in a new place - literally walked in and made himself at home.

I don’t think I would do it with such young children as yours though.

God, the puppy blues are awful, and I had a pretty good puppy!
I would definitely wait until your youngest is older, ours had just turned 8 and that, imo, was a good age.

This is all really helpful, thank you. We are going to wait until dd is in school and go for it then. In the meantime lots of research about breeds and will browse the rescues in case one comes up who fits us (I'd rather get a rescue but am realistic about the likelihood of one who meets our family lifestyle).

We have an 8 month old cavalier who we got when he was 10 weeks old. It was very hard work at first as you basically have to be watching them all the time they are awake so you can whisk them outside at any sign of needing the loo. Took about 2 months of this before he was pretty well house trained, with very occasional accidents. He was a bit unsettled when he first arrived, cried the first two nights but soon happily went in his crate. Needed to go out for a 3am toilet break until about 4 months old (I set an alarm), has been sleeping well in his crate through the night since then.

We manage to fit the walking in because DP works from home all the time and I’m hybrid, and we make it part of the school run (taking the ‘scenic route’ back to make it longer). He gets at least 50 mins walk a day, often longer. I don’t think we could manage this if we both had office jobs. I’m v lucky because although he’s ‘my dog’ DP is happy to take his share of the load!

He is now lovely, wants lots of snuggles and would play with tug toys with me all day if he could. Recall is good off lead, but lead walking needs work as he wants a pat from every single human we pass (and tbf we walk past a lot of school children and we get a lot of pats!). Separation anxiety doesn’t seem to be an issue (but there is someone home most of the time anyway). I think we’ve been pretty lucky!

My daughter is 7 and I wouldn’t have got a dog any earlier, but that is because she has additional needs.

Consider how much exercise, training and grooming you can do. Would you prepared to regularly pay out for a dog that needed professional grooming? What breed traits could you manage and which would you like to avoid? Eg doesn’t like being left or tends to chase/herd things.
Crufts is coming up and they have Discover Dogs where you can meet examples of different breeds and chat to people who know them. Good luck!

This sums it up pretty well I think!

And avoid a trendy cute type that looks like a teddy bear. Puppy farms love first time owners.

Dpup is currently snoozing next to me as I work. You’d look at her and think she’s a complete angel and it’s a wonderful scene.

15 minutes ago I was in tears because she was tearing around the house like a maniac launching herself at me growling and barking and sinking her teeth into my legs. She ripped my best winter coat and my jeans and it bloody hurt. I’m an experienced puppy owner and have had other dogs of this breed. Every dog is different. My last dog was the same breed and was a completely different character.

don’t underestimate the puppy superglue. They love you and want to be with you all the time. It’s hard work. I would never do it with kids under 7 because they will get bitten and chewed and probably knocked over plus their stuff is likely to get damaged and kids aren’t as forgiving about that sort of thing.

it’s also really expensive. Our insurance is £36 a month. Two lots of vaccinations so far before they can go out has cost £90. Six puppy classes has been £120. Then you have food, supplements like cod liver oil, apple cider vinegar etc, treats for training, dental chews, things similar to yak chews to try to stop them destroying your stuff, leads and harnesses, collars and dog tags, a dog bag is useful for carrying poo bags, treats, collapsible water bowl etc, a dog bed or two, a barrier for your boot if you are not going to use a travel crate, toys and things like kings and licky mats, grooming tools (or £40 every few weeks at the groomers), nail clippers, cost of spaying/neutering.. and it goes on.

There's things I can actively research and know the answer to like insurance cover and costs but what's the monthly cost involved in those off the cuff dog toys you pick up would you say? Or how often they need a new lead or bed?!

Just re researching costs, there are also things that can't be prepared for and come unexpectedly. Our dog costs us around £150 per month for a special diet, medication for joint problems and his insurance. He's 6 now and we've been paying this since he was about 4 so a lot of money so far

And also things like daycare, boarding if you are going away, trainers, puppy classes etc

I absolutely agree with this. Insurance is well and good but they have an excess and a lot of things aren’t worth claiming for but are still a significant cost.

We’ve had an ear infection (that turned out to be allergies), cost us £80. Last week had a sprained tail - had to be checked by the vet at £66.

Above mentioned allergies means that he has to have a special good at £50 a month. Can’t have chicken or grain so can’t have run of the mill treats, anything grain and chicken free are £3 a bag of small treats, plus natural chews etc, spend about £30 a month of these.

Other costs I can think of off the top of my head -

Flea and worm treatments - £13 a month (pets at home, includes weight checks, nail trims etc)
Field hire whilst practising recall - £10 an hour
Training classes - £8 a week
Toys - £10 a month (he’s a destroyer)

Watch "Twelve Puppies and Us" on bbc iplayer, it really gives a good insight in getting a puppy... and is hilarious and cute at the same time. I've had couple of dogs and looking for a you adult dog now, not a puppy though they are lovely but a lot of work...and I'm getting old but miss having a dog