Debate:- should parents of premature babies get additional maternity leave.

[EveOnline2016]

www.change.org/p/extend-maternity-leave-for-mothers-of-premature-babies?recruiter=57510919&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink

Had this emailed to me today.

I need help deciding whether to sign or not.

My reason for is that the parents will get the time to bond and get to know baby away from the hospital environment.

My reason for against is where would the cut off be.

If maternity leave had been extended I could have had that extra time to settle him in at home etc
I can understand that it was obvious really hard for you to make the decision to quit your job and some people in your situation may feel that due to financial concerns they can't quit their job.

However there are two sides to the argument and as awful as the whole situation was for you, legislating to allow extended maternity leave in cases like yours would be problematic.

Firstly because of where do you draw the line and secondly because it would make it even more likely for businesses to start discriminating against young women.

How about an extra 4 weeks of SMP if your child's birth certificate shows that they were born at or before 33 weeks?

Easy enough to administer as the employer will already have the MATB1 confirming the due date.

I think it would be a sensible, humane and compassionate measure.

I've spent over a third of my whole maternity leave sat next to incubators/bassinets in 2 different hospitals.

I have less than 6 months of paid leave left before I have to go back to work as we need the money (ie in theory I can't afford to take the last 3 months of mat leave unpaid).

My girls are still tiny (under 9lb at 5 mths old), still on oxygen at home. If I could get those last 3 months as paid leave (even shitty SMP), it would make a massive difference.

That would be massively unfair to those parents of children born after 33 weeks with issues

Mermaid I know how that feels, but even harder when you have twins in 2 different hospitals.

I don't think it can be underestimated how having an unexpected premature baby who has significant problems at birth throws your whole life into turmoil. And yes mothers/women are discriminated against, but that's not a good enough reason not to introduce something that will be a massive help to mums and their early babies. There are other ways to fight discrimination against women at work.

I didn't explain that very well. What I meant was if it had been possible would you have preferred that your husband tacked his holiday leave onto the end of his paternity leave?

Absolutely but she was in hospital longer than his paternity leave + full years annual leave entitlement anyway. I don't know what the answer is because it's unrealistic to pay him for that entire period and it'd unaffordable to have it unpaid. But ultimately I sat next to an incubator day after day, facing these horrible realities on my own and then she went home and I had to figure it all out on my own which was bloody difficult with PND and PTSD. My mum had to take some leave to be with me as at a point I literally couldn't cope on my own. Like the previous poster I didn't know I was going to have my baby at 28 weeks until an hour before I was rushed into theatre. With the second baby we did hold onto leave because we knew a premature birth was a possibility (which in the end was a reality) and likewise I made plans for an early start to mat leave at work. It was easy to plan when you know it's a possibility but few people know that if they've no previous history of premature labour.

maybe I was also diagnosed with PTSD after the girls were born. I'm lucky that I have the neonatal outreach team come twice a week (because of the oxygen), plus the HV every 2 weeks, means I can access professional support if/when I need it.

I don't think it can be underestimated how having an unexpected premature baby who has significant problems at birth throws your whole life into turmoil.

No one is doubting that, but having a baby at 42 weeks who has significant problems at birth throws your whole life into turmoil too; why are those parents entitled to less leave just because they were pregnant for longer?

perhaps they can as well pottering, under new laws. I wouldn't not bring this in because of all the other 'what abouts' though - let's introduce something else that helps others who have a sick bay too that was born full term.

I don't know what the answer is tbh. I left work the day I had dd (12 weeks prem) as I hadn't worked there long enough to qualify for mat leave. I didn't return to work full time for 5 years.

During those 5 years I worked evenings and weekends with a lot of family support dd had so many hospital appointments/short hospital stays that holding down a 9-5 would have been impossible.

Dd attended nursery for the first time aged 2 and caught an infection that led to a month in hospital and 6 months bed rest, learning to walk again etc. Again that much time off work would have been impossible.

She's older now and still has 6-8 routine hospital appointments a year which require a full day of work (hospital is an hour drive each way and generally 2 hours in there) so still a big chunk of my leave.

Sorry for rambling.. I suppose my point is the repercussions of having a prem baby last years, and of course full term babies can have long term health issues too, so where would the line be drawn?

Anyway, I've signed and shared and would encourage others to just read the petition blurb before making a decision:

www.change.org/p/extend-maternity-leave-for-mothers-of-premature-babies?recruiter=57510919&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink

Apologies for the rubbish spelling in that post, I'm not usually illiterate

It's such a tough situation.

If I was sitting beside someone in scbu and I knew they were getting, say, 7 extra weeks maternity leave paid, when I wasn't - I would personally find that really hard to cope with.

Both my DC were premature. DS was born at 29 weeks, spent 95 days in hospital & came home after his due date on oxygen; I could hardly leave home for 6 months. So 9 months of maternity leave were pretty grim. My pay stopped when he was in NICU, 8 weeks old.

I ended up taking 3 months unpaid parental leave at the end as I was advised not to place him in childcare over the winter. No nursery or CM would accept a baby on oxygen & I couldn't afford a nanny after 3 months of hospital parking charges.

DD was born just short of 36 weeks & it wasn't a big deal at all.

I think it would have helped massively if I could have been signed off sick until 36weeks & my maternity pay started then.

The financial implications of having a very premature baby were huge.

I have enormous sympathy for parents of Premature babies, but I don't think this is workable. As others have said what about full term babies who have to spend time in hospital? And What about a mother with a difficult pregnancy who has to begin their mat leave early? They would have less time with their newborn too.

To those saying that teen babies can have problems too; yes they can BUT maternity pay/leave starts when baby is born (unless before 28weeks). So the mother of a 24-weeker will perhaps be unpaid from delivery, then have to start maternity leave at 28 weeks. The full term mother isn't losing out on up to 16 weeks pay. A huge difference.

If there was legislation saying that maternity pay cannot start before 36 weeks (currently 28 weeks), I would support that. It could easily be done.

*term

I can't believe people saying "no" because they wouldn't get it. What a sad, dog in the manger attitude.

If your child has a life threatening illness and they're in scbu and left with long term problems why shouldn't you get the same as the person in the next bay? That's really unfair.

I think there should be more parental leave after a baby is born, at whatever gestation.
At least one year leave that could be shared by the parents in whichever way they would like.

DS2 was born at 31 weeks, in hospital for 5 weeks, so came home before his due date, I returned to work when he was 6 months old, 4 months corrected.

If we as a society actually value our children/families, if we fully understand that we actually need younger people to sustain our society, then we have to fund truly family friendly ways of working.

Yes, I think they should.

If I was sitting beside someone in scbu and I knew they were getting, say, 7 extra weeks maternity leave paid, when I wasn't - I would personally find that really hard to cope with.

But each company has different mat leave anyway. My DH's firm only do 6 weeks of full pay, and the rest is SMP. I got 13 weeks of full pay because I work for a different company. So you'd automatically be getting something different anyway.

Some of the other twins in our NICU were born at 30-32 weeks, and were just feeders and growers, they were home before their due date once feeding was established and the babies could control their body temperature. Did I feel insanely jealous of these families, getting to take home 4lb babies?? Absolutely right I did! Did I begrudge them the 'extra' weeks at home I didn't have? No, because I know how bloody difficult it all is.
I don't give a rat's ass whether someone is getting more money than me; it's just that the whole 'baby' experience is tarnished by the fact that not only am I worrying about my tiny girls, I'm also worrying even more about money than is usual.

So the solution is perhaps better parental leave, career break options, and greater acceptance of flexible and part time working? For all parents, not just those how have prem babies?

sauvingnon it is likely that a mother can claim sick pay if she delivers at 24 weeks. If I remember correctly it is illegal for a mother to return to work within 14 days of giving birth and so she would have to have either sick pay or mat leave.

I'm not saying that parents shouldn't have the support, but I think it is important to recognise that one set of circumstances don't necessarily trump another. We should be supporting all parents.