This is the worst word salad ever seen in a complete sentence

[MyDadWasAnArse]

"I’d of had to of went home."

Someone talking about being invited to someone's house that was a pigsty.

How can you conjure that sentence up?

I'm a pedant but do make mistakes. However, that sentence wasn't conjured, it's just a collection of words used by someone with little formal and pastoral education. It does accurately get across the meaning, so I forgive it. It isn't as bad as Eats, shoots and leaves relating to a Panda.

I know several people capable of that sentence! Always find it interesting when local dialect (can we call it that?) leads to a sentence containing more words than the original “pure” grammar required.

It has its own kind of dire picturesqueness? I’m trying hard here. Actually, it’s so convolutedly wrong it does have a kind of grandeur.

It’s perfectly understandable though! I think it’s quite charming

Hyberno-English would create a sentence like that.

I’m only after seeing her this morning.

I do be rushing in the morning.

Its how sentences are formed in gaeilge

It’s hardly that bizarre. They’ve just said of instead of ‘ve. Fairly common mistake, and the sentence construction is sound.

'Went' in place of 'gone' feels more like regional dialect rather than a mistake.

The only true mistake in that sentence is substituting 'of' in place of 'have', which is a very easy mistake to make, and very common. In spoken English that sound made by 'have' in 'I would've' is identical to the sound of 'of' in (eg) 'He is king of the pedants'. So it is a natural error to make.

Instead of looking at the errors in the sentence, why not marvel at the correct use of a very complex tense.

'I would have had to have' is an amazingly ornate structure, which must cause endless puzzles to people who learn English as a second language. And yet the speaker referred to in the OP uses it fluently and correctly

Everything that Megain Markle says

Was it written or spoken? Presumably written as you wouldn't know it was of instead of 've if it was spoken. It looks a bit clunky written down and of is incorrect but would sound fine if spoken.

I do know what you mean OP, it probably sounds jarring if you’re not used to it.

That said - if you’re up here visiting Scotland then we often pronounce ‘ve to sound like of, and large numbers of people use went instead of gone, so if it bugs you then it’s probably best stick to Edinburgh festival audiences!

I think it is perfectly understandable if spoken as written. I'm Scottish - i wonder if there are some turn of phrases that are more understandable by Scots!

It's just a dialect. I'm from the NW of england and I can hear that in my head spoken here. Makes perfect sense to me
If it was written though it is more clumsy, unless it was specifically trying to convey a dialect.

There's also been the classic 'Jacqueline High' this morning.

(Op meant Jekyll and Hyde of course)

Should have/of went instead of gone is very common in Scotland.

I have to disagree, would’ve and would of are not pronounced the same in the nw. It’s either would av or would uv for would’ve and would ov for of. But of course trying to explain that without knowing the proper symbols for vowel sounds is pointless! Because you’ll read them differently!!

@MyDadWasAnArse It is not a dialect! these are the words of someone who did not pay any attention in school!! we all know what the writer is trying to say but this is not King's English!!!

But your examples are perfectly standard Hiberno-English, translating ‘Táim tar éis…,’, not SPAG errors.

I was going to say, I wonder if the person is Scottish as I also think it's understandable and I'm Scottish.

They've also said went when they meant gone.

There's more wrong with it than that!

But in many parts of the country they are pronounced the same, and at the very least they are pronounced extremely similarly, so the writing error is still extremely natural.

I've just reread the title for this thread. Calling the sentence a word salad is just so completely over the top. I think that the minor errors in the sentence just serve to draw attention to its very ornate (but correct) tense structure. It is that weird structure, I think, that has led to OP to think in terms of a 'word salad' rather than a minor error.

I'm aware would've can sound like would of, however if you understand grammar and read (not social media, that's probably the source of the whole problem) you'd know how to write it.

I'd like to meet the very first person who wrote would of. They've created a monster!

But it is still a very minor error, not a 'word salad'. A word salad is a nonsensical piling up of words that fails to communicate ideas coherently. This speaker communicated just fine.

It’s not a single error, though. The grammar is shot. The sentence should read ‘I would have had to go home’ or ‘I would have had to have gone home’. Or more informally ‘I’d have had to go home’.

That sentence has given me a headache.