When is it appropriate to correct someone?

[ItsFineReally]

Prompted by "Should I of gotten?"...

I am aware that if a post can be easily understood, despite spelling and grammatical errors, it's generally considered poor form to point out those mistakes.

Threads being derailed by multiple posters all making the same (but irrelevant to the issue) point can be frustrating as a reader. This must be moreso the case for the OP whose a genuine problem may be being overlooked while this is going on.

But... at what point is the error so egregious as to make it appropriate to correct someone? For instance, is pointing out that "lose" is the correct word, not "loose," ever helpful? Should errors be left uncorrected on social media altogether, or are there cases where it’s necessary to address them?

What’s your personal threshold for when you feel compelled to make a correction?

You never used to see ‘should OF etc’ until the last few years (and yes, my phone has corrected that ‘of’ to ‘have’ so many times, it’s taken me ages to write this).

Sometimes it's possible to model correct SPAG, in the same way most of us naturally do with our kids. The other person may take the hint or not.
Eg for 'should they of been more discrete?' you could maybe start your response with something like, 'yes, I agree with you, they really should have been a lot more discreet.'

Some mistakes matter, others don't.

@DarkAndTwisties Yes, autocorrect is the bane of my existence sometimes when you have to override its natural inclinations... but you must have to force it with of and have.

I heard it so regularly growing up that I'd be really surprised if no one was ever writing it. I bet teachers saw it!

I think asking questions to clarify meaning is OK.
Saying the original post was gobbledegook is not.
My DD is dyslexic and I would want her to be able to ask for advice without getting jumped on for poor SPaG.

My personal bugbear is weary v wary.

On here?

1 - If the poster has asked for help with their spag.

2 - If the poster has been a twat to another poster about spag but has dropped a clanger in their own post.

I actually enjoy when I see what is clearly a Scottish dialect as I tend to hear it in my head.

The thing that bad grammar does highlight is that someone doesn't read much other than social media.

That's not to say they aren't educated - plenty of information in video form these days - but IMO reading long form books or articles does train a different type of focus / thinking.

When they are your DH.

It might not be unclear but it's still wrong. Language might be changing but 'of' and 'have' are words with a completely different meaning.

I write so many typos it would be very hypocritical of me to correct other people's!

Poor grammar however increases the amount of work I have to do to read and understand someone else's post. If that's down to their laziness in bothering to say add fulls stops or sometimes failing to use any punctuation at all, I resent them trying to get me to put all the work in in understanding them and want them to know about it. However, in these cases I usually just ignore the post and don't bother taking the time to write an answer.

It's dreadful and shows ignorance.

Agree. I’d be the person being corrected as I was not taught SPAG grammar really only when I started learning other languages and then related it back to English.
I do feel shame sometimes especially spelling.

If I was corrected on MN I’d feel a bit of shame. Sometimes it may not even be the person but spell check correction or not being able to type well or proof read. (When reading my own thinks my head may read what it things should be there, rather than what’s written or I don’t bother for MN)

edit to correct a word.

@ItsFineReally @financialcareerstuff @itsmabeline taken together, these posts have clarified something for me so I'm grateful.

Of course there is a difference between nuance and accuracy, but I feel it's up to the speaker to pick a word that most accurately reflects the nuances that they want to convey. For example, an unexpected word in a poem can convey a whole new set of references and meaning. It's no doubt a lot of effort for the poet to find that word, but it opens up the reader's experience enormously. We don't normally make that much effort in everyday speech but I sometimes feel the pendulum has swung too far the other way.

"I love grammar and have pedantic tendencies, but I think it's really important to understand that language is always evolving. The rules of grammar are supposed to reflect usage, not constrain it."

@Emptyandsad This last paragraph of yours has just turned me right around. I also have pedantic tendencies, and often itch to correct posts or even my DH, who insists that "should of" is correct, as "that is how it's said". I never try to correct anyone on SM, but have tried with DH a couple of times in the past to no avail. Your last sentence has been a lightbulb moment for me, which has already relaxed my rant-prone inner pedant, so, thank you! 😅

even my DH, who insists that "should of" is correct, as "that is how it's said".
What amazes me about MN is just how low some women set the bar.

Would you not rather be corrected on an anonymous forum than by your line manager? I think I'd feel worse about that.

You could argue it's akin to walking around with a mascara smudge on my face. I'd really prefer the first person who spoke to me that day to point it out rather than the 20th! (Based on a true story...!)

I'd only correct/comment SPAG on MN where:

a) it has potential real world consequences (misspelled wording for a covering letter/the near-illiterate OP is proposing to tutor their DC themselves for 11+)
b) the error is legitimately funny or ironic (pubic for public is a perennial classic). Normally just typos, but sometimes malapropisms.
c) the poster is being a superior arse and looking down on others left, right and centre.

When people are being corrected it also suppresses what they say next, as they feel judged and try to limit what they say to simple stuff they know is correct. It tells people to keep their communication within narrower bounds.

@financialcareerstuff Aren't they being judged whether they feel it or not? Perhaps being corrected gives people the opportunity to grow and improve. And to be judged more favourably by the next person when they get it right.

English is a funny language and I don't know how you'd know, for example, that Magdalene College is pronounced Maudlin without someone telling you. But if no-one did then you'd forever go around saying it wrong. (Not that people generally say Magdalene all the time but you get the point).

I guess I'm just not sure why there's so much shame in getting something wrong.

Are you me @RabbitsRock ?
I feel the same way.

Interesting. There's a mistake niggling me at the moment where none of those criteria appear to apply (the "culprit" is clearly a native speaker who had a good education). Someone boasting talking about their first-class law degree who used the phrase "right of passage". Itching to correct it, but I have resisted...

English is a funny language and I don't know how you'd know, for example, that Magdalene College is pronounced Maudlin without someone telling you. But if no-one did then you'd forever go around saying it wrong. (Not that people generally say Magdalene all the time but you get the point).

I guess I'm just not sure why there's so much shame in getting something wrong.

Anyone who is snotty about a mispronunciation of a word that someone has clearly acquired by reading rather than having heard it should be ashamed of themself.

It's usually obvious.

Me too. There for their or they are, bare for bear, loose for lose, too for to etc are commonplace.

It shocks me how many posters claim to be teachers but their posts have at least one typo or grammar error.

Agree, but I'd still rather someone told me I was saying it wrong than letting me crack on.