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Pedants' corner

Myself - no, you mean I or me!

80 replies

Hottoffeesauce · 04/02/2023 13:28

Has anyone else noticed that people are using 'myself' because they aren't sure about when to use 'I' or 'me'? Drives me crackers!

OP posts:

Report

teezletangler · 05/02/2023 00:42

My theory - addressing someone more important as "you" has been considered rude and overly familiar for a long time. That's why the correct pronoun for the king is not "you" but "your majesty". Duchesses are addressed as "your grace". High court judges are addressed as "your honour".

Yes this is a good theory. It's like an extension of "me" seeming incorrect or rude to people, so everyone now uses "I" incorrectly in its place, when when it's the object.

momtoboys · 05/02/2023 00:52

It makes me barmy. People just throw “myself” in whenever they want and most of the time it is completely inappropriate.

Hottoffeesauce · 05/02/2023 01:17

Well, glad it's not just me who gets cross about this!

OP posts:

Hottoffeesauce · 05/02/2023 01:20

Even King Charles said it in his first Christmas speech! Shocking!

OP posts:

SenecaFallsRedux · 05/02/2023 01:28

Hottoffeesauce · 05/02/2023 01:20

Even King Charles said it in his first Christmas speech! Shocking!

Yes, he did. And he should know better.

And his son the Prince of Wales also seems to be afraid to say "me." He is fond of saying things like "It means so much to Catherine and I."

ShirleyPhallus · 05/02/2023 01:30

Yes it’s awful. Often customer service people use it - “don’t hesitate to call myself back” “let myself know if you need further help” etc

Sunbird24 · 05/02/2023 01:58

Florissant · 04/02/2023 16:43

Used not use. Thank heavens they immigrated and I no longer have to work with them.

You mean emigrated if they left the country 😉The best way to remember the difference is to think of them as i(n)mmigrated and e(x)migrated

AJ2009 · 05/02/2023 01:58

Shell no 'etc' is the correct way

'Ect' would seem correct in the way it is spelt but is wrong all the same

MadnessPrevails · 05/02/2023 02:02

It’s very common for Irish people to throw in reflexive pronouns where they shouldn’t be. Not usually myself, but himself, yourself, and herself. For example “is himself upstairs?” “Good man yourself”.

HerbalTeaAndCake · 05/02/2023 02:03

upinaballoon · 04/02/2023 21:42

The nice lady at the building society said, "Leave your passbook and we'll make it up for you after the 31st and we'll post it back to yourself." I thought, "You." I said nothing. Coward??

🙈🤣

Clymene · 05/02/2023 11:27

Florissant · 04/02/2023 16:42

And"utlitise" rather than "use". I have a colleague who said that all of the time. And they use semi-colons when they should have used colons.

I think you are actually me. I spent a lot of Thursday searching for utilise in a document someone else had written and replacing it with use.

Drives me bananas.

skywalkersweetie · 05/02/2023 11:30

AJ2009 · 05/02/2023 01:58

Shell no 'etc' is the correct way

'Ect' would seem correct in the way it is spelt but is wrong all the same

Stands for et cetera in Latin, hence the etc!

VenturaMabel · 05/02/2023 11:40

Following on from a previous poster who mentioned the Prince of Wales saying, 'Catherine and I' rather than 'Catherine and me'.

Could someone explain what's wrong with 'and I'. Is there ever a situation where 'and I' would be correct?

Here to learn 😊

Sunbird24 · 05/02/2023 11:47

@VenturaMabel the easiest way to tell is to see what you would say if you took the other person out of the sentence. So for example, “thank you for thinking of Catherine and I” would be incorrect, as you wouldn’t say “thank you for thinking of I”, you’d say “thank you for thinking of me”. So in that case it would be Catherine and me. If you were saying “Catherine and I were very happy”, then I is correct because if you left Catherine out you’d have said “I was very happy”. It’s all about the subject vs the object of the sentence.

Does that help at all?

Florissant · 05/02/2023 12:59

VenturaMabel · 05/02/2023 11:40

Following on from a previous poster who mentioned the Prince of Wales saying, 'Catherine and I' rather than 'Catherine and me'.

Could someone explain what's wrong with 'and I'. Is there ever a situation where 'and I' would be correct?

Here to learn 😊

It's impossible to say without knowing the rest of the sentence.

Correct: Catherine and I would like to thank you for your kind words.
Incorrect: Catherine and me would like to thank you for your kind words.

Correct: The letter was addressed to Catherine and me.
Incorrect: The letter was addressed to Catherine and I.

Note: If you are not sure if it should be "I" or "me" remove the other person from the sentence, e g:

I would like to thank you.
The letter was addressed to me.

Florissant · 05/02/2023 13:09

Sunbird24 · 05/02/2023 01:58

You mean emigrated if they left the country 😉The best way to remember the difference is to think of them as i(n)mmigrated and e(x)migrated

Show quote history

Thank you for pointing that out. I assure you it was carelessness rather than ignorance, as I am a furriner me ownself and immigrated to this country.

Florissant · 05/02/2023 13:10

Ninja'd by Sunbird24!

Fleur405 · 05/02/2023 13:14

I absolutely deplore this. I once received an email that said something along the lines of “I have been unable to contact yourself on the telephone. Please telephone myself on xxx.”

For some reason people seem to think it’s more polite than using you/me (even though it’s actually just stupid and makes no sense).

nxa · 05/02/2023 13:22

Drives me up the wall. It's the exclusive domain of the stupid.

longwayoff · 05/02/2023 13:35

It's high on my hate list. Yet worse, I heard Stacey Dooley - who had apparently had a recent unsuccessful lesson on the difference between 'I may' and 'I can' - say to several people on TV "may you hand me your keys?". Made me grind my teeth.

momtoboys · 05/02/2023 19:29

I think I have found my Mumsnet tribe! 🤓

StopFeckingFaffing · 05/02/2023 19:32

Almost wishing I hadn't been educated on this point as its going to start annoying me now!

Listening to "Just a Minute" on the radio earlier today and one of the female panellists kept starting her monologues with "I myself". Surely that doesn't make sense??!

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ComfortablyDazed · 05/02/2023 19:34

I had a manager who would overuse it, e.g. ‘set up a meeting with them and include yourself and myself’. You and me, surely.

As per a previous poster though, I make a blanket exception for Irish people who routinely use all of myself, yourself, himself and herself, and it sounds absolutely OK when they do it. #doublestandards

Sunbird24 · 05/02/2023 19:38

@Florissant sorry! 🤭

@ComfortablyDazed the ‘yourself’ in your example is right, but the ‘myself’ should definitely just be a ‘me’! If you’re setting up the meeting and putting your own name on the list then you would be including yourself.

Florissant · 05/02/2023 19:50

Please don't apologise, @Sunbird24 ! This is the Pedants' Corner so you were right to correct me for my error.

And the ninja'd comment meant that you had posted a reply before I did.

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