Saying "Pardon?" or "What?" ??

[Mandalin]

I frequent an Australian parenting a forum and I posed the same question. Personally I prefer a politely said "what?" and teach my children the same.

They are all going off their rockers with outrage that I could teach them something so rude and that "Pardon?" or "Pardon me?" is well bred Australian.

I'm sticking to my guns.
I hate "Pardon?", and find it a bit LMC or low brow if you like but then I was brought up in England.

I would love to get your opinions.

Everyone in my family says "what?" (in a polite way), I don't think I've ever heard any of them say "pardon". We where certainly never told not to say it, but as it's not a word that has ever been in my vocabulary I don't use it and don't think DS will either.

(I'm sure I had a pair of nickerbockers as a child though![fgrin but that's another story!)

I really neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to this

I'm really sorry

but

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden (dee dee deeeeee)

I say, this is snobbery not pedantry.

Just be happy if they speak politely

We tend to go with "Say again?" which is probably rude but tres militaire.

And if you hear part of what the person said, you say "Say again all after "chicken"" (or whatever).

I was always a Sorrywhat-ter rather than a Pardoner.

about the knickerbockers, I escaped those but did have straw boaters inflicted upon me.

"or endless sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometime"

just me?

We say 'sorry?' if something is misheard, and then if more clarification is needed (ie it's met with a blank look as to what you are apologising for) we'll add' I didn't catch what you said'.

DD says 'pardon me'(I hate it and do correct her) if she burps/farts etc but ds says 'excuse me'. TBH, it's easier to just teach that 'excuse me' works for everything, it works as a way to interrupt, to introduce yourself to someone you don't know, to ask someone to move, to apologise for burping/farting etc, to ask someone to repeat what they said and more.

So teaching a young child 'excuse me' is much much easier.

Have taught ds 'excuse me' as it sounds more polite from a child than 'what' and less common than 'pardon'. Was rather taken with the military 'say again' when I spent a bit of time with the army.

I think 'pardon me' is very American (when used to mean 'I didn't hear you' rather than 'excuse me'). I've no idea if that's true or not, but when I hear it in my head it's definitely being said in an American accent.

Yes, 'Pardon me' used to mean 'What?' or 'I'm sorry, I didn't hear that' is very American.

Also, 'Excuse me' is used (round these parts, anyway) to mean, I'm going to shove you out of the way, not in a please move so I can squeeze through sort of way.

My (snobbish) mother felt very strongly that "Pardon?" was common (I do wince when DH says it), and "What?" is just plain rude, so I've grown up saying "Sorry?" at lot. One of the many ways the British can find to apologise.

My father says 'I beg your pudding' in jokey way to my DCs!

'What was that?' is a less perfunctory version of 'what?'........ but tone is everything.

Oh God, who cares? As long as they're polite??

FWIW, I'm with Malgrat, I'm going to be singing that all night now, rofl.

My children have got it sussed.
As DD2 explained to DD3 recently:'At home you have to say what because pardon is rude, and at school you have to say pardon because what is rude.'

LOL! Most folk think DS is well-mannered because he says "you're welcome" when someone says thank you to him.

They dont usually get to hear him say "WHAAAAAAAAT???" when he hears something he doesnt like, or, if he mis-hears something.

does anyone say 'come again?' I'm sure people used to...

At home my line is usually "I CANT HEAR YOU, COME HERE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME INSTEAD OF YELLING FROM UPSTAIRS". Or, "Stop mumbling and face me when you talk to me"

I say 'what' to people down south and 'ay' to people up north.

As I get older though, I do occasionally find myself barking 'I'm really deaf, so do please speak up'!

I beg your pardon is only for occasions when you let loose a massive belch in public!

People will say 'Pardon?' in the US as well, or 'Come again?'

'What?' is considered a bit rude there, at least in the South where I'm from.

DH and DD1 say 'Sorry?'

They use sorry a lot.

To the point where my mother was in a lift with someone in Florida and someone dunted her and said, 'Oh, sorry!' in that particular voice and my mother immediately queried, 'Oh, what part of Scotland are you from?'

and I have nver heard anyone ever say 'pleased to meet you' hmm

Come to Australia, 'cept it's "Noice to meetchoo" here.

Was brought up with "Pardon" but have migrated to "Sorry, could you say that again?" / "Sorry, what did you say?" / "Sorry, I didn't catch that?". I suspect that, owing to the presence of the "Sorry", these are just as non-U as "Pardon", but they feel better and make more sense to me .

I say 'sorry?' and when I meet someone I say 'hello' whilst making good eye contact and would also shake hands with them if they are men and over 50. The rudest thing of all is not making eye contact with someone whilst speaking to them - it makes me want to scream.

I get a bit tired of these 'U' and 'non-U' discussions when people can be apparently perfectly 'U' whilst being totally fucking rude.

There was a good new list in time Times last week. In place of U and non-U is yes and no.

this isn't pedantry, it is pure snobbery.
there is nothing rude or incorrect about saying pardon, it just marks you out as Not One Of Us.
which is fine if you don't mind being sneery.
but it is very common.

I meant it is very common and vulgar to sneer.
not to say pardon.
FTAOD.

I prefer "Pardon?" or "Sorry?". "What?" sounds very rude to me, almost as though the person thinks you are mumbling and incoherent and wasting their precious time.

I don't care if it is common, I'd rather be thought a common, polite person than a posh, rude person any day!