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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

Parents of 4 year olds and over - did you have a 4th birthday party?

45 replies

CocodeBear · 14/06/2008 23:00

Do most 4 year old have a birthday party with actual guests, etc.

DD1 has been banging on for ages about having a party. I've been nodding vaguely.

Unfortunately, the birthday is looming, and I need to make a decision.

The problem is I don't want to hold a party; our house is too small; I don't want to pay for an entertainer or hire a venue or invite any small people over or make any food.

Four-year-olds don't seem to have proper consistent friends, so I'd have no idea who to invite.

How do I get out of it?

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 15/06/2008 08:53

Oh. Why do you want to get out of it? Is it a cost thing or a time thing or a mixture of both?

If it is a cost thing, then I'd try to make it small, ie keep it at home and restrict it to tea and organise a few games for them. To be honest, that solves the time thing as well.

As to who to invite, your DD will know.

Mine had parties - DD's was an entertainer at a village hall - surprisingly costly when you factor in the food etc. DS went for softplay I think at 4. The party I enjoyed most was the magician. The party they enjoyed most was tobogganing.

cameroonmama · 15/06/2008 09:00

If I hadn't done a party for ds1 for his 4th he would have left home

It's all he talked about for about a gazillion months prior to it happening!

If you are having it at home, keep it simple no more than say 6, put all the toys away and give it a simple dress up theme. Lots of music and dancing games always work. Pass the parcel is tedious but works if there is only one layer per child so its not too long. Also treasure hunts always go down a treat, let them search for tiny things relelvant to the party idea. Invite the parents to stay if they want but don't worry about looking after them.

Personally I wouldn't do the soft play thing at this age, though plenty do. What we have found works well is a small local village hall.

In my opinion they all love parties at this age, the most important aspect of it being THE CAKE and what it is

princessmel · 15/06/2008 09:03

Oh yes, we always make a cake! Dh and I get very into it but ds is much more interested in when his friends are arriving.

Love2bake · 15/06/2008 09:04

Yes you should definately have a party.

My DS had a fire engine party this year for his 4th. I invited all his friends from nursery that I knew would be going up to school with him in September. They had a great time.

Parties are big business around my area up until about age 8, then they just have sleepovers with a couple of friends or something simular.

savoycabbage · 15/06/2008 09:07

I had one in my (also small) house with only five guests and it was not as bad as I thought it would be! I made some pass the parcels and we played musical bumps and they loved it. It was two hours which I have learnt was too long and would only have an hour and a half now.

I made some cakes and things and pushed the furniture againstthe wall and my dd really enjoyed herself. I was glad when it was over but really pleased that I had done it.

Eddas · 15/06/2008 09:09

dd had her 4th bday party yesterday. The only thing i would change was the length of it. It was 2 hours long which i think was too long for her and a few of the others and maybe also the fact that it was in the afternoon wasn't too good. But she has ballet in the morning so had to be afternoon.

Anyhow, I hired the local church hall and we did a few games and has food and i think it went ok.

For games we did pass the parcel, musical statues/chairs/bumps, bubble wrap jumping and corners(put a colour in each corner, when music stops run to a corner, pick a corner those in it lose)

We had somewhere between 15 and 20 kids mainly 3 and 4. Was ok, not too many.

if cost is a factor i didn't spend too much, around £70 maybe, which is cheaper than softplay for that number of children.

My friend is having her dd's 4th birthday party soon and is having optional dressing up with a princess and superhero theme.

Original poster

CocodeBear · 15/06/2008 09:12

The cost is def a factor putting me off.

Also the work involved.

Plus our house is little, too little for a sizeable number of guests.

OP posts:

Love2bake · 15/06/2008 09:21

One of my friends once held a 3rd B day party in the local park.

At first I was a bit like but actually it was a really lovely party. She did loads of different games like pass the parcel, little running races with beans bags and egg and spoon etc. The kids played duck, duck, goose and they singing game 'farmers in the den'. It was really lovely.

There was loads of space for the kids to run about, and she just kept it to about 12 kids and made sure there was enough adults about to keep the kids safe. Then for food it was a good old fashioned picnic.

It cost hardly anything, but would need a bit more planning, also you need the good weather.

cameroonmama · 15/06/2008 09:22

Frankly you can keep it small, have a princess tea party, sandwiches and fairy cakes (buy ready made at Tesco if you don't fancy the work) some fruit and a birthday cake. Pop on some music and let them dance. An hour and half will go very quickly and everyone will be happy. You don't need to do any games, just blow up some balloons!

We don't like party bags so we tend to buy one small cheap thing, like say a small pink mug and give it away at the end with a balloon. Cheap and cheerful!

SheherazadetheGoat · 15/06/2008 09:29

only really read op and skimmed rest. you are being abit mean but i totally understand. i was really stressed about dd's birthday. in the end i invited about 10 kids from nursery and they had a fantastic time. they all knew each other so played really well together. got a bubble machine on mumsnet advice whcih was a big hit.

food is easy. i made pizza, sausage rolls etc.

dd loved her party. you will make her happy. and she doesn't need big presents spend the cash on the party.

handlemecarefully · 16/06/2008 10:27

"At the parties we have been to recently the children have sat around gormlessly whilst the parents have passed the parcel because the children (aged 3-4) are so clueless/ uninterested. "

I guess we must have something in the water around here which makes local children developmentally advanced then, because the 3 and 4 year olds at parties I have been to seem quite adept at participating in simple party games

GooseyLoosey · 16/06/2008 10:35

Don't get out of it, go for it!

I went to one recently in a fairly small house. There were 5 guests. They played pass the parcel (it had loads of princess paper on and sparkly bits in each layer (slides and bracelets etc) and musical thrones. You have to keep games very simple at this age or they just don't get it. If you have a garden, they all like catch (you could be a dragon).

Hulababy · 16/06/2008 10:41

DD had a proper party from being 3yo. We use her parties as an excuse not only to invite her friends (at 3-4y she was at nursery so had her own friends) and also to invite DH and my friends who also have children (children DD knows and plays outside of nursery/school with).

At 3y we dd a Gymboree party which was simply games and songs, and some climbing, etc on the equipment.

At 4y ewe had a party in a sport's ha;; and hired a bouncy castle. We did pass the parcel which was fine, but didn't bother with other organised games.

My problem with too many organised games is that some childreb can end up spending a lot of time "out and it isn't much fun if you are that child.

We did lots of free play. We had the bouncy castle, a simple craft table with colouring and sicking on. We had some balloons to play with, and a couple of foam balls for the bottom end of the hall. We had music being played with flashy lights. And we had some giant bubble wrap on the floors for popping with toes.

Seemed to work so well. TBh worked so well we did similar for DD's 5th party too.

Hulababy · 16/06/2008 10:42

Re food I did party boxes and the children sat on picnic blankets on the floor with them. With the invites I sent out little rsvp slips where the child needed to chose a sandwich choice and a drink choice. I then added them and some extra bits to the boxes and handed out at food time.

ruddynorah · 16/06/2008 10:47

go for it! i almost wimped out for dd's 2ND birthday but went ahead. soft play place did all the work including basic party games. the kids loved it, mixture of dd's playmates at nursery and my friend's children. 12 altogether. mixture of ages. was really good fun, glad we did it

whoops · 16/06/2008 10:51

I didn't have a party for my dd's 4th birthday - I took her out for a girly day, we went shopping and had lunch the went to the cinema. Her birthday is early Jan so I took her to a cinderella grotto that was still open - she had a great day wasn't worred about a party and I didn't get stressed out about food and other peoples kids etc

stealthsquiggle · 16/06/2008 10:51

DS has had 'proper' parties since he was 3. For 3rd one we hired hall and soft play stuff (bouncy castle etc) and it was mostly 'unstructured play', 4th was a bit more organised (craft activities, etc) and 5th was proper games - 6 I am starting to panic about already.

4yos don't (on the whole) really "get" party games apart from pass the parcel IME - but balloons are key. As is space to run around - a princess picnic in the garden/park sounds ideal, especially if the park has a playground. Count yourself lucky - my DC have winter birthdays so garden/park is not an option and I effectively have to hire the village hall.

Parties are fun and they get too old and too "cool" for them very quickly - enjoy it while it lasts!

mellyonion · 16/06/2008 11:11

my dd had 5 girls home after nursery for her 4th bday... they came dressed up as princesses, had a teeny bit of food and trashed the house for an hour, then left, most contented...all of them!

i said on the invtation that parents were welcome to stay, but that i was happy to look after them. i arranged for one friend to stay with me, so i had back up!

it was noisy and messy, but they all had a blast.

mellyonion · 16/06/2008 11:13

meant to say, it was more like a big playdate....didn't stress too much about it at all..

Original poster

CocodeBear · 18/06/2008 18:44

looks like I'm going to have to do it then!

thanks for all the excellent ideas.

I'm encouraged that everyone seems to have actually enjoyed the parties they held

OP posts:

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