My ds1 has decided he wants a bowling party for his next birthday. We are inviting 20 children, 16 children from his class. There are 12 boys in his year. Ds1 has 2 special friends in his class, but likes and gets on with everyone and ideally he would like to invite all the children to his party. We are inviting all the children who invited him, but this leaves out only 2 boys from his year. Well, actually it would have left out 3 boys who did not have parties at all, but one of them is his best friend so he is obviously invited. I have a real problem leaving only 2 boys out. I am thinking it would be much more fair to leave some of the girls who invited him out as they would not feel so left out as lots of girls are not invited. In fact, the girls probably wouldn't even notice, but I cannot be sure the boys wouldn't be upset. Now, I am quite friendly with the girls mums, like the girls and would really like them at the party (I know it sounds like its my party now, but ds1 loves everyone so is useless at helping me decide). I don't really know the boys and I don't know their mums. We invited them last year and they did not let me know if they were coming and they did not bring a present. I don't demand big presents and ds1 didn't notice, but its not much effort to buy a chocolate bar for £1 and wrap it. This year I pay £14 per head for the party. I would really resent paying £14 per head if they don't show up when I could invite someone else. Basically I feel that because the mums didn't tell me last year and didn't make any effort at all, I want to leave these two boys out. On the other hand, it makes me feel mean, childish and that I am punishing these boys because of their mums behaviours. I also know they have not been invited to any parties so far this year. Other parents don't give a s*it who they upset and tend to leave 3 boys permanently out of the party circuit. Why should I be the only one to care about this? Well, I feel sorry for the boys in case this really upsets them. I feel that as parents organising parties we have certain responsibilities towards the kids to make sure noone is always left out. But why should I care when their mums don't seem to care? Stopping now as post getting very long and probably won't get any responses. I think I know already that I will invite all the boys and it is the right thing to do and that I should just chill, but I am interested in others opinions. What would you have done?