Tips for a child friendly wedding please

[KristinaM]

Here’s the situation – a woman I know, a single woman in her 50s, has fallen in love with a lovely man who is a widower in his 60s. They are planning a big wedding in the summer . As its her first she want to big do – church, reception in big hotel, speeches etc. She has asked ALL his grandchildren to be flower girls / pageboys as she didn’t want to leave anyone out (bless).

She wants to make the wedding as child friendly as possible but doesn’t really have a clue. She has asked his daughters/ daughters in law but they have very politely just said to do whatever she wants and they will fit in. Kind but not very helpful!

There will be bridesmaids of 2, 3, 8 and 14 years and 3 pageboys. Plus about 7 other young children as guests.

She was going to ask one of the mums to look after all the children during the speeches but I said don’t as it wont be fun for her and its too many. What do you think? Any other ideas? (Apart from leaving the kids at home!!!!) I suppose I am thinking of making the wedding as much fun as possible for the mums as well as the kids

thank you, these are great ideas...wish I had thought of them when I got married

Good idea LeahE. Maybe a specific bag for each child that would be age/sex appropriate. But no whistles etc.

Agree a specific bag for each child, wrap a few inexpensive/ quiet toys along with the crayons/ pencils and drawing pads/ colouring books to slow them down you could even wrap the crayons.

Employing someone for the reception shouldn't be a porblem as you can make it thet they are still technically under the parents care. Perhaps a couple of confident 2nd year student nursery nurses would do it cheap just for the experience and something to put on CV's.

Hardest bit will be the during the service as the under 5's could get a bit noisy, if child carers employed make sure they have a meet and greet with kids before service begins as kids might be unwilling to pop into the church hall with a total stranger for the duration, easier at the hotel when they can come and go from the main reception hall.

They will have to consider the timing of meals etc if there are loads of kids you don't want them all hungry and tired at the wrong time.

What a nice lady! We had loads of toddlers and babies at our wedding. Things we did were:

Put crayons, paper, colouring books and toys on tables where children sitting for meal (assuming all children will sit with their parents)

Have separate area for children to let off steam/retire to if it all gets too much.

Provide a table of 'party food' for children. Alot of the children shared the adult food (it was a buffet), but if you have a few reliable standbys (sandwiches, mini cheeses, raisins, whatever) it might keep them quiet for longer.

It would be great to hire somebody to look after the kids, although you would have to be very clear about who had responsibility for checking that nobody had wondered off. Also you would need to be clear about a timetable for the day - If one mum wants the nanny to look after her sleeping child from 7pm, it would be difficult for her to also mind other children who are still bouncing around.

She may find that loads of people will 'volunteer' to look after the children, however it is likely that what they mean is that they will pop over for 2 minutes and play with them and then get distracted and let them stick their fingers in plug sockets - any body who offers childcare help should be interrogated to clarify what they really mean!

we had a magician/entertainer in a side room at our wedding, with children's party food etc, not to shut the kids out, but on the basis that we were having a very posh meal and the speeches were very long! the kids were free to come and go between but it did mean that the adults got some peace and atleast some of their meal eaten. The adults took it in turns to keep aneye on the room and my nieces who were 13 and 15 at the time were round and about to. We also had favours for the children which was an age appropriate activity/toy which they could use straight away with minimal adult input.

haven't had time to read all the posts but...

when I arranged my first wedding (didn't go through with it but that's another story ... we had lots of friends with kids. So found a venue with a side room that we were going to turn into a playroom and organise someone professional to supervise :)

Oh Mrs big D , sory your plans didnt work out . Did you find someone nicer to marry later????

yep.. I did so no need to be sad for me :) was the best thing to do... felt more like the mother substitute with ex iykwim

glad it worked out for you