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Rules for the dinner table with kids

34 replies

IlanaK · 13/08/2005 19:22

With my ds1, we did not eat together as a family until very recently (I know - very bad parenting). However, we all eat together now (me, dh, ds1 who is 4 and ds2 who is 14 months). I love it and it is great for them both. However, we did have to teach ds1 things like asking to get down from the table when he is finished; waiting for dessert until everyone is ready, etc. These are easy to teach as he is 4, but I am struggling a bit with my youngest. I want things off on the right foot now - not to have to put up with bad behaviour at the table until he is 4 and then teach it.

One of the main problems with him is that he sometimes starts really whiney screaming and throwing things. We do say no, but generally to no effect. Tonight we had enough and each time he did it, we put him on the floor in the hallway. He did not like this one bit and cried and screamed and came back to us. When he stopped crying we put him back in the highchair. He started to get the idea at the end.

I read somewhere that you can't ever make children eat, so don't even try that battle. BUt you can make them sit at the table with you and behave nicely. So, what do you expect of your children at the dinner table (and what age are they) and how do you go about enforcing it?

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LilacLotus · 14/08/2005 22:18

eat your food.

Twik · 14/08/2005 22:23

LilacLotus that seems to be what I say over every mouthful of my own dinner. Honestly I don't know where we've gone wrong, she's got lovely manners most of the rest of the time but I can't get her to be very interested in food or mealtimes in general.

Twik · 14/08/2005 22:23

I mean, I say that to my daughter, not to myself.

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LilacLotus · 14/08/2005 22:31

the other rules are nice in theory but i am more concerned about her not eating than whether or not her elbows are on the table.

Twik · 15/08/2005 10:09

Yes, me too at the moment! The funny thing is with my little girl, she's actually got very nice manners, I just can't get her to stay at the table to eat. If I force it then she does start playing little games with her food, like making pieces of pasta have chats together and giving broccoli names!!

Caligula · 15/08/2005 10:09

Ah but that's where I went wrong Lilaclotus. I was so relieved that my ds ate anything, that I just didn't care about table manners. And now he's 6 and his table manners are abysmal and it's much harder to re-educate him now he's older, than it would have been had I started younger.

Don't let them hold you to ransom about food!

FairyMum · 15/08/2005 10:25

We eat together and my children are 7, nearly 4 and 13 months. My eldest have reasonable good table manners and really enjoy meals together. I have never had any rules whatsoever I have to say and I haven't needed it. But then I think they have learnt their manners at nursery where they are normally quite strickt with them I think.
I think main thing is making mealtimes relaxed and enjoyable. The rest will come naturally. Little ones should be allowed to throw a bit of food around I think. It doesn't last. The more uptight you are around the table, the harder mealtimes will be.

Caligula · 15/08/2005 10:28

I now regret not sending DS to nursery for one day a week before he started school, because schools don't re-inforce table manners any more. They encourage them to wolf their food the quickest way possible and get out to the playground. With DD, her table manners are already much better than DS's and that's partly down to re-inforcement at nursery.

Caligula · 15/08/2005 10:29

Actually I don't really regret it, only from the table manners point of view - agree that nurseries are really good on that!

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