Went to the PERFECT party today ... left feeling inadequate...

[Gameboy]

My DD went to the 3rd birthday party of a nusery friend today. It was actually really lovely, but I was just overwhelmed by how perfect it all was...

It was about 15 kids in their (big!) garden, and they'd decked it out with balloons etc. They had loads of outdoor toys/ climbing frame/ games etc. The party table was all colourful and matching. All the kids behaved really well, sat nicely and ate a yummy party tea. Meanwhile the hostess produced a tray of dips & canappes (sp?) and wine/ beer etc.
Their house was beautiful, and really tidy. Their kids are gorgeous bright and polite...

And when we left DD got a party bag which was really well thought out (not just crap).

As I said, it was absolutely perfect, but I came away feeling sort of overwhelmed - I don't know how these people manage it - they both work full time, and yet they seem to somehow have it 'all together' IYSWIM?
Don't quite know why, but I sort of feel jealous and inadequate as a result??

I've found that whenever I go to a children's party there's always at least one parent whispering that they wish they could hold a party as good as the one they're at - either they don't make their own food/didn't book an entertainer/haven't got a big garden/didn't have as good games or party bags - there's always something. And I've yet to go to a party that my daughter didn't LOVE.

You have to remember that they probably spent days cleaning that house. That's what I do before anyone comes round. Ppl say, ooh isn't your house tidy. Erm, just don't open any of the cupboards...

I have so far avoided doing parties but next year ds will be 4 and have pre-school friends so I'll have to bite the bullet. [scared icon]

Sounds fabulous, and I have a sneaky suspicion the party I'm taking DS1 to this afternoon will be one of those "OMG I wish I could do one like this" types.

At the kids house, but they've booked a fantastic kids entertainer/clown to come and entertain them (I know he's fab because it's the one that DS's nursery book every year for their Christmas party and I saw him last year). Plus this mum used to help make "story bags" for the nursery and was always coming up with really great and fun ideas for extra stuff to do with them.

Oh, don't fret Gameboy - just be pleased you & DD had such a nice time!

I'm sure there's lots of "grass being greener" stuff going on here....

We're really lucky cos we have a biggish garden for kids to play in, au pair who cleans etc etc and yet recently at a Mum's night out, and after a few glasses of wine, I found myself telling one of the other Mum's how much I admired her, and envied her lifestyle (she's really fit & runs marathons!). She nearly fell off her chair with shock - and then said that actually she always marvelled at DH & I and how we managed to do everything. We ended up having a 'mutual appreciation' session in the end .

Actually, makes me think that rather than bitching other Mum's up (not saying that you ARE, BTW...) we should all tell other Mums how fab specific things they do are - after all, NOBODY ELSE (DHs & kids....) usually do!!

When I go to a kids party or friends house or something, if there's something I really appreciate/ like or think is well done I always tell them! (And if I don't, then I try to keep my mouth shut )

"Once you've got a few under your belt, you find a formula that works for you and just keep repeating it."

And once you've got a few more under your belt, you start thinking "can I get out of having a party at all this year?"... (The first party I ever gave was for DD1's 3rd 20 years ago - I was 9 months pg at the time )

2 years ago I avoided DS2's 10th by being on holiday. Last year he had a laser party (in Morecambe with the worst food I've ever experienced). This year we hired a village hall and a disco (he contributed towards the cost).

THAT'S IT!!! NO MORE!!!!!

For smaller children it's having a party that matters, not what's in the party bags or if there's an entertainer or not, and they forget all the details in about a week! So enjoy the lavish ones you encounter but try not to feel yours have to be the same.

By the way, I've given up worrying about 'matching' people's party efforts, since we went to one kids' party where there was:

• a pig roast & 5 catering staff
• funfair sized bouncy castle
• inflatables in their (inside) swimming pool

and they had just taken delivery of a new kids climbing frame which had cost them...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
0ver £10,000..

Their kids are 3 and 1...........

OMG Mo - was this party at Beckingham Palace??!!!

DD's parties so far have been really cobbled together affairs (she is only 2 though). This year I think she'll be into it a bit more so want to be super-organised - think twinsetandpearls should be my mentor!

DD's birthday is mid-winter so have found myself dreaming about finding a venue that'd allow me to create a mini-beach and have a hawaiian theme complete with grass skirts and flowers and kid/adult cocktails.

Then slap myself and remind myself she'll only be 3 and prob couldn't care less.

And anyway, which sensible village/church hall would allow sand indoors ...

The worst one dd has ever been to was at a Mnachester Hotel, (malmaison)for a seven year old they had a Kylie concert comlpete with a lookalike, in the connecting rooms were bouncy castles, inflatable toys, half a dozen facepainters as well as the domestic staff from home to help out!!

OMG - came back from the party a few hours ago, it was amazing! 30+ kids running around the back garden, they've got pratically a "pets corner" at the end of it (ducks, hens, rabbits, guniea pigs, dogs, cats and gerbils ) so they spent ages watching the animals, then of course there was the kids trampoline, slide, swing, see-saw and sandpit, followed by entertain by "Mr Crumble" (who made balloon models at the end for all the children), she'd got some of those old fashioned straw bails for the children to sit on while watching mr crumble, lots of lovely home cooked/baked food.........and as one of the other mum's said it was just like you see in American films with the "idylic" children's party.

Thankfully though, having read this thread before I left I didn't come back feeling inadequate (although admittedly rather in awe!) just took a note book with me and wrote notes LOL

oh forgot to mention there "were" party bags........but all they contained was a piece of delicious choclate birthday cake

it's my ds's 2nd birthday next week and i was thinking of having a little party for him. one set of grandparents live abroad , one set of aunty doesn't give a stuff, one set of uncle and family will be on holiday, best mate will be in hospital,other aunty will almost certainly be busy. so don't know who to invite or what to do and fell a bit sad for him{sad]
he'll have one granny , his mum and dad a nd brother in a messy house with some balloons.
sounds good doesn't ti?

Alexsmum - for his 4th birthday last year DS1 had a KFC and birthday cake at home with me, DH and DS2. - that was it - but he loved it

I am probably a 'perfect party' offender. My Mum used to throw me the most fantastic parties as a child and I want to do the same for my kids. My DSs last party was on a train and everything was Thomas orientated, he loved it! I also try and give half decent party favours as I would rather spend a little bit more than give them some rubbish that ends up in the bin kwim?

That being said, I know a lot of the smaller details I obsess over go completely over the heads of the kids. Who cares though, I like doing it and the kids have fun and thats what counts

Can i ask would any mum be offended if their child didnt recieve a party bag. It seems to of started from somewhere and has become very competitive as like the parties.

Im like you WCL. I never celebrated birthdays as a child so I guess I compensate by going mad at my DS parties. This year (DS is 4) is a football party and everything will coordinate. I will dress as a clown and referee. I have hired the local sports gym with a function room. I love it. I also throw a non present bringing halloween party every year for the kids in our village hall, pumpin competition, fancy dress, games like find the spiders in the pasta.

Im like you WCL. I never celebrated birthdays as a child so I guess I compensate by going mad at my DS parties. This year (DS is 4) is a football party and everything will coordinate. I will dress as a clown and referee. I have hired the local sports gym with a function room. I love it. I also throw a non present bringing halloween party every year for the kids in our village hall, pumpin competition, fancy dress, games like find the spiders in the pasta.

LSS - today's party didn't really have "party bags" in the normal sense of the word - literlally the ONLY thing in them was a piece of birthday cake.........but none of the children I saw complained (and there were over 30 there).

As long as the party bag has a lolly in it, my DD seems happy. YOu lot are really funny.

QoQ - that DOES sound a lovely party - do they live on a farm if they have bales of hay to hand????

Mo2 - no they live in the middle of town, in the middle of pretty horrible council estate . Think they bought the hay bales from whoever they buy all their hay from for their multitudes of pets lol

One year I covered the front of the house in cardboard painted casle style, complete with shields etc for a Knights party for ds. Did they notice? Er, no. Invites were themed and sealed with his initial and in ribbon wrapped scrolls handwritten on parchment. All they wanted to do was trash the house and make farty noises with their armpits. On the other hand I've loved the themed parties I've done for the girls eg cooking parties with parents invited for canapes cooked by the girls, took their home made aprons and food home as goody bags, chinese banquet etc etc. It's the only time I tidy up. I love parties.

Swedishmum, that sounds great but hard work, got any photo's you could link?

Swedishmum, dd is having a prince and princess party we are ending out scrolls as invites, I so love your idea of making a cardoard castle, how did you do it?

Unfortunately I have no photos. I tried to get dodgy brick wallpaper but in the end used Ikea flatpack boxes and any others I could scroungeand painted bricks, cut an arch for the bit over the porch and castellated the bits on either side - the boys didn't even notice! I replaced the curtain over the front door with some cheap heraldic fabric and used some more to make purse shaped party bags wrapped round with cord. I also seem to remember using a fleur de lys stamp. For dd's princess party we had similar invitations but I got some cheap wooden chest shaped jewellry boxes from Ikea, sprayed them gold, then bought lots of jewels and other arty stuff from Baker Ross. These were their party boxes. They all came in fancy dress and made crowns. I'm going to have to have another party just so I can plan it!