grandmotherly duties

[Sugarmag]

My mother has just flown 3000 miles to visit her 2 grandhildren for a week. How nice. [insert sarcastic emoticon here] i think if she were placing an ad in the paper it would go something like this:

Ad: 60-something lady available for grandmotherly duties. Will read stories, sing songs, play games and colour. But only between the hours of 10am and 4pm. Before 10am I must not be disturbed until I have completely finished sleeping late, exercising, showering, dressing and eating breakfast. After 4pm I may be tired and need a nap. Above activities (reading, singing etc) will also only take place if they do not interfere with much more interesting activities such as reading the Fringe Festival guide from cover to cover or having an unscheduled mid-day nap. Duties do not include feeding, dressing, changing nappies, toileting or bathing (especially bathing as the smell of certain soaps and shampoos may make me feel ill and dizzy). Can provide evening babysitting duties if children are already asleep and their is sufficient crap to watch on television - preferably court tv or some really, really bad science fiction like attack of the giant killer ladybirds from outer space.

And sorry again, even the title of this thread, "grandmotherly duties" is a contradiction. Parents have duties, granparents are there to enjoy their grandkids whether it's for 10 minutes a day or a whole day if you're really lucky.

Ok, point taken about using the word "duties". I certainly do not expect her to do housework. I never said I did and I don't know why you all seem to think I do. And as for the nappy changing etc I've already said I don't really expect her to do that either. The original post was at least in part, meant in jest.

Have you read my post however, about halfway down, where dd is begging grandma to play with her and grandma is too busy reading the Fringe Festival guide? Trust me, my mother is not "Elderly" and would be horrified if anyone thought of her that way (she still goes to rock concerts for heaven's sake)! When given the choice between playing cards with her granddaughter and reading a catalogue, she chose the flipping catalogue! So I'm sorry if you all think I'm expecting too much but THAT is what pissed me off.

As for my dad, he is a great help. For the one or two weeks a year that he comes to visit. My parents live 3000 miles away and sometimes they come to visit together and sometimes mum comes on her own because she can take more time off work. So it's not as if I'm just expecting everyone to flock round and help me every minute of every day.

I do think sugarmag has a point. Obviously if her mother lives 3000 miles away the children do not see her too often, so it seems a shame that she is not making the most of her time with them. I mean fair enough about changing nappies etc, but playing snap and bathing the children should be fun.

Oh well, another visit is over anyway. All in all we had a good time but I wasn't entirely sorry to say goodbye. I do count myself lucky though because I know I wouldn't say that if we didn't already have another visit to look forward to in a few months time (but at least we're going there this time! )

whether I agree with the points you make or not, your original post was funny

Sugarmag, I can see where you're coming from. Your example of your mum ignoring repeated attempts by DD to start a game is really sad. It seems pretty clear that your Mum's priorities are screwed up and I would be angry with her in your place.

Maybe you could try talking to her or ask her to help e.g by entertaining DD while you cook. Is there any chance she hasn't realised she's having this effect?

This might be difficult but I have problems when my own Mum visits and I find that when I say nothing, the frustration builds up. Saying something to clear the air might help.