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I want another baby - My husband doesn't

28 replies

RachelDowning · 01/08/2005 13:12

Dear All
All advice gratefully received
Our son is 1 1/2.
I have wanted another child since Jack was two weeks old.
My husband & I both agreed that we both wanted two children.
But as a diabetic, I had a very difficult pregnancy and nearly died.

My husband says that he is not sure that he could go through it again, he couldn't bear to lose me.
Bless him - he is such a diamond.
I respect how he feels but it doesn't help that my desire for a second child is so strong.

The thought of not having a second child kills me.
My desire seems to come in 'waves' - my last 'wave' lasted from beg feb 05- end mar 05 !!!!
Sometimes I can't think about anything else.
Sometimes I am angry about it, sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it.
I often cry about it.

Eventually, I admitted my feelings to my post-natal mums and to all our surprsie - ( I talked to about 15 all in all) we all felt EXACTLY the same way.

My mum suggested that a hormonal desire,for another child, was very strong and that lots of people underestimated it or couldn't understand why they felt the way they felt.

As post natal mums, we spoke to our health visitor, and she agreed with my mum, saying hormones were often VERY STRONG.
She said that it didn't affect all people, but it was the reason behind alot of peoples feelings, and if most people accepted that, that helped them to understand how they were feeling.

I accept that alot of what I feel is hormonal, which explains why I want a second child so badly.
But it doesn't really help.
The thought of my husband never coming round to the idea, makes me even more sad.

What do I do ?

OP posts:
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hoxtonchick · 02/08/2005 21:16

hello rachel,
i'm the mumsnetter dinosaur referred to who has diabetes & has just had my second baby 5 weeks ago. it's bloody hard work having diabetes & being pregnant. i was incredibly anxious throughout both my pregnancies, & i have good control. you should definitely talk to your diabetes team - do they run a pre-conception clinic? hypos are so unpredictable in pregnancy. i think you just have to be incredibly obsessive about testing ALL the time, & basically eating all the time to keep your blood sugar up. means you put on an awful lot of weight though.... i so sympathise, it's such a PITA. it took us a year to conceive dd (our second, having conceived ds straight away), partly as a result of my diabetes & i found that very hard indeed.

i know dp found it very stressful too, so i sympathise with your dh. i do hope you can work things out.

RachD · 02/08/2005 21:38

Thank you so much hoxtonchick.
Please tell me more.
I am actually going up to Kings College Hospital tomorrow to speak to the pump specialist team.
Now is not really the time to talk to them about this issue, because we are still getting to grips with me on a pump, at the moment.
But I do feel so strongly about this, at the moment - obviously hormones are running wild, that I will say something.
I went onto a pump in mth 6 of pregnancy.
I tried really really hard. Was often testing every hour on the hour.
As I said, Prof ( the most experienced consultant in the country re pregnancy & insulin pump) said no reason why so bad last time, no guarantee for future.
Where am I supposed to go from there ?

RachD · 02/08/2005 21:49

Dear Countessdracula -
It hasn't happened yet.
I hope that changes very soon - I wish you every success.
So, from this, even taking into account what happened, - and when you say vascilliate - can I assume that both you and your husband thought yes/no/yes/no - you eventually decided to try.
What tipped the edge ?

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