Advice Please! I'm fed up of kids

[ScrewballMuppet]

I love my two ds's aged 3 and 4 to smitherines but I'm bored and fed up.
I do get breaks from them but ashamed to say it never sems to be enough. Even my dh does his fare share, although we disagree on discipline and I do think his methods are sometimes OTT.

I get this feeling from time to time but it generally passes. This time its lasting too long and its having a huge impact on my parenting.
I no longer keeping to a routine, play games with them, read them stories or make an effort with meals (try and get them to eat a variety of things through the day) and I'm also using the tv way too much for their entertainment, purely because (I know this is terrible but I'm being honest
I'm bored of constantly being that person: explaining everthing, sorting out squabbles so that they learn how to sort them out for themselves, making food they won't eat, being optimistic, giving them constant praise and limiting the no's, distracting, explaining why its wrong to do certain things and good to do others).
I'm fed up of the unbelievable stress at getting them ready on the morning in time for ds1 school,
having to see to them before me on the morning,
of hearing them cry yet again because one has hit the other,
fighting,
the not listening to me,
the attitude I get of ds1 (he's only four)
having to take them everywhere and always needing to be near toilets,
the bed wetting,
the accidents during the day(constant constant washing)
not being able to afford to get them the things I would like and having to get used to limited options,
having limited clothes for myself,
fed up of the whinging
whining
the 'I wants'
I'm fed up of them making a mess and getting into things they shouldn't be
being pulled and prodded,
my ears hurting because of the constant noise,
constantly having to be diplomatic and reasonable and problem solving and not being able to swear when they do something unbelievable like flooding the bathroom or decorating the walls with mud or sitting on a wet toilet seat thatthey've weed on and finding poo in the bathroom in weird places.

I realise I'm very lucky especially since we struggled to have them, I'm just plainly fed up of trying to be the best parennt I can be.
That sounds terrible and I certainly feel like a bad mum but it's all s repetitive I honestly can't be bothered.

I was tempted to use a different name as I'm sure I will be hung drawn and quartered and slated to the high heavens, I'm not proud of my feelings hence me asking for advice

i totally identify and only have one.

you're not a bad mum, you're a good one, you are honest and you care enough to worry that you're so down about it all.

nothing stays the same? is all i can offer.

when i've been where you are (happens periodically) something happens, sometime that makes it all seem a bit better for a bit...and then back to awful and so on...

you're amazing for your post tbh...well done!

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yay! someone like me... thank you for your honesty, screwball. I complained to dh today, in a more condensed form, to which he replied, "well, what exactly did you expect?" Hmmmm.

and, btw, as my dear neighbor says "it's a relatively short time." She's so down-to-earth from her lofty peak of 50-something.

Thanks you lot!!!
I didn't expect the responses I've had and they've helped to remind me of the obvious such as getting out and about and reassure me that I'm not on my own

QE I wish I was hallucinating - it would be of Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman or of laying on a deserted beach with only Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman to keep me company. It must be something I've done? Some of the fonts are different as in different fonts and larger

picnics is a reallly good tip i've done it four nights out of five last week...my most disheartening moment of the day is crawling round underneath ds's highchair wiping up the food that i've lovingly cooked and he's rejected....is just so depressing...

dearest sophable! i gave up with making nice meals long ago. so frustrating when they're not appreciated! I give mine fishfingers, cucumber & red pepper chunks or greek yogurt mixed with rolled oats, apple slices, raisins & honey. bunch of fusspots!!!!

Crossed posts. Rickman that makes two of us I've been a complete cow for weeks...why don't you come and join me on my deserted beach with Brad pitt and Hugh jackman Seriously though, I don't know your situation but would definately reccommend getting out somewhere with the kids....I've been on many threads that you've posted on and have no recollection of you ever not being nice.

Hakunamata (love your name btw). Love the realistic but not very helpful response from your dh lol

Sophable eating outside sounds fantstic no needing to wash the floor afterwards maybe just a quick sweep which I could get the kids to do. Crawling around underneath a highchair is a very familiar memory, I've tried all those bibs that sre meant to catch the food...but never did.

that's dh in a nutshell... realistic but unhelpful.

lol

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On your own with 4 kids and no car you poor woman! You deserve a medal especially since your still co herent, I'll put out the super deluxe sun lounger on the deserted beach for you with a double of whatever you like.
As for the namechanger theres always someone.

SBMuppet - completely identify. I have 3 - ages 7, 4 & 2 - plus 28 wks preg. My littlest one has just entered the zone for difficult times. My 4 year old is just becoming more reasonable. Some days are so hard and I feel so tired. I have no family nearby to help & my dh, who is fantastic, works long hours in the week. Best wishes xxx

depression can be over-diagnosed now but i think what isn't is how many people (who aren't depressed) feel like thislots or at least some of the time? surely? I am not depressed but i have days (sometimes on end) when i just want to walk out of parentingplease tell me it's not just a handful of us here? you can't know what it's like before you start, and you can't get out of it! And the irony is the breaks i do get (a monthly starbucks or a haircut) i miss their little faces so much by the time i've finished my muffin i want to rush home.

I have times when I feel the same way, I know it isn't depression as I have had deperession before and it is different. When dp comes home from work I get straight into the bath and he takes over with dd as I have had my fill of motherhood. I am lucky that dd stays with her dad at weekends so we get a break and a chance to be ourselves.

If you'd have changed your name for the first post, i would have seriously worried that id written it and forgotten.

This is why I go to work... Love my two (6 and 4), but there is just no way I could stay at home with them all day, and stay sane.

Always felt happier having a nanny who actually chose (and goes on choosing ) to spend all her time with children - and goes home to her own life in the evenings. My dh has been SAHD for the last 7 months, and I've watched his energy levels go up and down as his mood changes. I think that staying at home, and always being responsible is a very tough brief.

I work very hard, but although my team relies on me it's just not the same as children! I'm sure part of this is that I have completely unattainable expectations of myself as a mother - I felt I should do all the cooking everything from scratch, arts and crafts, clubs etc when I was on maternity leave. At work I know what is reasonable for me to get done, and if I don't quite manage it all, well I can always go home, knowing that it's not that big a deal.

btw I don't have lunch breaks - although I know this is my fault entirely..

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