Anyone speak Dutch??

[mawbroon]

I just don't know what to do about this one......

My DH is half Dutch/British and is native in both languages. His mother is the same and lives close to us. I have learned some Dutch, but am by no means fluent.

We are expecting our first baby in October and I really don't know what to do about languages.

On the one hand - we are highly unlikely to ever go and live in Holland. All DHs Dutch relations speak perfect English. Dutch is not the most useful of foreign languages (no offence).

On the other hand - DH is half Dutch and has lived there on and off for half his life. It is very much part of our baby's background and we don't just want it to come to an end with this generation.

My SIL has opted not to introduce any Dutch at all because she doesn't see the point, but she spent a lot less time in Holland than my DH did and feels little connection to Holland now. Saying that, my MIL does sing my neice some Dutch nursery rhymes etc.

So, I am just not sure whether it would just confuse the issue or not.

ANY ADVICE GRATEFULLY RECEIVED!!!

Thank you

Always good to have another language under your belt as it were, I say bring baby up speaking both, it'll make learning other languages easier for them as well.

My friend is Dutch and both her children are fluent in both Dutch and English. They are 7 anfd 5. Her dh is English, so she speaks to them in Dutch and he in English. Friend is also fluent in English though so mostly English is spoken at home, but they holiday a lot in Holland so it is useful for the children to know Dutch, both as their heritage and to be able to speak to Dutch friends/relatives whilst on holiday. The children don't seem at all confused by learning two languages.

In your situation I would bring up baby to be fluent in both languages. Why not?

Your baby will have a headstart over most of us - being fluent in 2 languages - and may one day want to explore his/her Dutch heritage. That'd be a lot easier with knowing the language.

My dh's mum is Dutch, and his dad English. All her family are still in Holland, and they visit often.
She didn't speak/teach dh Dutch as a child, as they were living in England, and she didn't think it was worth it, but dh really regrets missing the chance to speak 2 languages. He does understand quite a bit of spoken Dutch (spent a lot of time with his Dutch oma as a child), but can't speak any.

I think it would be a real missed opportunity. Being bilingual is supposed to enhance children's development in ways far beyond simple language skills. I'm sure there are studies out there that prove it! I would say go for it if you can.

Almost identical situation, mawbroon, but we're a little further down the road, with a 5-yr-old son and a 2-yr-old daughter. Dh speaks to the kids in Dutch (we're not to be bothered by the relative uselessness of the language) and I speak English. The kids understand Dutch well enough but don't speak it. Their lack of proficiency is due, I think, to the fact that dh has the kind of job that makes him essentially a weekend dad. In addition, we've spent huge chunks of time apart (i.e. on dif. continents) over the last two years.

I want to believe that even their limited Dutch will have some benefit in later years. I'd encourage your dh to speak to your child in Dutch. It can't harm.

Thanks for all your comments ladies. I think the general concensus is that we should just go for it and try. It is really up to DH and MIL as they are the ones who will have to remember to speak Dutch all the time! I am also hoping that it might improve my Dutch at the same time as I would find it strange that my child was saying stuff that I didn't understand (other than the normal baby babble of course!)

Baby is due in October, so won't be able to update you until well after then! Cheers MB

mawbroonI gather your MIL is half English & lives near you in England. My MIL is effectively half English (she's fully Dutch, but married an Englishman after her 1st husband died) and she, too, lives in England. Very, very weirdly, she refuses to speak to the children in Dutch, though we've pleaded with her to do so. She doesn't make her reasons clear, but I think she likes to be in control, and doesn't like to be asked to do something if she hasn't had the idea first. I'll be curious to hear how committed your MIL is about speaking to yr child in Dutch, or if she, too, will favour English. SIL, on the other hand, is incredibly consistent about speaking Dutch to the kidsand I'm really grateful for that.

As for whether or not it will improve your Dutch. . .I found that Dh's speaking to the children in Dutch improved my own Dutch immensely. That's because when the kids were babies, he spoke to them extremely simply, pointing things out, using nouns, and expanded gradually on that simple foundation, so the kids were basically on my level. . and now I pretty much understand everything dh says to the kids. He speaks with a certain slowness & clarity that's perfect for my level. . .but when I hear 2 adults converse I have a bit more trouble.

As for the Dutch not being a useful language. . .maybe not, but I found it incredibly useful when 2 young Dutchman working at an airport McDonalds were taking the p*ss. They turned pale when I responded in perfect Dutch & made them feel like fools. I think the Dutch take it for granted (wrongly!) that no one else would ever bother learning their language!

i am teaching my DD dutch so she can talk with my family mostly. my dad's english is pretty good, but my mum and gran have real trouble. also, if we ever move to belgium to be closer to my family, she'll already speak (and hopefully read & write) it. my DH (a brit) learnt a quite a lot of dutch with this online course and just hearing it speak when we went on a family visit.

hth at all

Expat - I haven't really asked my MIL about it yet as we are still undecided. I really don't think it can do any harm though. At the most, it might confuse the child a little until they get to grips with the fact that not everybody can understand both languages, but I think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. MIL lives 15 mins away from us and would have pretty regular contact. Both she and DH were brought up between Scotland and Holland with one parent Dutch and the other Scottish, and they have turned out ok!!

I had a similar experience re some older dutch people in a museum in London tutting in Dutch aboutt me and my sister for using the lift when we could have used the stairs! We were only using the lift because I couldn't find the stairs after looking for 10 mins!! I wasn't brave enough to say anything to them though, but you are right, they just don't think that anyone else understands!

Lila - I also don't know what to do about reading and writing in Dutch, but hey, don't need to worry about that for about another five years!!! I learned the Dutch that I do know from a book called the Hugo method. I had a book and tape, but DH told me not to use the tape because the woman heeft een aardappel in haar keel

Thanks for your help

only the double variety

We live in HOlland and my dh is Dutch. We had so many disagreements over this, basically because he wanted me to talk Dutch to our sone, which I refused to do. my DH had it in his head that it would confuse him.

Our son is 2 and I speak only Engish to him and my dh only Dutch. It is incredible how easily they adapt and he can switch bak and forwards depending on whether he's speaking to mummy or "papa". It is useful to have another language, and to be fair if you can speak Dutch well, it isn't such a leap to be able to understand and ultimately speak German as they are very similar in many resepcts, so yes - I thin kit is definitely useful.

I have a friend who is a child psychologist (sp?) and she has told me that small children can cope with up to 4 languages at the same time, as long as they are kept seperate.

I wish you luck

Klara

Thanks Klara. I know that if I were to be the english speaker abroad, I would insist on speaking English to my baby as (s)he would pick up the language of the country from outside the house, but it is a bit more difficult with the foreign language just coming from DH and MIL. Still undecided, but leaning towards going for it!

Hi Mawbroon,

Definitely try and go for both languages. I am Dutch and dh is from NZ so only speaks English but I always speak in Dutch to DS. He's only 12 months so he's not actually speaking yet but it will be great once he does.

As others have said before me, children pick up languages without any problems as long as they are kept seperate, ie. dad Dutch, mum Englsh in your case. That way the child will know that there are different ways to speak to different people.

I agree that Dutch is not the most useful languages of all but having studied several languages myself I want to repeat the point someone alse made earlier: once you know a second langauge it is so much easier to learn another one. You have a better understanding of structures and patterns and you are also more aware of how vocabulary in various languages links up. As said German is very close to Dutch but don't forget Afrikaans and I can even pick out quite a lot of words when I see Scandinavian languages written down.

It would be fantastic if Oma decides to speak Dutch as well as then the language will seem more useful when your baby is a bit older. Many youg bilingual children go through a phase of not wanting to speak their 'minor' language since none of their friends speak it and they think it's not cool. Even better would be to get to know someone Dutch with small children so they get exposed to the language that way too. In London there is a Dutch church that does mum and baby/toddler mornings but you might not be anywhere near that. I am in Farnborough, Hants and would gladly meet up so my children ( ds=12 months and DB due in Jan 06) can babble in Dutch with yours I also know various other Dutch parents around the country who would gladly meet up with you I'm sure.

Ahhh... Another huge post. Sorry - i just feel quite strongly about this as languages are very important to me (I'm a translator...)

Hi Eshay

Thanks for your reply and your offer to meet up. Unfortunately you are rather far away as I live near Edinburgh! however, I hadn't really thought about contacting other Dutch speakers to see if there is some sort of mother/toddler group that I could go to. It would help my Dutch too and I could bribe them all with my homemade boterkoek

Edinburgh is a bit far, I agree. But I'm sure there are some Dutchies around there. Good luck with it all.

I'm not Dutch but I lived in NL for 8 years and so am quite proficient at speaking the language. I've been back here for 2 years now but still keep up contact with Dutch friends, in Dutch! I am hoping to teach ds some of the language as I have heard that it facilitates the learning of other languages ... however I hope he doesn't learn it with my sometimes failing accent (I can't say buren for example!) but that he will pick these words up from friends who visit/i visit so he can say them properly!!

I'll definitely be reading Jip en Janneke to him as they were essential in my learning of the language!!

hello, I am Dutch. So I speak, read and write in Dutch. I just moved to England 2 months ago with my Dutch husband and two kids. What are you looking for? Hope to hear from you soon. I am also trying to get in touch with other Dutch Families, I have a son of 9 years old and a daughter of 6 years old.Thank you.
Goedendag.

hi, where do you live? I'm Dutch and live in the Midlands.

Nice to meet you! I live in Kent.
When did you moved to the UK?

Hi,
I'm Dutch, just moved to Orpington with my 17-month old daughter and french husband. We recently returned to the UK after having spent a couple of years in France. I speak Dutch to my daughter but as she goes to nursery 5 days a week, I'm not sure how much will stick... My mum has already supplied me with some Jip & Janneke and Nijntje books. I'll be happy if my daughter grows up understanding dutch even if she can not speak the language

Hi, I am Dutch too. We, Norwegian husband, son (2y in December), and baba-to-be (38w) live near Cambridge. Mimie, I am having same doubts: son goes to nursery 5 days/week, and speaks with Cambs accent, and I am worried how much of my Dutch (we also try Dutch books, DikkieDik etc) will stick. He knows 'pindakaas', which I guess for survival instincts is a good one to have.... at least he will have something to eat.

interesting honneybunny. I'm Dutch but my mum was Norwegian! I'm not too bothreted about teching them Dutch as more keen for them to learn their dad's language. He isn't very good at it though....

Hi, I'm Dutch too.My mother wasn't, and to be honest I think if your husnand grew up here, it makes more sense for him too speak English with your children.
If the family in Holland speaks English, there won't be a communication problem.
My children don't speak my mothere's language, but do speak mine (Dutch) , their fathers (Italian), and English.
If you are very keen for them to learn some Dutch: the Ivio (wereldschool) do a course Dutch as a foreign language, for children.Otherwise there's the Dutch language school in Cambridge for their gcse's.... if they still exist when your children are that age!
Good luck!

A friend of mine has a dd who speaks English, Swedish and Thai without any difficulty whatsoever, her mum is Thai but lived in Sweden for a long time, dad is English but also lived in Sweden for a long time. Makes it rather hard work for me to keep up with her admittedly as I only speak basic Swedish and no Thai.

I'd say definitely go for it, it won't do your little one any harm, and you never know, if he/she decides to live in the Netherlands in the future, he/she will certainly find it useful. More and more now I am seeing contracts in the Netherlands advertised as "Dutch speaker only" - can understand why it must be highly irritating for an entire project team to have to speak in English for the sake of one person! (Fortunately whenever I've been working over there, the majority of the team has been non-Dutch so English was the only common language, phew).

rianna, interesting: dutch language school in cambridge! i am going to find out more about that, as we live just outside cambridge.