Calling all parents: Please Help Me; Opinions on Childrens diets for research ass please!!!!with cherry on top!!!!

[foxd]

I have a research ass due in on mon so furiously typing away this weekend to get it completed.

My research question has been: What are the factors preventing children eating balanced diets? and What can be realistically acheived taking into consideration modern lifestyles?

Pleae could you spare a few minutes and give your opinion and points of view that anyone has about this topic.
Also have just read an article from the Daily mail archives stating that in a poll 80% of readers believed parents were responsible for the rising childhood obesity epidemic? does anyone have any points of view regarding this?

It would be much appreciated and I promise to buy every one a drink who posts a message, in the 'Come into my bar' thread tonite.

Just one thing beansontoast.... I am puzzled by how the 'don't use food as a treat' thing is supposed to work. I mean,it is a massive treat to me to have a great bottle of wine,or an extra special meal at the w/end.

Or maybe,the problem is too many treats for kids?

In my case what has led to unhealthy eating in the past is 2 things:

1. Undermining from other people - granny, au-pairs. If people who the kids spend a lot of time with are feeding them processed shite, they get the taste for it and are more likely to want it and expect it.

2. I think we are born with an instinctive urge to feed our children and in the household I was brought up in, it was considered a cardinal sin to throw food away. So I fell into the trap of giving the kids crap (for about six months) regularly (two or three times a week) just because "well at least they'll eat it". Over-riding that basic instinct to see the children fed, plus the cultural back-up of being outraged by wasting food, is incredibly difficult. I think parents need to be re-educated to know that sending your child to bed hungry is better than sending him to bed with a belly full of shite, even if that means for a month solid he eats sod all. I'm still trying to educate myself to accept that - rationally, I know it, but emotionally, I can't help feeling quite panicky and desperate after about 10 days!

ditto all so far
also, lots of us have a deep attachment to food that goes way beyond hunger = eat. eg when I'm depressed I always reach for the high fat, chocolate laden stuff. Recently my son was put on a low salt low sugar diet for a while and I was amazed how gutted I was by the no sugar part on his behalf - way more than necessary as he's always loved fruit and healthy snacks anyway. I realsied that I use food for him as reward, conforters etc as well. With my second son, I find myself giving him a biscuit instead of attention sometimes when he's whinging.
So another factor for me would be psychological attachment to food as a replacement of love and comfort

I do think that parents need to hold the majority of the blame, as we do the shopping, make the meals and serve them up.

I think jarred babyfood is where it starts to go wrong as they do not taste like real food. THis isn't a poverty, financial factor either as it is far cheaper to blend your own food. It also means that from day one you are in control of what your child eats.

I also think parnents need to say no and be firm, they will give up perstering if you stick to your guns and offer them a tastier alternative.

Time is a big factor, if you get kids involved in the growing, shopping and preparing of food they will eat it. And as a bonus home made good food tends to be more interesting to make than lets bung some fish fingers under the grill.

Bob the builder, Tweenie food and the rest, it just shouldn't be allowed, full stop.

Cafe's annoy me beyond belief, why is a chidren's menu always something and chips??? I am always discussing with my dp about opening a cafe cooking proper meals for children.

Finally education, many people do think they are giving their kids a healthy diet when they are just not. Yogurts being the prime culprit, as a I think moondog said many are full of sugar and god knows what else but many parents feed their very young children, or babies endless amounts of them thinking that it is healthy.

Agree tsap. (Morocco and Caligula,your views are very interesting.)
I use the rule 'Would I eat it?' when deciding what to feed my kids.Baby food! Vomit in a sealed jar. I was watching a friend the other day ramming something vile like a chicken casserole dinner (ie bits of 30 different chickens) into her baby,followed by some pudding and finished off with a bottle.

I felt sick watching it,and if his older sister is anything to go by,he is being prepared for a life of eating crap,and expecting something sweet as a 'reward' after his food.

Oh please!!!
I know know how lovely it would be to live in an ideal world and be able to make their babies meals from fresh all day every day. If I was at home all day I would probably have the time too. But I don't. I am a mum who works full time. When I was on maternity leave I used to do all the pureeing and mashing of meals but in reality it is sometimes impossible.
Yes I did have baby jars (so shoot me down and call me a bad mother) - but I also did make "proper" food when I had the time - IF I had the time.
DD is now 2.5 and is a VERY healthy little girl who loves her fruit and vegetables and yes I do now make more home cooked meals but yes I also have some ready made meals for those moments when time is short (but I stay well clear of potato faces, chicken nuggets etc).
Her meals ARE balanced she doesn't eat many crisps and doesn't like sweet things unless it is fruit or similar.
I do agree it is the parents responsibility first and foremost but I certainly do not think I have set my child up for a life of eatng crap.

Don't think anyone here is that po faced ohplease.
Nothing wrong with a bit of crap every now and again. 'every now and again' being the operative words.

Who said giving jars makes someone a bad mother?

The thing is ohplease not everyone has a sensible idea of what 'every now and then' means.

Like you I gave my kids bottled baby food. I also cooked fresh stuff for them, just as you have.

I work in a secondary school and see children who cannot eat with a knife and fork, because they only ever eat junk food at home that is eaten with their fingers. they have table manners that would shame a 4 year old. They have no idea how to sit and enjoy their food, because no-one has ever bothered to sit down and eat with them.

Their breakfast consist of a mars bar and a coke. They will chose to eat crap in school, even though the dinner ladies make good wholesome stuff.

Like you I give my kids the odd treat. they eat some junk, they have biscuits and even, dare I say it sweets. But like you rkids they also know a good meal when it is put in front of them.

No-one is saying that you have to be a whole food nazi over this. It is just that some kids eat crap all the time! Trust me, I teach them.

Cant be bothered and a lack of education a lot of the time. Nothing wrong with balancing it out but homemade pizza takes as long to make as to order, is a fraction of the price and far tastier than takeaway.
Expectations too count a lot too. Parents dont expect their kids to eat certain foods so dont make much of an effort with them.

A varied diet needs to be introduced and kept up from the first bits of weaning.

I never understand people who say their kids wont drink water. How can they prefer juice unless it's given to them??

YEs, agree with HMB. I always make sure ds has a decent breakfast and decent packed lunch as kids who feed on crap in the day or skip breakfast lack concentration and cant focus properly.

Lots of kids only drink fizzy stuff, biscuits, chocolate during the day.

That's fine I know what your saying but surely that's lifeand applies to more issues than just food. Kids come from all walks of like and unfortunatley not good ones (I know I work with them day in day out). Sorry but it is life. there are more important issues to get worked up over with kids than food.

In my opinion. Sorry but I feel so strongly about other issues that kids deal with these days that I would rather devote my time to sorting those out than what food they are eating. That is the least of some of their worries.

I do apologise but my job really upsets me some days and I wish I olny had education of nutrition to deal with - that would be lovely.

One of the most annoying things my mother has ever done, is first, introduced my DS to tea, and as if that wasn't enough, put sugar in it.

I'm trying to wean him off the sugar bit, but it's a long hard slog. It really doesn't help parents when relatives/ carers sabotage you like this. Telling her that milk or water is quite sufficient elicits a "you're so selfish you begrudge your kids nice food and drink" look.

Drives me nuts.

But poor diet does account for a lot of problems. How can you say it doesnt?? Decent food will aid concentration and a childs ability to achieve. How can that not be worth investing in?

I also work with kids all day and no one is saying that is the only problem and nothing else should be looked at.

But opbh, the fact that kids are eating crap has knock on effects for all other important aspects of their behaviour and development - it's absolutely a basic starting point. Their concentration in school is lower, so they are more likely to be badly behaved, they're less likely to pay attention, understand and acheive, and more likely to get into fights. Add to that the long term health problems, and I don't think you can possibly argue that food is a trivial issue. I personally believe it's probably at the base of an awful lot of behavioural and educational problems kids have.

Yes hercules. You've got to start with the basics and that means good food,a stable and loving home life and exercise, imho.

Absolutely, moondog.

Oh ditto! That way I'd have more to concentrate on when one of the little darlings telss me to fuck off.

One thing is for sure.

The kids that I can just manage to work with in the morning who have ADHD, can be utterly off the plot in the afternoon when they have lunched off cheese and chips, sweets and blue Panda pops.

I'm not saying that a good diet is a panacea for all our ills, but it is a start. I have worked will kids who will refuse to touch a raw cut potato because ,'It is gross'. They have never made food from scratch. That isn't poverty, it is lack of direction. Pre-prepared food isn't cheap, itsn't good for you and often tasts like crap. Don't you think that our kids deserve, and need , better?

We should be talking about helping people to do better by their kids, not castigating them, but you can't pretend that this isn't a probelm, because it is.

ohpleasebehonest, food is the fuel children/adults use to do good/bad things. More good food equals more good things, IMO. It's basic. Very basic.

I had a child in my tutor group sitting near me when I was eating some raisins so I offered him some. He ate them and said they were really nice but asked where the raisin bit was. He thought it was like a sweet with a raisin thing inside it! HE was 15.

Hercules, that's scary.

hmb...wow at the potato thing..

It was me who raised the baby food, I didn't say giving your kids jars of food makes you a bad mother but I do think it isn't the best start and thet just don't taste like real food, so you wean your child onto strange puree and then have to get them used to eating real food a few months down the line.

I didn't feed my daughter like this to be smug or superior or in an attempt to fulfill the role of a food nazi I was a single mother living on benefits with a baby with a huge appetite. I couldn't afford baby jars.

I will hold my hand up to being a SAHM but when dd was a baby I used to do her meals in a batch one night a week, so Iwasn't doing it all day. Just boill up a few veggies and mash and freeze in ice cubes or freezer bags. Or I would puree what I was eating before it was seasoned. Just another thirty seconds added onto your meal time
.

I haven't said that food is a trivial issue - it is important- it is just not a priority for me over abuse and neglect. How do you tell parents that leave their kids for days at a time that they must feed them properly? I am looking at a case at the moment of a child who was left for three days in a flat whilst the parents went out on a binge. try telling that child not to eat the 6 pack of penguins in the cupboard or the bonio biscuits for the dog as he won't be able to concentrate at school. What does he care? These family's don't know what being a parent is never mind nutrition.
Nutrition is very important for kids who come from average family's but not for most. these type of people have never so much as chopped a carrot let alone cooked one. When I asked a child once where potatoes came from he said "the supermarket".

Sorry - just having a bad couple of days. Not going to post on here anymore as I know I'm probably wrong - just letting of some steam.

But you are talking about extreme cases of neglet. We are talking about the average family. I teach in a large comp and a huge proportion of kids eat crap.