Nice guy always seems to come last...

[griffy]

Is it only me, or are parents not giving a damn any more about teaching their kids to take turns/share/generally be polite?

I am getting really sick of being in situations where I pull DS (2.3) back from 'pushing in' - telling him: "no, wait your turn", only for him to be elbowed out of the way time and time again by other kids whose parents are standing right there, but not policing their children's behaviour.

I know that they have - to a certain extent - to sort things out for themselves, but I really can't leave them to get on in a "Lord of the Flies" sort of way at that age. I also want my son to grow up with at least some sense of concern for others, and sense of wider responsibility. I just feel so sorry for him when he looks at me - completely bewildered - wondering why he's got these rules which others don't seem to abide by at all. and he seems to miss out through them.

Similarly, I got a bit annoyed at a friend's house last week, when her son (same age) would not share his toys at all, just snatched everything from my DS's grasp - and his mum did NOTHING. Every now and again, she's weakly say "Oh, please share...", but didn't do anything to reinforce it. When they visit our house, I tell my son he has to share or take turns, and if there are special toys that I know he won't want to share, I put them away before the visitors arrive.

On the way home from the friend's house, DS was quite upset - saying: "mummy, XXX wouldn't share his toys", and all I could think of to say was "I know - it wasn't very nice of him".

Anyway, behind all this is this awful feeling that I'm teaching my son to be a doormat, and that he should stand by and let others walk all over him. Please tell me I'm not in the wrong here...?

Happens to me to - I always end up with extra kids at the park or soft play centre, although it has lessened as my kids have got older (I'm now the one who can sit with the coffee & have a natter). Strangely enough, I also seem to end up with the lonely adults at parties & pubs. Must have that kind of face.

BTW, it also makes me a bit uncomfortable & definately annoyed. I'm annoyed because I spend time talking with/looking after/playing with my kids when I'd rather do other things, & don't see why I should have to look after someone elses cause they can't be bothered, and uncomfortable because I feel guilty as the kids obviously don't get enough attention from their parents.

Also, this is NOT the same as the chatty friendly kid coming over to join in the fun. Both kids and parents are different IFYSIM. In this instance I can usually spot the parent as they will be watching the child like a hawk ready to remove them if they get annoying. I don't have any problems with them at all (and we seem to get a lot of those as well )

www, it still makes me cross just thinking about it!!

funny no ones mentioned sandpits yet ( have they?) - ime the focus of playground problems. The roundabourt comes a close second.

Interesting thread. will come back to this later.