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Original poster

Leaving my 3 months baby for a week to my parents? is it realistic ?

69 replies

MamanFlo · 08/03/2005 15:26

Hello mums !

I might have to leave my 3 months old baby for a week to my parents (I trust them 200%).
What my baby will feel ? Is this that bad ?
How would you cope as a mum ?

thanks for your opinion....

Flo

OP posts:

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Marina · 09/03/2005 13:19

Wait and see how you feel when the baby is born. Everyone is different but the idea of leaving either of mine at that age for a week to go on holiday halfway round the world is not my bag AT ALL.
Oh, and by the way, it's rather different from having to return to work for financial reasons and leaving your baby in daycare...I still saw mine morning and evening and all weekend. And could leave them expressed milk.
A romantic trip to India surely needs more than a week anyway?

throckenholt · 09/03/2005 13:31

not got time to read the rest of the thread - so will answer the initial question.

As long as you are not breastfeeding and your parents are up to looking after a 3 month old baby she will be fine.

You might find you miss her terribly and not enjoy the holiday - only you can judge that.

loudmum · 09/03/2005 13:32

personally I could not do this- and even now my DS is 5 and DD nearly 2 I could not even think about that much time away from them... but if you could do it, your bub will be fine

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Dalesgirl · 09/03/2005 13:38

Cod, I think you look for the conversations where you can be as argumentative as you can be...very amusing.

Mamamflo - I wouldn't book anything just yet. I had a 12 hour day away from my ds when he was 4 months old and although I had a good time I was definately distracted. Also, I was breastfeeding at the time so condequently by the end of the day my boobs were very painful and the size of prize marrows and I leaked milk all over the place!! Not very attractive.

It's essential to have time away from your kids but sometimes the practicality makes that difficult. Try a day away first and then take a second look at India. (Of course, I am jealous. My long haul trips will have to wait. DS 1 is 3.5 and 2nd baby due in July! )

jane313 · 09/03/2005 13:43

I went out for my first eveing out when my son was 3 months had a great time and got very drunk,(was pumping and dumping), decided high heels were not comfortable and horrified the group of women without children and gay men I was with when I told them I was leaking. I could not have imagined leaving him for a week; even though I could have done with the break. I have no one to leave him with though so that must make a difference.

You could have a clingy baby though. Mine would go off with anyone but a few people I know at three months their babies would scream if not held by them.

amynnixmum · 09/03/2005 13:49

I didn't realise that you hadn't had the baby yet mamanflo. I agree with the others that you should wait until after the baby is born and see how you feel then. However much you love your baby now its nothing compared to how you'll feel when its born.

hatsoff · 09/03/2005 13:49

just another thought - don't go for any other reason than wanting to - what I mean is (if you're a bit like me) there might be an element of feeling pressured into going in order to prove (heaven knows who to)that you're a certain kind of mum who still has a life etc. Personally I feel a certain pressure in this direction - or, perhaps more accurately, I imagine it. And pressure to be a certain way (whether it's to be an attached at the hip mum or a globe-trotting mum)is the last thing in the world any mum needs. You do it your way. FWIW (and having said what I just said, that's not a lot) you might find that taking the baby with you is the best way. If you have a good experience of the first few weeks you might find that your love as parents for your baby is itself incredibly romantic. I fell in love with dh all over again when dd1 was born. There is something so special about sharing a feeling of total devotion. In a funny sort of way going away with the baby might have more of the effect of "returning to normal" than going without him or her, part of the process of re-identifying yourself, of bonding as a family, and working out that life - including travel - carries on. your little dd or ds will always be part of "normal" life. I have no idea if that makes sense, but it kind of does to me.

Original poster

MamanFlo · 11/03/2005 12:16

Many thanks for your views on this forum - It really helped me sorting out the question. I simply decided to wait and see until the baby is born. Even if it could cost me more I can always wait until june to book a plane ticket. At the end of the day, I think it is unlikely I will go and for the following reasons :

I am really not happy about switching to bottlefeeding too soon (even if I can actually freeze my milk)
baby will certainly be the centre of our world and India might look a bit superfluous
going away for a week to india is ridiculous...I'd rather stay at least 2 weeks there.

I'd rather plan a week holiday with my DD and DH in a safe place and enjoy travelling and being a mum.

I still can't wait to be a mum !

Flo

OP posts:

Enid · 11/03/2005 12:56

Oh good, so glad you've come to this (IMO right) decision!

Cam · 11/03/2005 14:07

If it helps at all, MamanFlo, my brother persuaded my SIL to go away for a week when their dd was a very young baby, leaving her with my parents. SIL spent every evening phoning my mother because she missed the baby so much.
Also, even though (of course) my parents looked after the baby beautifully they found it very hard work because of the irregular hours and the responsibility. And my bro and SIL only went to Scotland.

Marina · 11/03/2005 14:09

Wonderful news Flo, very best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Like Enid and Cam, I feel instinctively that you have made the right decision for now.

morningpaper · 11/03/2005 14:13

I think you've made the right decision! My dd is 2.5 and I have still not left her for more than one night because I would miss her like fury.

HappyMumof2 · 11/03/2005 14:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster

MamanFlo · 14/03/2005 10:10

There is a nice twist to it ! DH has to go to India anyway for his job, and has never been before...I am allowing him to stay a week more to visit with a couple of friends, and I will be staying with DD...since then DH is very interested in Indian cuisine (before that he thought it was too fatty so we never went) . I am delighted by that ...we had curry twice this week end !

OP posts:

bodenmum · 30/03/2005 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geranium · 30/03/2005 11:42

Decision made anyway but just one further thought. Mamanflo = you talk about a relaxing week away in India. I love India dearly (and half Indian and go almost every year) but I would never call it a relaxing place to go - stimulating, fascinating, thought-provoking, exasperating maybe but not relaxing !

Cod · 30/03/2005 12:16

Message withdrawn

piffle · 30/03/2005 12:25

cod you shocker you

bodenmum · 30/03/2005 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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