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Original poster

How long can I defer potty training ? How late did you leave it ?

55 replies

NomDePlume · 08/03/2005 14:16

My DD is 2y 7m and is still in nappies. I've made several attempts at beginning PT to no avail. She loves sitting on the potty etc but just doesn't seem to know she needs a wee until she's done it, which is soooooooooo frustrating when you've sat her on the potty 3 minutes previously. I've now decided that she obviously isn't ready yet and to give it another go in a couple of months. This will be the 3rd time I have postponed PT (2y, 2y4m & 2y6m)

I'm quite relaxed about this but I do get looks of vague horror from checkout girls and random members of the public when I buy bigger nappies or someone asks me ('Is she still in nappies?!') and I tell them that she is. My DD is as tall as her almost 4 year old nursery peers and has very good language skills, all of which make her appear older than her 2 years 7 months.

How long can I leave it before I really have to put my foot down with the potty training ?

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Socci · 08/03/2005 19:13

Message withdrawn

mamadadawahwah · 08/03/2005 19:19

the only real incentive to get my son out of nappies is the cost. What is his incentive?? Maybe nappies feel nice, maybe we have to make sure that the experience provides real positives for our kids, i.e. treats when they poo or fancy underpants. I dont know. I am not that worried. Its not like its going to affect his brain if he is still in nappies at three. They grow up so fast already, I dont want to force him. Though it would be nice to not have to change poo twice a day! At the end of the day, they WILL start using the loo so why worry?

RudyDudy · 08/03/2005 19:28

How happy am I to read this thread?! A friend of mine with a DD the same age as my DS (16mo) has just been asked by her childminder to get her a potty so she can get used to it being around. I know she's not suggesting training her yet but I was quite shocked about this. Will happily put it out of my mind for at least 12 months now

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kama · 08/03/2005 19:35

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mamadadawahwah · 08/03/2005 20:47

I second dat!

Eulalia · 09/03/2005 09:23

I didn't toilet train ds till he was 3.5 after several attemps. He has autism and is developmentally delayed. It didn't make any difference and he trained probably in a normal time. It really doesn't matter what age your child is you thye have to be showing signs of readiness. I'd leave it till the warmer weather and let her run aroudn with no pants on. That worked with both of mine. dd was the opposite and wanted to train herself at just past 2 but I still had to do the bare bottom bit for a few weeks. Good luck.

Harrizeb · 09/03/2005 11:15

Hi,

My DS is 22mths and tells us Potty toyit when he is doing a poo, but will not sit on the potty if he doesn't have his nappy on cause it's chilly and he's a woose i was feeling pressured by well meaning friends and family about getting him potty trained but not sure I can stand the running round clearing up the mess after him . Think I'll leave it a bit longer, reading this. I did quite like a couple of ideas I'd read - put food colouring in the toilet and then when they wee it changes colour and use cheerios for target practise for boys when they stand up or confetti or something flushable (I can just see DS trying to fish the Cheerios out and eating them as they are his fav food though )

webmum · 09/03/2005 12:59

NDP

I had the same problem as you, dd1 is was born on may and starting school in sept so i really wanted to have out of nappies by then.

we did only about 6 weeks, because, she was wetting the bed at night, (even WITH nappy on) so fed up with nappy-pjs changing at night (as well as feeding baby twice), I asked her if she wanted to go on the potty before going to bed so she wouldn't wet herself, and to my huge surprise she did! As we were about to go on holiday to see her grannies, I asked if she would ditch the nappies for those two weeks and I'd buy her a big present (mind you bribery never worked before), but she said yes, and there have been very few accidents since then. WE went out and bought some special knickers (she chose them).

She did ask to wear nappies again when we got home from our holiday to go to nursery, but I refused and after a couple of tantrums she stopped asking.

I was going to leave ituntil the summer but when I was this opportunity I grabbed it. If I were you I would wait until the summer, but try to spot any signs that you might persuade her. I knew she could do it, as she had done it before (lasts ummer) but for her it was a psychological thing.

Good luck!

shimmy21 · 09/03/2005 13:12

I think my ds1 was 2.8 and looking back we did it far too early (due to pressure of starting him at a pre-school that needed them to be trained0. We had many accidents for at least 6 months and wet nights for well more than a year after.

Just thought - both my dss were happiest to go straight on to a grown up loo (with a child's seat) because they loved doing it like 'big boys'. They hated the potty and neither ever wanted to sit on it. I've kind of decided that potties actually complicate the whole business because first you learn to do it in one place and then have to start all over again on the big loo. Lots and lots of bribery helped too

FairyMum · 09/03/2005 13:13

I never trained. Just waited until they went to the potty/toilet by themselves. DS1 around 3 years. I am very lazy,)

cara5776 · 09/03/2005 14:12

hi my stepson is now being potty trained he is now 2 years old. He already wont wee in his nappy and if he has a nappy on asks to use his potty. The only thing he wont do is sit on the potty to have a poo, he would rather go on the floor!

chipmonkey · 09/03/2005 16:29

where do people get off, asking about your dd being in nappies? Tell them to mind their own business! ( I know, I know, I wouldn't either.I left ds2 till he was 3 because training ds1 at 2 was such a performance. I'd say try cloth nappies or training pants, cos then they feel the wet. Pampers are v. absorbent!

mummydreamer · 09/03/2005 22:24

Nomdeplume

Like yours, my DD is tall and articulate and I have had many comments about why she is still in nappies. I tried PT at 2 years and she told me clearly that she didn't want to use her potty! I took the hint and backed right off!

On Monday, aged 2 years 4 months, she told me she wanted to wear big girl pants. 3 days later we have had one accident (not an issue) and finally a poo in the potty! yippeeeee - well worth a Wiggles dvd!!!!

I firmly believe that waiting for your child to let you know they are ready is the key. Good luck!

TeaTime · 10/03/2005 15:44

I'm also a mum who's very relieved to see this thread! Ds will be three next week and is not ready to give up nappies at all - has no idea what goes on down there! Cost or comfort aren't issues as he's in washables all the time - he's just not ready. One tip I read (probably on MN!) that I liked was to have a favourite character on pants so when they start wearing them you can say 'Be careful not to wee on Superman!!' I've got a pack of Noddy pants ready which ds has spied and wants to play with but I'm definitely reserving them for the above purpose!! I've got a feeling he won't be ready for another 6 months so I'm happy to see that this is not so uncommon.

secur · 10/03/2005 15:48

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Roobie · 10/03/2005 15:58

DD is 3 next month and still in pull-ups - I have decided not to bother potty 'training' as such and it is paying off as she is gradually sorting herself out. The potty has been out in the bathroom for months and, off her own back, she has started doing her poos in there just before her bath each night. More and more she is asking for the potty for wees as well. When I think fit one day I will put her in proper pants and see how she goes.
So definitely a vote for the hassle-free, laid-back, no-training approach from me!

Easy · 10/03/2005 16:14

DS was nearly 3 and a half. My SIL had tried to make me start with him at 2 and a half, and when they had him over a weekend they sat him on a potty in front of the telly for hours (boy was I angry !!!).

I waited until I was sure he'd understand, and we went from nothing to completely daytime dry in 3 days. So don't worry yet

PrettyCandles · 10/03/2005 19:59

Teatime, why not let your ds try on a pair of 'big-boy pants', but then take them off after he's had a chance to admire himself and enjoy them for a few minutes, telling him that he'll be able to wear them when he knows to do his wee-wee in the toilet (or words to that effect). We did that with ds - not character pants, but tiny briefs 'just like Daddy wears' - and it really motivated him.

ionesmum · 10/03/2005 20:24

My dd potty trained the day after she turned three. Before that she had no interest at all. She was trained within three days. I'm glad I left it because she wasn't stressed about it and we didn't have loads of wet or pooey clothes to wash

Dozeymagz · 11/03/2005 15:55

Very glad to catch this thread. DD is 2y5m and we've been occassionally getting her to sit on the potty, but definately not putting any pressure on her. She has asked to sit on it a couple times (always with a little book to read!) but so far, hasn't done anything in it. No probs. She'll be ready in her own time - I'm glad because I was beginning to think maybe we should try a bit harder. I do think all little ones go at their own pace anyway, and after reading all the comments, I'm not worried at all now. Thanks everyone!

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 16:04

My dd is now 3 and still has the odd accident. She showed no interest till she was 21/2... her little friends were well and truly trainied by this time. I did give in to pressure and after trying her in pull ups for a few weeks we went into pants..... sometimes we had 5 accidents a day. Nursery were brill and helped loads but we agreed that pull ups were a waste of time - she just couldnt be bothered if she had one on and was happy to walk around with a nappy so wet it was by her knees. She seemed to take forever to be aware she needed to go to the toilet. HOwever we have only just stopped putting pull ups on for occasions like parties or long car trips. She calls pull ups her party pants!!! It was hard work and now I wish in a way I had waited a few more months but we have got there. Its great actually becasue now she isnt in a nappy loads of her old clothes fit her again so I am saving some money!!!

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 16:32

SOunds daft but I feel quite sad now she isnt wearing a nappy - she still wears them for bed and i love getting her all snuggly in her pjs. Will be a long time before we are dry at night a nd i am certainly NOT going to start wkingjhtyr

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 16:33

oops.... waking her that was meant to say.

Prettybird · 11/03/2005 16:36

The other I forgot that helped was that once we realsied that this time we were making progress, it helped to bribe , I mean reward , him. He got a wee chocolate "'no man" (actuall a wee chocolate rabbit, but he thought they looked like snowmen) every time he "performed".

He got good so quckly though that we soon had to ration them!

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 16:52

I tried that but she still dint seem to care.... stange i know but she isnt a big choccie lover!

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