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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

One magic piece of advice...

34 replies

Stilltrue · 08/03/2005 13:32

If you had to choose ONE piece of advice to give to a friend/sister about to have a first child, what would it be ?

I would say: be calm and confident in your parenting choices whatever they are, and however hard your situation is at a particular time.
Long term your child will reap the benefit of having a background of confident parenting.

Any other ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

flamesparrow · 08/03/2005 13:35

Read all the advice in sight, then forget it all and follow your heart.

desperatehousewife · 08/03/2005 13:43

buy Gina Ford for sleep and eating, Penelope Leach for emotional development, and Miriam stoppard for illness. That covers it all!

Twiglett · 08/03/2005 13:53

ignore Gina Ford and go with your gut instinct and your baby

Interested in this thread?

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handlemecarefully · 08/03/2005 13:54

Tell yourself that as long as you are doing your best then you are doing just fine.

nailpolish · 08/03/2005 14:00

dont fret about sleeping, eating or anything else. cuddle baby as much as possible, they dont stay small for long

oh and let baby sleep in your bed when they are tiny, it does no harm (imo) and you get lots of cuddles, baby feels safe and protected

dont wish away, ie 'i wish he/she could walk/talk/feed/etc' as time passes too quickly as it is

flamesparrow · 08/03/2005 14:02

Yes! Cuddle your baby as much as you possibly can - it doesn't "spoil" them, and too soon they will be shoving you away so they can run and play!

kama · 08/03/2005 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Branster · 08/03/2005 14:05

sleep at absolutely any opportunity you get whilst the baby is small and sod the housework for a few months.
pick the baby up all the time.

jampots · 08/03/2005 14:06

enjoy every day - they arent small for long.

and definitely go with gut instinct, followed by a little bit of advice to back your instinct up

lucykatie · 08/03/2005 14:06

throw all books on babys in the bin.....not all babys are the same so how can a book tell you what to do.

and yes again.....enjoy them while you can, they grow up sooooooooooo fast.

NomDePlume · 08/03/2005 14:07

Get a broadband connection and add mumsnet to your favourites !

suzywong · 08/03/2005 14:07

keep her with you for as long as it's beneficial to both parties, but if your sleep is getting disturbed to the point of leaving you no good for the next day then don't hesitate to ship her out to the cot. ( I co slept with ds1 till he was 14 months and he was just trying it on by that time)

and lots of lots of cuddles, never miss an opportunity to cuddle and stroke and tell them that you love them and you make them happy.

And good point about be confident

psychomum5 · 08/03/2005 14:08

they don't come with a handbook....(such a shame!!), so follow your instincts, and if you are still unsure, ask your mum/closest friend/sister.

and cuddle them lots, they don't stay small forever, and you will soon miss it when they grow.

flamesparrow · 08/03/2005 14:08

Babies in bed is lovely - B went into her own cot at about 6 weeks, but still came in and out as the situation required (and yes, sometimes that was just mummy requiring her baby for cuddles!).

She is now 21 months, and comes in if she is poorly (I feel I can keep a better eye on her with us).

When they are old enough to kick up a fuss, its been a case for us of being strong, saying no, and letting her cry for a little bit. She soon twigs it ain't happening and goes back to sleep alone!

nailpolish · 08/03/2005 14:09

hi kama

i let dd's sleep in our bed til they were hardly needing fed through the night, about 14 wks. bf is so nice lying down, in bed, i couldnt resist. and i used to fall asleep, and wake up, boob hanging out, baby asleep! i honestly think its fine, but not too long, about maybe 5 mths. please note i am not an expert, this just worked for me

when i started putting them in bed on their own, i put beside them my nightie so they could still smell me. and i put them in their own room too

co-sleeping is lovely, sadly my dd's are not doing it any more

skerriesmum · 08/03/2005 14:10

Cuddle and hug lots, give them massage, basically lots of body contact. My ds now 2 is very affectionate because he got this start (and I still love to cuddle him!) Now when he's being changed into clothes in the mornings he says "cuggle!" And we have a long hug when he's still just in his nappy. I love him to bits!

Sorrel · 08/03/2005 14:11

bump

Cooperoo · 08/03/2005 14:12

Buy a thermos mug or learn to enjoy luke warm tea and coffee.
Enjoy it while you can, these are precious times and as someone else said you cannot spoil a small baby.

PinkWebby · 08/03/2005 14:13

My advise would be is enjoy them as much as you can, It is hard to make the time to play, but they will enjoy seeing you having fun with them. It will make them happy which is what we all want for our babies.

prunegirl · 08/03/2005 14:13

Message withdrawn

suzywong · 08/03/2005 14:16

Kama, keep her with you for as long as it's beneficial to both parties, but if your sleep is getting disturbed to the point of leaving you no good for the next day then don't hesitate to ship her out to the cot. ( I co slept with ds1 till he was 14 months and he was just trying it on by that time)

and lots of lots of cuddles, never miss an opportunity to cuddle and stroke and tell them that you love them and you make them happy.

And good point about be confident

kama · 08/03/2005 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 08/03/2005 14:19

does she have her daytime naps in her own bed? my dd's did and it got them used to it. i hope everything works out ok for you. i bottle fed from 6 mths also

WestCountryLass · 08/03/2005 14:42

Forget cosleeping for babies benefit, I enjoy cosleeping as mine are like extra cuddly hot water bottles on chilly nights

joash · 08/03/2005 15:00

I would say to any new mum ... Ignore the 'well-meaning' advice from other people. By all means ask for their opinion, but at the end of the day TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

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