Miserable people on planes and trains!!!!

[Bumdiddley]

I, ds22mo and dd3yo and dh were returning from holiday on Gatwick Express.

Ds decided to have a tantrum 10 mins from Victoria so I stood by the door and tried to placate him eg. toys, sweeties, cuddles, etc.

I noticed a woman come to the door and make a comment. I ignored her cos, well, ds was going muclear. Then, she put her fingers in her ears.

When ds calmed down I asked her to repeat herself. She said "I'm not going to talk to you". I told her " If you don't like travelling with the hoi polloi, don't use public transport" She said something dismissive.

I walked away from her, (absolutely livid) as I as still carrying ds. I started saying to ds (so she could hear) "Aw, bad lady is tired and angry. Poor lady doesn't only wear sunglasses inside, but also has a bad dress sense"

I'm still angry the next day. People on the plane were giving him evils too because he liked to pootle up and down the plane.

I know not everyone will think he's a cherub and I tried to keep him quiet...
You know, I'm not sure where I'm going with this I just needed to write it all down so I can forget about it IYSWIM!

[sandy4]

know what you mean, last year a woman grabbed ds3's arm as he was running up and down on the plane , i will rememder 'bad dress sense' comment for next time though!!!

[Broodymomma]

Oh what a cow!! I hate people like that. I have a rather "lively" ds and am sick of the comments you here from people. I screamed back at one one day "do you think you could do any better feel free" as my ds was having a spectacular tantrum. Last week I was told he should come with a govornment health warning. You must remember these people are perfect with perfect children and perfect lives!!!!! Grrr makes me so annoyed.

On the planes thing... Im flying for the first time with my son who will be 17mths - he refuses to sit on anyones kneww for more than 2 mins. Any suggestions on how to cope??

[scatterbrain]

Hmmmm - she was out of order and clearly grumpy - but you have every right to travel ! However - I would not have been impressed by your comment had I heard it - not a good lesson to teach your kids !

I would have apologised - probably slightly sarcastically - and left it at that. At the end of the day I just think life's too short for bad karma - and live and let live etc.

[scatterbrain]

Broodymomma - he will HAVE to sit on your knee for more than 2 mins - it takes longer than that to taxi and take off ! he will be seatbelted to you anyway. Sometimes kids just have to do what they have to do !

[GooseyLoosey]

Oddly, I had the opposite experience recently. I was on a train with an empty seat next to me. There were no double seats empty. A woman got on with her dd who was around 2 and sat on the other side of the aisle to me. Her dd started to scream when she realised that there was no seat for her. I started to pack up my stuff to offer the woman my seat so she could sit with her daughter. Someone gave me a filthy look and asked me if I could not have a little more sympathy. I was horrified - if I had sat and done nothing (as everyone else did) no one would have said anything to me.

[sandy4]

broodymomma - we flew to oz when youngest 15 mths old, take off & landing were a bit of a pain.

We stock up on small toys, drinks, dried fruit etc & bring them out at regular intervals!!

[scatterbrain]

Goosey - I don't understand that - could they have thought that you were packing to move to get away from the child maybe ? Sounds like a misunderstanding to me !

[Morloth]

Some people are miserable best to just ignore them.

I have to say though that kicking the seat of the person in front on long haul flights is not on though. I have BEEN that person and it is absolutely maddening.

[GooseyLoosey]

They all instantly assumed that I was packing to move as no doubt that was in their own minds. After that, my actions to give the woman my seat looked like it was in response to their comment and I felt really uncomfortable.

[pagwatch]

i always think these issues are in the eye of the beholder.
Of course there are adults who are vile and unreasonable around small children.
But i have seen planty of parents allow their children to run riot and expect everyone to put up with it.
A bit of consideration from both sides of the fene would be nice.
Goosey
Your child will have to sit or get off.
A child has to be strapped in for take off, landing and anytime the seat belt signs are on. No exceptions - as my profoundly SN son quicly discovered.
I would start practicing now if I were you

[Bumdiddley]

Broodymomma - We packed little pressies for the dcs. Just with stuff from £1 shop. Animals, dollies, fans, sweeties etc. So if it kicked off we gave them a pressie to open. We also went to cheapy book shops and got some little books. Take your ds's favourite teddy.
On the way there people looked on adoringly when ds trundled up and down the plane, on the way back there were a few frowners. I put it down to them coming back from their holidays!! Good luck!

scatterbrain - ds is 22 months old. Which comment? Anyway, she was started it
I appreciate she has the right to travel, it says so in my op.

I also stopped ds kicking the back of peoples seats!!

[scatterbrain]

All your comments - about travelling with hoi polloi and her being badly dressed (bitchy)- if you'd have said that to me (or about me to your kids) I would have thought you were very rude !

I loathe people making comments out loud to other people so that the intended recipient has no choice but to overhear ! It si very very rude imho. And cowardly - if you've got something to say say it TO me not so I can overhear it FGS !!!

I know it's annoying that she was so childish as to put her fingers in her ears - but rise above it - don't reatliate on her childish level !

[scatterbrain]

Actually I said YOU have the right to travel - not her !

[EffiePerine]

Well, you were extremely rude - is that what you're trying to teach your DCs? Is someone is rude to you (and she may have just been being facetious) you can be rude back?

[EffiePerine]

If

[EffiePerine]

and teaching your kids a certain amount of consideraion on public transport is no bad thing. I would have apologised for the noise (it is irritating to have shouting toddlers near you, esp if they are your own ) and calmly pointed out that you were dealing with it. No call for personal sarcastic comments.

[Bumdiddley]

I was intending to be rude! She muttered something at me and then rufused to repeat it. I lowered myself to her level - you are right. But I wouldn't say that to you or your kids - don't really get your point??

[mumblechum]

Sorry but I think you were v. rude.

If you're child is misbehaving, I think discipline, not placating, is the way to go.

So many journeys on planes & trains become a nightmare when children are screaming their heads off.

Probably going to get slated now, but that's my opinion.

[EffiePerine]

you said it in front of your kids. Not exactly setting a good example. I understand you were cross, but still...

[Blandmum]

agree with pagwatch.

some childless people are arseholes but so are some parents.

Like the ones that let their kids run up and down the aisle of the train for the whole journey from York to Edinburgh shouting all the way. Parents just couldn't be arsed to help to entertain their kids,so we had to put up with the poor behavior instead

[scatterbrain]

What do you mean you wouldn't say it to me ??? You said it to her didn't you ? You don't know me or her - so what's the difference - you were rude to a complete stranger because she dared to criticise your darling ??

I hate screaming kids on trains and planes - including my own - although I would never say anything as I have been that mother - but that's not the point ! YOU were as RUDE and as OUT OF ORDER as she was ! End of !

[EffiePerine]

[FairyMum]

I totaly understand why you made those comments. You were already stressed dealing with your ds and this woman is making you more stressed. If you have never experienced your child having a tantrum on public transport (a typical place for tantrums IME) then you must be very lucky. A child of 22months is not misbehaving when having a tantrum and if your child is like mine there is nothing you can do but wait until they have calmed down. I often had comments when my children have had tantrums on the plane. Comments such as "can you not deal with it". It might look as if I am doing nothing, but if I as much as look at my toddler when he has a tantrum I just make it worst. After 3 children I have learn to just ignore grumpy people. The fact is you sometimes have to enter into public space even with a toddler and todders sometimes throw tantrums and there is nothing you can do. These grumpy people should invest in a private jet.