8 year old asked about sex

[Milkworm44]

8 year old son asked today how the sperm gets to the egg (already knowing that men have sperm women have eggs, he is born via ivf so we have explained that to him always). He thought all children were born with the help of drs and tonight I told him that wasn’t the case and then he asked well how does the sperm get to the egg then? I explained very factually about the penis going into the vagina and we looked at a book which explained all different ways babies can be born but now I’m panicking I’ve said too much. Although I do think if he’s asking then he should now. He was very curious about it asking if children can do this and could he help make a baby now etc. I explained it was something grown ups did and reiterated about private parts etc. I think 8 is an ok age for this right? 🙈

8 should be fine for this and you did the right thing.

Kids should always know the facts of life in an age appropriate way. I think your explanation is spot on. Conversations about sex shouldn’t be embarrassing or taboo

It sounds fine to me. With his question, I would definitely reiterate things like pants are private and that these are only actions for two consenting adults but they have to know the facts at some point!

Can I ask what books you have please as my 7 year old is very inquisitive and asks a lot of questions so I'm already wondering when he will put me on the spot and ask me.

I think you did exactly the right thing OP. My son asked the same thing when he was a bit younger, I think maybe 6ish, and I was a bit unsure what to tell him but took the same view as you: as he'd asked, he should be told. I gave him a brief, factual overview and since then we've built on that foundation as and when he's had questions. He's now 11, seems unscarred by my initial explanation and is very comfortable asking questions as they occur to him, so I think you've handled this perfectly.

I think you did the right thing answering his questions factually.

I had the exact same conversation with my 7 yr old at the weekend.

For the most part I think if they are old enough to ask they're old enough for an age appropriate answer.

I did tell DD not to go waltzing into school and announce her new found knowledge as not everyone's parents would be having these conversations yet!

Totally fine @Milkworm44
Yes you need to answer his questions – that's so important and now he knows he can ask
Yes you told him it's for adults and his private parts are private
Yes 8yo is a perfectly fine age for this – tbh any age when questions are asked, but it sounds as tho the info you gave was very appropriate

Keep the dialogue going and that’s great.

Love that he wanted to help you make a baby now :)

I agree. Well done for not shying away from it and being factual 👌

There are several books with pictures (cartoon style) that are useful just for looking through (with or without questions being asked by a 7 year old).

Have a look on Amazon for one of the " Let's talk about ..." books. I used the "Let's talk about where babies come from" with both my children. It made the later teenage questions a bit easier!

It sounds like you dealt with it well.

Absolutely fine. I think mine probably asked younger than that. That’s a great factual explanation. My eldest was horrified to hear how she was conceived though. 🤣

You haven't done anything wrong. My sons nearly 8, he's asked about giving birth and how the baby comes out but we've not had the chat about sex. He is the type that would tell all his friends and I imagine a fair few parents don't talk to thier kids about this. I know friends that have explained periods aswell but I personally don't feel a child needs to know all that so young. I know if my mum told me at that age I would have freaked out. Each to their own though. The books seem the right idea and I was told when the time comes you need to use the proper body parts and keep it factual so you've explained it right.

My experience is they ask these questions, I answered honestly and they promptly forgot until the next time.

My daughter asked this while were at the Sainsburys checkout. I hurriedly promised to tell her when we got home!

Sex talks with ADC started at about 3ish, when questions started to be asked. Knowledge was a gradual build up as they got older and asked additional questions. Isn't that how we all teach it?

Your answer was completely fine and age-appropriate. It’s best to answer these questions as they arise, with answers tailored to their age, rather than wait to sit them down and have a big, scary ‘talk’.

Too old. But better late than never!!

I think you should have told the truth…a stork delivers the baby

My dd (same age) knows about the sperm and the egg, but I haven't gone as far as to tell her about a penis going in the vagina yet!! I thought she was too young, so I'm glad to read these responses and know it's okay when the next question arises. She was flicking through a newspaper the other day and casually announced that she's learnt that women like sex more than men!! 🙈🙈

The most important thing is having a factual answer. You did that, OP. My DD asked at 3: 'Mummy, I know I grew in your tummy but how did I get there?' I told her, using similar language to you. Then, immediately, she asked: 'May I have another biscuit?' I realised that young children don't differentiate between the things they are curious about and that for her, the facts of life had no more or less significant than an afternoon snack.

I was also keen for my DD not to reach 13 and be confused like I was. For example, I wanted to know if you could get pregnant from oral sex and spent time with a diagram of the internal body parts of a woman, trying to work out how the sperm travelled down the digestive tract into the ovaries. The emphasis in biology lessons on the strength and survival instinct of sperm persuaded me that they could survive outside the body. Walking in town centres, I imagined them casually spilt on the pavement vaulting onto my shoe and crawling up my leg and into my vagina.

Sounds like you did a great job. If he doesn’t learn the facts from you and feel like he can’t talk to you, then he’ll learn rubbish from other people, and not talk to you when it’s really important in the future. Davina McCall has a great podcast called Begin again, and she was talking to Cindy Gallop last week about this. Cindy does a lot of education about this, and her take is that parents should be talking to kids and being open in an age appropriate way, not being embarrassed etc. she was talking about a website Makelovenotporn where she has videos for parents. Really good listen.

8 years old??? This is so sad. Heartbreaking in fact. What has happened to kids‘ innocence? :’(

Did you never wonder where you came from when you were that age?

It’s not unusual for girls to start their periods in primary so boys and girls need to know about that by the time they are 8 for sure.

Do you think kids should be told they were found under a gooseberry bush?

Knowing the basics about how a baby is made doesn’t take away a child’s ‘innocence’. How absurd.

You think it’s ’heartbreaking’ and ‘sad’ that a child is curious about biology? Are you mad?

A child asking how babies are made is literally no different from a child asking how our food turns into poo, or why we sneeze when we get a cold, or why blood is red. You’re being really weird about this. He’s a child. It’s just scientific curiosity and it’s completely appropriate to answer the question simply and factually.

My dc’s school had a programme in year 5 with all the age appropriate materials sent home. Seemed about the right age (some parents said too early and complained but you can’t win them all!) neither of mine were curious any younger and nor were any of their friends, all as far as I’m aware learned via the lessons and parents had a separate session to view the lessons.