Running out of things to do with 9-month-old in winter

[surrealpotato]

Just that really. I'm solely in charge of baby from 9-5, at which point my DH takes over.

I feel a bit stuck. We don't have a lot of money, don't live within walking distance of anywhere, and the weather is grim.

I try to do as much as I can with her.... Free playgroups some weekday mornings, library rhyme time, swimming sometimes.

At home we fill some time by reading, eating solids, naps, some nursery rhymes, tummy time etc.

All that said, there are still large parts of most days where I feel she's bored. I definitely am!

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to fill the time with her? I find myself resorting to sticking kid's telly on for her more than I'd like, which I don't feel great about.

I should also mention I'm four months pregnant so some activities are limited!

They are quite boring at this age OP - but the trick is just do as much of the things you want to as possible. My kids grew up enjoying going to the local coffee shop, supermarket, walks whilst i listened to podcasts, etc. With the right baby carrier you can also port her around all kinds of places like museums, etc as well.

It's much harder now isn't it? Everyone who isn't on maternity leave is at work. I used to go and see my mum or go to friends/ they'd come to me. Most of us worked part time or not at all.
It must be very lonely 🙁
But do get your baby used to sitting and playing without constant entertainment from you. Nothing ever last for long at that age but mine would sit in their little seat and watch the washing machine while i pottered in the kitchen, or sit in high chair while I narrated what I was doing when I was catching up on chores etc.

I read a lovely book years ago called Nature's Masterpiece by Libby Purves and she describes putting the baby/toddler in the bath with a few toys while you sit on the toilet and supervise while taking the opportunity to paint your toenails. It's worth thinking about - not everything needs to be a bonding/learning experience or all about the baby. Sometimes it's about doing something for you and saving your sanity.

Also this

At that age we were also house renovation mode. So Ds spent a lots of time in kitchen showrooms, ikea, paint shops, buying bits of wood, looking at random pavement brochures. He also got dumped in travel cot to watch me paint, or played with things like measuring sticks and other safe ish diy stuff whilst we built cabinets or installed floors. So basically don’t worry about getting some things done yourself that aren’t baby focused.

Also re rain, I found it rarely rains all day. So usually there’s a few hours of dry to get outside. I listened to Audio books whilst Ds screamed himself to nap some bad days. It’s not so grating outside

Me too. I learned the 20 x half hour slots on here too and it helped loads. You don't have to do every activity, of course, but it helps being able to look at the sheet and say 'Yay! It's puzzle time' or quiet book time, or building bricks time. or making a collage/ doing finger paint pictures for grannybtime. Of course each 30 minute slot starts with 5 minutes getting stuff out and 5 minutes today up time . . .

For wet dreary days, when there wasn't a toddler group on, we used to do an almost daily trip to Sainsburys, so that we could say hello to humans and a mid morning bath with toys, (as well as an evening bath.)

A kitchen disco is also good - make yourself a good dance playlist and have a 30 minute bop at about 4.30pm. it warms you up, makes you feel human again, and is a great habit to introduce. When the kids are bigger and go into the 'witching hour' - the hour in winter before teatime, when they become invariably cranky, then 'kitchen disco time' for everyone can be a fun diversion.

Best of luck. It does get easier, honest!

Mostly we dressed for the weather and went for a walk, we would look at the things we could see, and name them eg sheep, and describe the colours of things eg the sheep is eating the green grass. Or we'd see a tractor - look at the green tractor, that's a John Deere - which my dad found hilarious, DD was about 13-14 months old and he conversationally said 'Oh look a combine harvester', which DD dismissed with barely a glance saying yes, it's a Claas', farming stuff and things with wheels being her main interest

Morrisons have a toddler and baby club which, if you sign up on the app, gets you a free slice of cake every Monday. I pop baby in the pram and go a big walk there and back which passes a lot of time, I get a coffee and a few bits of shopping and my daughter enjoys getting out and about. Our Morrisons also has loads of books and colouring sheets etc so we sit and do that for a bit. It's not an organised club or anything, just a deal at the coffee shop.

M&S do something similar to Morrisons on a Tuesday morning. Quite a few of our local shopping centres have a mini soft play in the middle which is usually free and very baby/toddler friendly due to size so if baby is exploring you could maybe work that in to a coffee morning trip.

Is there a "The Mum Club" near you? They organise buggy walks and other events. If a walk, it's £8 which covers a coffee and cake and you get to socialize with other mums as well.

Can you tell how I've spent my maternity leave?

I also take my daughter to the gym. There are various mum and child/baby classes - yoga, metafit, spin etc. All things that my daughter will sit through and included in cost of membership.

Hahhhahahaaa. My son at 9 months was a duracell baby that needed to do stuff all the time. He was crawling at 6 months, cruising at 9 months and walking and climbing at 10 months so he was a VERY active baby. To this day, he is just a very easily bored boy who needs to be outside a lot. Give him a bike and some space, and he's happy. Try to contain him in the house, and will regret it. I must have the only child that has zero interest in screens lol.

OP - we were out every morning. I found the 6-9 months stage hard as he was bored but couldn't walk yet. I actually sometimes (when the weather was super bad) took him to a local hotel that had a big conference area with carpeting he could crawl on, I bought lunch from the hotel cafe and then took him to the (always empty) conference area and he loved that 😂

I also had a waterproof blanket (think it was meant for the beach lol) and took him to the park and he loved looking around, even when cold outside.

Museums were a huge hit.

Soft play he loved, although I myself hate soft play 😅

My life vastly improved by 11 months when he was properly running, so I could just take him to the park for hours. And then even more as he got older and I bought a toddler tower so I could give him little tasks in the kitchen with me.

Read, read, read. It is one of the best things you can do.

You’re doing far far more than I did already!
Kids who are constantly entertained grow up being bored easily.

When my son was that age I used to put him in the pushchair and walk 5 mile a day whatever the weather. I know that’s probably a bit excessive but it was the best thing for me, it gave me fresh air and I wasn’t stuck in the house. I used to travel to different places to walk. It was also during Covid so there wasn’t much else to do but it helped me get through it.

Turn the TV off. I know it can be deathly boring, but there is absolutely no need for a nine month old to be watching the TV.

Grizzling is fine. Let her grizzle for a bit.

I find other adult company is a priority. Can you arrange to meet friends? Other Mums with babies from playgroup maybe, they're also probably bored out of their mind so even if you don't them well you can invite them. Or try and see other friends and family, at this age she's just going along with what you're doing so no harm in just seeing other adults.

Go to places that you want to go and she'll be happy enough looking around, a change of scenery and some fresh air does wonders, it doesn't need to be a baby activity.

Maybe, but this patch before they’re properly mobile is horrible, they’re frustrated but still able somehow to get themselves from one end of the room to the other. Also as I say I had to do SOMETHING or I would just fall asleep and you can’t leave a ninja nine month old unsupervised while conked out on the sofa. Did try a playpen briefly, the screaming was intolerable.

Ds was given an illegal baby walker, the ones where they sit in the middle and can ‘walk’ around. He adored that beyond belief. But I saw why it was illegal, he scooted to the back door and tipped over, hitting his head in the doorframe. 😫

I used to stick stuff in a cardboard box for mine at that age. Apparently that was hugely entertaining even more so than the toy box.

Im truth it was easier with the next one as the older one was there and they enjoyed eachothers company

Honestly, just relax and enjoy it.

I was a stay at home Mum in the early years and it was the best time of my life. I love working now (and glad I went back when the kids started school) but definately didn’t appreciate enough the joy of staying in pyjamas, no rushing out the door, cuddles on the sofa, watching peppa pig when its raining, meeting friends (who were also off) for a coffee, chats at groups. I made friends im still friends with many years later and we talked about holidays and wine 😂 Kept the baby talk to a minimum!

Even just doing jobs at home, its good for them to play independently and not need you to be hovering over them all the time (not saying you are). We used to get all the puzzles out and our kids would cover the floor in them. Duplo blocks, trains, stacking blocks etc. If they can play independently, I think that makes such a difference so you can not be needed by them every second of the day.

Also, enjoy the simple trips out before they are older and everything costs a fortune (taking a group of teens to the cinema etc). Go on the bus, the train, walks, the park, anywhere there’s something to look at for your baby. Any baby swim classes near you? Our local leisure centre has a cheap soft play so easy place to meet a friend for a coffee too.

Just remember, when they are in nursery/school, there is never a day off the rush unless its the school holidays and you can take annual leave. 6am alarm every day, everyone out the house in a rush and living for weekends for a lie in…if they dont do clubs which alot do.

Enjoy it! I promise you will look back in the future and miss it.

Tesco was a surprising hit with mine once they could reliably sit up in the trolley seat; we would walk via the park for the swings if I didn't want to get the car out.

Garden centres with fish shops are still fascinating at 18+ months.

There's also some occasional play groups near us that meet at a care home but aren't well advertised - worth having a Google or even asking any care homes near you if they do this.

The TV is a really bad idea, it's going to cause nothing but trouble. Once baby is used to the dopamine rush of screens, they will never feel the same playing with toys. If you want baby to be able to play by themselves at times then you really need to then the TV off. Screen time is absolutely detrimental to under 2s and shouldn't be used at all.
I will likely have people come for me now with '10 mins of tv whilst I do... is fine' but it isn't fine and it's never just 10 minutes. It damages their brain so badly and leads to bad behaviour in the future as it's addictive.

I agree with what others have said, you don't need to try so hard. Baby will learn to entertain and play by themselves if you let them. If you keep purposely entertaining then they'll never learn to do things by themselves or use their imagination

We did a lot of museums, library, woodland walks. At home I always just gave them things like dry cereal, pasta, bird seed (was the best one!) scoops, tongs and then hid things in them at home, passed away the time. Painters tape stuck over balls for them to rescue, pipe cleaners wrapped round animals, hide puzzle pieces in foil to unwrap.

If they were bored, they either found a safe way to entertain themselves or they came along with me to do some jobs (sat in carrier or on floor watching or ‘helping’ with the washing, wiping things while I cleaned up). They always loved it as they were close to me and doing something different each day.

You sound like you’re doing loads, you don’t need to be doing more, just make use of what’s already there :-)

This is what I feel. I already noticed her staring/zoning out at the telly when it's on. Will switch it off. Thanks for the nudge.

Oh yes! Fish tanks! I’d take my kids to the local Dobbies regularly. Get a coffee, wander around the fish tanks, maybe a cafe treat and home. Full morning of fun.

I do this, she seems to like watching me fold and narrate the laundry!

If you’re not far from a bus route can you pop her in the pram walk to the bus stop and go to a park? You can then walk round the park, stop at the swings and then get the bus home? It means there’ll be plenty for them to look at, they’ll enjoy the bus ride and you get some headspace whilst walking. You may also get to chat to other Mums or nannies in the park which is often just a bit of helpful solidarity. I used to love hanging out in the park - I was lucky though as there were loads of kids in the area and people were mostly lovely. Really hope you can find some similar places!

Our kids watched plenty of Cbeebies as did all their friends. It’s the programmes they watch that matter - Alphablocks, Number blocks, I can cook, Mr Tumble, Tractor Ted, Thomas the Tank Engine were all brilliant (not sure how many of those are still on).

TV is great when the day is balanced - playing, books, outdoor time, fresh air, meeting friends with other children in the week etc. Being left in front of the tv with no engagement from parents all day is when it’s an issue.

Mine would scream her head off if she was in the high chair for more than 10-15 minutes. I started a thread at a similar point and was given this advice. I would give a spoon, or something else and I tried toys, I would put music on, and each thing would buy me 2 minutes or so and then I would run out of things and she would be purple in the face screaming until she made herself sick. I used to find it so hard when people would say, just give them a spoon to play with. I’m not sure that works with all babies, unless you do mean other parents will just let their kids scream and scream until the child accepts their fate. That was never for me though. I found this age really hard.
id say try adding in some baths with toys, I used to turn out all the lights in their room and put a star projector on and she found that interesting
big bowls of water they can splash around with on a towel were good, getting out somewhere totally different too, like to a farm to look at animals or a busy city centre if you live in the suburbs and wander around the shops. If it’s just a bit drizzly you can wrap up enough that it’s still ok to be outdoors. I used the carrier though because mine hated the pram, there was no possibility of doing errands and wandering around shops like that. I found a ton of free or very cheap classes and sessions though and tried to get us out every single day at that point. I stopped around 11m once they started walking and playing with toys more because it all just got much easier.

This! ^^

Babies don’t need entertainment all the time. You are making a rod for your own back trying to keep her from grizzling.
What did mothers do before tv etc?
She needs to learn to entertain herself. Let her grizzle. My offspring were lucky to get a walk everyday .. they’ve grown up very self contained and soon learned to play alone, right from when they could sit up.