Which type of mum are you?

[Ncncnca]

Lighthearted chat! There’s no right or wrong here!

I’m the let them make a mess as long as I get 5mins of peace mum. I have accepted that DD’s room is covered in stickers (bedframe, doors on the inside) as long as it doesn’t spew on to the family areas. There are pen marks on everything, the walls have seen better days (fingerprints all sorts). I made my peace with stalling the decorating of our newbuild until they’re older and wiser. Baby led weaning when they were smaller - egg falls off the spoon? You wanna smear it in to the highchair? You do you. Let me drink my coffee while it’s still warm.

A friend of mine is very much no pens in the house, no play doh, stickers are banned, nothing that can make a mess. She will take her DC to playgroups and activities where they do get to do this but in a different environment. The hoover is always on, little spill the Vax carpet cleaner comes out immediately, she sits by the kids at mealtimes and wipes the moment there’s a bit of food on the table.

I think we fall in to the whole ‘type A, type B mum’ narrative. Which one are you?

Im a FTM, my baby is a 9 week old boy, i have laminate glooring and a fabric sofa.

At first i was like OMG dont get anything on the sofa, i put throws over my sofas, made sure everything was set up ready. Ive only had my sofa 2 years. Now? Im like 'love theres sick on the sofa, just give it a quick wipe will you?' Oh hes decided to wee while i was switching out the nappy.. he can pee on the floor i'll mop it.

Im so excited for the mess of painting and weaning!! (I used to be a nursery worker) my OH on the otherhands like omg hes going to be dirty, tge house is going to be dirty, hes not allowed paint, he has to be fed by us. Of course i disagree and what happens when hes at work, stays between me and my baby🤣🤣

I believe a child should be dirty from time to time. You can throw them in the bath and clean them up, theres cleaning products for everything these days. Whats the problem?😂

I think most people are somewhere in the middle TBH. I know I was .

This.

You are not doing them any favours to not let them know it isn't acceptable to draw on anything other than paper.

I am FAR from a clean freak or a tidy freak - I sit agog at some of the house cleaning threads on here - but teaching your dc that there's a time and a place, and that, when you are doing painting or play doh, you do it on the mat or old sheet or whatever you put down, etc is part of parenting.

75% A, 25% B.

We have a house of pens and play doh, arts and crafts but with some containment and rules about where they can be used.

My daughter has drawn on the walls once. She was 22 months old and I got her to clean it off with me. We have no stickers on the furniture but she has lots of places where stickers can be put. Most of the time she can do any crafts she wants but there's other times when we need the house to stay tidy so we suggest a few low mess crafts for that day.

We don't insist on everything being tidied the moment it's not used but periodically throughout the day we tidy up and always before bed.

I have never been one to be there with wet wipes whilst eating or when out and about but do get her to wash her hands once she's finished a meal and after being outside. She can get as muddy and dirty as she wants but as long as she gets clean once the messy play is finished.

It's a balance of keeping the fun but with boundaries

I couldn't be more A if I tried 😂

Emotionally the opposite of mine so my child is not my best friend or surrogate spouse.

mess wise I didn’t really encourage glitter in the house or stickers in furniture but I wasn’t saying no as she didn’t really ask, did loads of crafts though . Her room can be as much of a tip as she wants but again that’s going against my childhood as that was not tolerated and I was very much shamed for doing ( what I know now is) normal kid stuff.

I’ll hold my hand up and say I’m more B.

We’ve set the house up so it can take a beating in certain areas - the kitchen is tiled, oil cloth on the table etc so they can do what they want in that room and it cleans up. Hallway is similarly indestructible.

But upstairs is carpeted and it’s strictly no food or pens playdoh glitter etc up there. To be honest they’ve always wanted to do that stuff in the kitchen anyway so it wasn’t a big deal.

Food or craft stuff on a carpet or sofa is pretty grim IMO and it’s a job to get it properly clean - sure it happens sometimes but it would be something I would try to avoid rather than “crack on”.

I’d be pissed off if they stuck stickers all over their room not so much because of how it looks to me but because I know that in a year or three they’ll find those stickers babyish and then they’ll want new furniture.

I don’t particularly care what happens to the kids’ clothes but I know that other kids can be judgy if someone always has food down them so yeah I encourage them to eat at the table, on a plate and wipe their hands on a kitchen towel not their jumper!

If all that makes me type B so be it!!

I also think it depends what type of child you have my oldest, never drew on walls etc so I never had to think about it! When I used to say okay time to put away toys/pens whatever it was, I was always met with an “okay mum”

My second, give me strength, the kid can ransack a room in seconds. I don’t mind the mess but my god its a battle getting her to put things away (she is in the process of being diagnosed for autism so I do get this makes a difference).

She hardly sleeps, I work everyday so sometimes I pick my battles and if she is tipping all her toys out of a morning and I can drink a tea in peace before she goes to nursery/I start work, I do, and clean it up myself. But my house is significantly messier since I’ve had her 🙃

I disagree with the binary opposition you’ve set up tbh. Some of us are somewhere in between. My house is nicely decorated, but if my toddler draws on the wall I won’t freak out but I’ll touch up or clean the paintwork. She can make a mess and I’ll clean it up!

ETA I would tell her off but it’s not the end of the world, that’s my general approach

Neither of those!
I certainly don't hoover constantly but I am very twitchy about not losing pieces of LEGO/jigsaws/chess sets etc and putting console game cartridges straight back into the correct box.
I didn't sweat dropped food in weaning or craft materials getting out of their area/onto clothes, but I always had a plastic cloth down to catch the escapees and wouldn't have ever tolerated outright property damage like drawing on walls or on reading books.

Def A, I loved all that (3 under 5 too so was full on), painting, play doh, Hama beads, junk modelling, making slime! I paint and crochet etc myself so I’d be a hypocrite if I hadn’t let them be freely creative too! Late teens now so not an issue but our house is still a relaxed home - clean but never super tidy, I don’t stress about a bit of mess.

My brain is B - I can’t stand mess and disorder, but my kids are A kids so I live in a constant state of mess then clean, mess then clean.

Bang in the middle of A and B.

My mum was very firmly B. She unfortunately got me as her child who is just the polar opposite. She used to drive me nuts growing up with strict rules (never allowed posters on walls etc) and meltdowns over messes. And I used to drive her nuts as I was such a messy, disorganised child.

I am now an A type mum but I'm aware it's partly because of privilege. I can afford a cleaner, to repaint, to replace ruined clothes etc.

maybe that’s a point - my mum and grandma were both super tidy so maybe I’m just drifting away from the control!