3 year old unwell and lethargic - Husband thinks a trip to A&E is needed but I feel staying at home is best. Please help and advise

[Biosblbay]

Our 3 year old has been very unwell since Saturday late night/ early hours Sunday. He hasn’t eaten since Saturday late afternoon, refuses everything, won’t eat yogurt, toast, ice cream, no fruit, nothing, but he is drinking plenty of water. His temperature is very up and down, currently it’s 37.5. He won’t take calpol, as per my previous post it is impossible and tried every single method and way possible! He hasn’t moved in 2 days, when he tries to get up he just lays straight back down, hardly talking, sleeping lots, but still watching TV/ films and able to focus on that (not sure if this is classed as lethargic). My husband is really concerned he isn’t eating, I am not as concerned as he is drinking water still and we are only on day 2, tomorrow will be day 3. I would rather avoid A&E if it is not necessary, I don’t want to spread whatever our son has and do not want to make him feel worse.

Can I have some others input please on what is best. A little unsure what to do. Thank you

But it didn’t need to get to the hospital stage - a stage where he was kept in overnight and found a bed - the only times mine have been in overnight it was pretty damn bad and not just tonsillitis

Pharmacy first would have worked wonders here on the Monday or Tuesday morning, looked at his throat diagnosed and prescribed antibiotics- itis literally the reason it is there

The OP could have avoided taking up a bed if she had really read the signs - temperature and lethargy in a child needs looking at by a professional and the easy simple causes diagnosed or ruled out

the fact he is feeling better this morning is the antibiotics one assumes he was started on last night

having had a child (thankfully grown out of it) he would plummet fast with tonsillitis and recover quickly with antibiotics

OP I am unfortunately the kind of person who reacts in the way you did. I minimise rather than react.

Luckily my children have never been very sick but it’s something you need to be aware of and watch out for.

So normal for a toddler not to want to eat when poorly. OP, personally I would have done the same as you and waited and seen. You went to A&E at the right point and your DS is now on the mend. That's all that matters.

Bless him. My son gets it very often.

Difflam spray is great, alternate between ibuprofen and calpol.

They will probably give you phenexomethylpenicillin which tastes vile but I find tilting DS back and shooting the syringe at the back of his cheek then blowing on his face gets it down.

Hope he’s feeling better soon!

Sorry, but A&E beds are for exactly this reason! Dehydration can set in very fast in small children, with few warning signs (especially as OP said her DC was drinking and had wet nappies).

But would you have medicated your child? Or perhaps listened to the other parents opinion at least?

I am not saying they aren’t but if she had visited a pharmacy or doctors earlier gotten the antibiotics he would not have needed the bed

it is a balancing act as to when you go (which does get easier as they get older and can tell you more) but going earlier could have avoided it

and if it couldn’t it certainly couldn’t have been treated at home

Good he's being seen. It's much harder to decide about these things than people on here make it sound.

I've previously basically been told off for ringing 111 about weak, lethargic child not eating much and been told off cos if she's drinking, she's ok.

Oh ffs he’s fine 🙄

She did. Her child refused to take Calpol. And it does sound like she was considering her DH's opinion by posting here and asking for a third opinion.

It is enormously disruptive taking a small child to A&E on a week day evening. Yes that should happen immediately if needed, but I think all of us have really wished we didn't have to and paused to mull whether it is absolutely essential.

Ultimately - she did take her DC just a few hours after the possibility of doing so was raised.

I really feel for OP with the pile on that's resulted here...

I’m a gran now but still keep ice pops (and icecream) in the freezer and some tubs of jelly. Always handy when anyone has sore throat, I even resorted to sucking an ice pop at 3am when a nasty bug was going around over Christmas

My dd won't take calpol so it's paralink suppositories all the way. Loads of vaseline and then pop it in no matter how upset.

There is a lot of attacking of the OP here.
If DH had really thought the child was that ill, he could have overridden her, picked the child up and taken him for medical care without her. Good fathers do that all the time.
The main thing is the child has now been seen, diagnosed and is being treated.

Isn't the whole point of Mumsnet getting support, advice and solidarity from others?

If her DC only had a low grade fever (37.5) without having any paracetamol, then why would she have needed to pursue it so aggressively? It's not a magic fix to an illness which ultimately needed antibiotics?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing - I really think OP needs to be cut some slack here.

I’m so glad your little boy is feeling better.

I always think that if one of you thinks it needs a trip to A&E then you should go, even if the other person is overreacting.

I am the same as you. A&E is a horrible place, especially when you’re feeling poorly. It’s cold, rock hard chairs and waits that are hours long.

But I do think you should reflect on how your DH is treated.
You listened to both Google and strangers on MN over him.

@NutritiousSardines when my son was 3 months old we had a very bad experience with the NHS so I think I just don’t trust them anymore but I also do trust my instincts. I knew he wasn’t dying of course and just thought staying at home as long as drinking fluids and resting was best.
But when he was 3 months old, after calling 111, to having paramedics come to my home to check him, 2 trips to A&E to be told he was absolutely fine, to then going back a third time as he started to turn blue, couldn’t breath, he was rushed in, emergency buttons pushed, nurses and doctors running to him, and went straight onto oxygen as he was fighting for breath. He had bronchitis and it took 4 attempts to get him diagnosed and cared for. So I just know when it’s life threatening or not so I am definitely not neglectful as what some others have been saying. But I think due to bad experience and lack of trust that could be my reason for thinking home was best. But if it was a life threatening emergency, I would do absolutely everything to get him seen as I have done before x

@Imstillmagic read my update. I do not neglect my children. My daughter also had a serious infection at 10 days old, I went straight to the hospital no questions asked, but when I sense it’s not an emergency which my gut instinct told me, I tend to not know what is right or I feel home care can sometimes be best if it’s not urgent. Luckily islt wasn't urgent. He is him now, on the sofa, eating, drinking and watching TV. So my gut instinct was definitely right and I do think guidance on NHS as I follow is correct. His temperature didn’t exceed 39, was still drinking, still able to watch TV, it hadn’t reached day 5 yet so I wasn't overly concerned.

they was supposed to put him on an IV, but after 8 failed attempts they said “just get him to drink water” 🤦‍♀️ exactly what I would have done at home. The only thing I am thankful for is being given antibiotics to clear his tonsillitis, but I suppose I could have got this from the GP who I would have seen today if he hadn’t improved

If my husband was so ill he hadn’t moved or eaten in several days I’d be considering a&e never mind my small child.

I still don’t get your logic - you could have easily gone to the Pharmacy or the doctors to get the antibiotics he needed an make him feel better sooner yet you still think your instincts were right

antibiotics kick in fast when young for tonsillitis and can be easily sourced - the lethargy was a real red flag here rather than the temperature

home or A&E are two ends of the scale use the options in between

@BudgetBuster tonsillitis is up and down. He might have been unwell Wednesday night, but woke up fine the next morning and went to pre school on the Thursday and Friday, his teachers even said there was no sign of illness, he wasn’t coughing etc. still eating, even Saturday day he was absolutely fine, it started Saturday night. Wednesday we think might have been a nightmare but could have been the start to him being unwell, as I said tonsillitis is up and down. One minute you’re fine, then the next minute it can just hit you. But please read my recent updates below. I do not neglect my children as you can see, I have always gone A&E if it’s been an emergency. My instinct was right, we didn’t really need to go A&E after all, just doctors which I would have taken him today anyway being day 4. But he is already on the mend, and this is only because of time, as per guidance, only go A&E if temperature goes on after 5 days. The reason I asked on Mumsnet was just to see what others would have done because you get told all sorts and I knew it wasn’t an emergency

With tonsillitis, if he gets it recurrently, you will get better at just knowing what it is and can pick it up really early. Try to have a look at his throat so you can see the physical signs and that gives you knowledge for the future. My son had it often enough (with temps up to 42, multiple out of hours trips for antibiotics as he always spiked on a Friday…) that the GP used to take my word for it. 48 hours on antibiotics and he would be pretty much ok if grumpy about finishing the course of medications

unless contraindicated we found ibuprofen was much, much more effective for him