Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

4 year old suddenly wetting herself

29 replies

RedRobyn24 · 02/10/2025 14:58

She’s 4.5 and has been toilet trained since just after she turned 2, so a long time. She’s just started school and she’s had 2 weeks accidents at school in the last 4 weeks since starting and she’s also had a couple at home and 3 in the middle of the night when she’s got up to go to the bathroom.

weirdly she never ever gets up to go for a wee in the night so the night time ones seem even more odd

Please reassure me, or brainstorm with me, what is happening here? I am worried. She has seemed to really settle into school and seems to enjoy it, she has been tired but we have kept all weekends super low key so she gets some down time.

I feel upset for her that she’s having these accidents, does it mean she’s actually stressed?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GailTheFish · 02/10/2025 15:01

My first thought was a UTI, might be worth a GP appointment?

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 02/10/2025 15:03

I thought same UTI.

I'd at least rule it out - otherwise it just might be getting used to a new routine in school - though not sure that would explain night waking.

flightless55 · 02/10/2025 15:04

As per previous poster - quick chat with docs may be best - UTI maybe?

other thought though, you mentioned tiredness too - is she drinking / more thirsty recently?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Families General parenting Potty training

mugglewump · 02/10/2025 15:04

Is she constipated? If she is finding it painful to poo, she might be trying to avoid going to the toilet altogether. Feeling anxious about school toilets, and therefore toilets in gneral, might be the cause too.

Winterscomingbrrr · 02/10/2025 15:05

Constipation, worms, UTI all could be possibilities.

Meadowfinch · 02/10/2025 15:11

OP, she could just be very tired or she could be building up to a cold. On the few occasions ds had an accident during reception and year 1, he went down with a cold a day or two later.

steppemum · 02/10/2025 15:28

I had to teach one of my kids that they HAD to go to the loo at break and lunch, because otherwise she had accidents. He lovely TA also had a quick word at the beginning of break and lunch to remind her.
Why was she having accidnets? Well I think she didn't like to go out of the classroom to go to the loo, afraid of missing something, or asking to go when other things are going on.

But also holding in wee becuase they don't like the loos is common.

nightmarepickle2025 · 02/10/2025 15:33

GP - should get a blood glucose test to be on the safe side.

dizzydizzydizzy · 02/10/2025 18:17

DC1 did tbis too. It'ls the stres of starting school. It was sorted by Xmas.

Pryceosh1987 · 03/10/2025 00:54

Perhaps she could wear a nappy incase the accidents happen again. But really she should learn on how to control the urges. Sweet drinks tend to make us want the toilet more.

Francestein · 03/10/2025 00:56

I imagine it has a lot to do with her regular eating/drinking/toileting/sleeping routine being out of whack. She’s probably exhausted. I would encourage her to drink more during the day.

Original poster

RedRobyn24 · 03/10/2025 05:40

Pryceosh1987 · 03/10/2025 00:54

Perhaps she could wear a nappy incase the accidents happen again. But really she should learn on how to control the urges. Sweet drinks tend to make us want the toilet more.

Don’t be completely absurd.

She hasn’t used a nappy for almost 3 years why on earth would I even contemplate that??

OP posts:

AussieManque · 03/10/2025 05:52

Any other signs of diabetes? Otherwise I'd check for UTI or it could be the big change if going to school.

herewegoagain432 · 03/10/2025 05:53

RedRobyn24 · 03/10/2025 05:40

Don’t be completely absurd.

She hasn’t used a nappy for almost 3 years why on earth would I even contemplate that??

Show quote history

Because she is struggling with continence at the moment.

Original poster

RedRobyn24 · 03/10/2025 05:56

herewegoagain432 · 03/10/2025 05:53

Because she is struggling with continence at the moment.

Show quote history

She’s had 2 accidents at school. Would you put your child in nappies for that? I think we parent very differently, I think that would be incredibly disrespectful to even suggest to her that she wears nappies and I have respect for my child.

OP posts:

Allswellthatendswelll · 03/10/2025 06:06

Pryceosh1987 · 03/10/2025 00:54

Perhaps she could wear a nappy incase the accidents happen again. But really she should learn on how to control the urges. Sweet drinks tend to make us want the toilet more.

Terrible advice!!

I think it's probably starting school- there is a bit more going on then a nursery. DS has been the same- accidents every few days (he's not dry at night yet). He's actually been better the last week.

pinkcow123 · 03/10/2025 07:29

If it’s any consolation, my same age child, is doing the exact same thing!

When we speak to them, they say they just didn’t make it to the toilet in time. Sometimes there was a queue, teacher says having too much fun.

My DC has had urine issues previously, so I’ve got dip tests and there is no infection.

Teacher said it’s quite normal in the settling in stage.

Previously the bladder nurse said it came be down to not drinking enough… (as strange as that sounds). I know my DC was barely having a sip of water until I asked the teacher to prompt.

But I would do as other posters suggest and rule out UTI / diabetes first as obviously I’m not a medically trained person!

Figcherry · 03/10/2025 07:38

pinkcow123 · 03/10/2025 07:29

If it’s any consolation, my same age child, is doing the exact same thing!

When we speak to them, they say they just didn’t make it to the toilet in time. Sometimes there was a queue, teacher says having too much fun.

My DC has had urine issues previously, so I’ve got dip tests and there is no infection.

Teacher said it’s quite normal in the settling in stage.

Previously the bladder nurse said it came be down to not drinking enough… (as strange as that sounds). I know my DC was barely having a sip of water until I asked the teacher to prompt.

But I would do as other posters suggest and rule out UTI / diabetes first as obviously I’m not a medically trained person!

Yes. If you don’t drink enough then the urine becomes more concentrated and irritates the bladder more.

Tcateh · 03/10/2025 07:38

Ask her if she knows she needed to go.
Mine had a very emotional thing going on at 4 and just wasn't aware she was doing it.

She relapsed I guess. No uti

I did put her in pull ups as it was non stop.

But that's different to two accidents.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 03/10/2025 13:42

I'd pop her down to GP with a urine sample and get them to rule out any UTI and then a discussion to rule out anything else medical.

Once that' been done - if it's all fine it will just be her adjusting to new busy school day with all it's distractions and she will get there - and it's not uncommon.

Yellowrose225588 · 03/10/2025 13:59

Mine did the exact same thing with starting school, GP was happy to see and we had the urine test and doctor looked her over, but all was normal. Settled down in a few weeks and teacher said it’s common, school weren’t phased.

Worth having a chat with your child about school toilets, there was apparently a ‘big spider’ in one of the school cubicles such that none of the children would use it. Some of the accidents my child had were while waiting in the queue for another cubicle (yes she should have gone sooner but they’re not the best at foreseeing such things). Once the teacher had visibly gone in with a broom and ‘cleaned it’ and got rid of the mythical spider they were all happy to use it again.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 03/10/2025 16:43

I had the same when my daughter started school and she'd been toilet trained at least a year. The school said it was super common as they are distracted and there's a lot going on even if they've been in nursery. Certainly she would suddenly crash out in the car/bus or given any opportunity after school not having had an afternoon nap for years. The teacher child ratios must be bigger than nursery so not the same level of watching out for the signs of a wriggly child too I imagine.

Didn't have overnight issues though that I recall. Be patient and if you have the disposable mattress protectors they are well worth using for a bit.

user2848502016 · 03/10/2025 16:59

With the overnight accidents I would want to rule out diabetes especially as getting up in the night is unusual for her.
Also make sure she is drinking enough during the day at school.

Skybluepinky · 03/10/2025 17:24

take to gp in case they have a uti.
Stop all squash as it’s a diuretic, it could be she isn’t use to asking for the toilet at school as most preschools and nurseries they just take themselves to the toilet.

Original poster

RedRobyn24 · 05/10/2025 10:14

user2848502016 · 03/10/2025 16:59

With the overnight accidents I would want to rule out diabetes especially as getting up in the night is unusual for her.
Also make sure she is drinking enough during the day at school.

This has really worried me I had never considered it could be something like that. Isn’t diabetes hereditary though?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread