My 3 year old won't eat anything

[Newishmom]

I am very worried about my child she's not eating anything I try talking to her tried a pediatrician trying to everything the only way to get anything into her is formula is she can survive of this? If not can anyone else tell me their stories?

Is she 3, 3.5 or nearly 4? Just want to give you a couple of links that differ with age

@BunnyRuddingtonshe's 3 as of Friday

Worrying for you - but you're not alone.
I'd offer foods very similar to what she is currently eating - in small quantities and with no pressure.
In my experience kids with restrictive eating are very afraid of food and unfamiliarity. Dry crunchy foods and things that always taste the same are often favoured. Bread sticks, dry cereal, milk.
Mixed up/wet foods/fruit and veg often less so.
Getting calories in is more important than balanced nutrition in the short term - hopefully you'll get some better advice from specialists soon.

3 year olds don’t refuse to eat food because they are full of formula. There are some children who will not “eat if they are hungry”. Mine became dangerously underweight because she wouldn’t eat very much. On the advice of the paediatric dietitian we were told to make sure she was getting nutrients from whatever she would drink and were prescribed a fortified supplement drink.

Hope the birthday went well

I think it’s easy to focus on ARFiD because for now that’s probably the most obvious but as a PP stated, ARFID is usually seem alongside ND.

If you do these two assessments, hiw does she score?

3 year Ages & Stages

and the 3 year Social and Emotional Ages & Stages.

You should be able to get a referral to a dietitian for dietary advice. The dietitian should be able to refer you on to a paediatrician if further assessment is needed. But be prepared for your concerns to be minimised or dismissed. So many people seem to believe that hunger is all it takes to get a child to eat.

In the meantime there are things you can do to encourage her to eat. You could try playing with food. I find leaving food out can help. My youngest child hates being asked what he wants to eat but if I leave a selection of food near him then he will often eat some of it. I think it’s really important not to put any pressure on the child at all - that’s part of the Division of Responsibility model. It can also be helpful to temporarily discard your ideas of a healthy diet. If a child will only eat ham sandwiches then don’t worry about the processed meat but focus on gently expanding their number of safe foods. They probably won’t end up only eating ham sandwiches forever!

Support groups can be really helpful, even if your child doesn’t end up having the condition. There’s a UK ARFID group on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1C9CaDjZjL/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Reminds me of my son, he’s 27 now and absolutely fine, he just wouldn’t eat, I was going through about 18 pints of whole milk a week as that’s all he would have, I spoke to my health visitor at the time, she assessed him and saw he was running around reaching his milestones, she wasn’t really worried, this carried on but he probably was about 3 when he decided to start eating meals, I didn’t make a big thing of it really, he wasn’t losing weight or anything, and he’s a big young man now 😊
she will eat when she’s ready.

Yes but that's a specific drink which I understand, not formula, and in my experience yes some children if given lots of milk do refuse food.

Formula isn't enough and when I was struggling with my child's food issues and eventually had a referral to a paediatric nutritionist I was told to stop trying to top up with Formula if food intake was inadequate.

Step one is to completely remove all stress and pressure on the child and give her some freedom, within reason. Don't insist on sittimg up nicely and other table manners, those cam be taught later. Prepare platters with choices of a few different things, not touching each other. Eg breadsticks, cheese cubes, pepper and carrot sticks, bits of chicken. Place that near the child while she is playing and say she can eat anything she likes but doesn't have to have anything she doesn't want, then don't hover or helicopter, just sit quietly and read a book. Don't encourage her to rry things or pay masses of attention when she does. Don't expect anything and don't ask her to have one more bite.

Whatever she does eat, make sure future platters have that on, along with other possibilities.

Look into finding a play therapy professional who might be able to help her express the issues that are causing her to feel as she does. She might not have the words to describe it yet.

update she eat something! It had taken a bluey bowl and this bluey serial stuff thanks to Tesco

It was only one spoon but still

Just keeping you all updated @Beamur@BoredZelda@BunnyRuddington@GameWheelsAlarm@Gremlinsateit@HighburyHope@LoafofSellotape@Meadowfinch@MrsTerryPratchett@Nothankyov@PerspicaciaTick@StuntNun@Unexpectedlysinglemum@pinenuts75thanks for your help so far

Great news @Newishmom try to keep the pressure off and don’t make a big deal (even if you’re celebrating on the inside!) Just to add to the excellent advice from @GameWheelsAlarm it can potentially be really important that the food isn’t touching as a “safe” food can be made unsafe by touching, or even being on the same plate, as an unsafe food.

@StuntNuni might just stick with serial for a little

It's good to have variety available even if she's only going to eat cereal. If you put 5 little pots on a tray one of which holds cereal, one some bits of fruit, one something savoury etc, then she might just only eat the cereal but she might relax enough to try another thing too.

I only ate weetabix for a year when I was that age. I am fine now. if she only eats cereal she will be ok in the long run, but find ways to put other foods near her in a zero-pressure way.

Hurray for Bluey :)

That’s a great start @Newishmom

Is it ok to let her pick if she wants a bottle or serial @GameWheelsAlarm@BunnyRuddington

To be honest I wouldn't offer this choice at a mealtime. Cereal isn't very nutritious but that's not a criticism, it's a great start and you are doing fine. My suggestion of putting out multiple small bowls (oneif which can always be cereal) is to stop her from having to make a conscious decision or to communicate about that decision, both of which are introducing a stress she is finding difficult to cope with. If you put out a variety with no need for communication, not asking, no pressure, no expectations, that removes the stress.

But at bed time, just before teeth cleaning, a milky drink then is fine (milk rather than formula unless she has a milk allergy)

So I tried to give her the same cereal and a few other things and she refused any of it I don't know if this means I'm back this step one or what's happening And i used the same bluey stuff?@GameWheelsAlarm

You have made a really good start, you aren't back to square one, your DD has just taken a diversion.
This is a long, slow game. Sometimes she'll eat, sometimes she won't, sometimes she'll try something new, sometimes she'll refuse something familiar. It is all pretty normal and you just need to calmly, patiently keep making food available.

@PerspicaciaTick I think I might cry I thought I was going to be able to bring her to the park without feeling like everyone's watching me

Honestly? The other parents at the park are far too busy dealing with their own DCs weirdnesses and tantrums to worry about what your DD is eating .
For the moment this is tiny steps, and you are doing great.

Do you guys think any of this could be because of my teen pregnancy?

You're not back at step one. You are making progress. Your stress is not helping though. There isn't a right answer, we all just muddle through and no one is judging you. 3 year olds are tricky whatever age you are as a mum, they are just at the age where they have worked out that they can have an impact on the world rather than just experiencing the world. Food refusal is very very common. Don't give up just because she didn't eat anything in the last couple of hours. Leave food near her but do not try to persuade or nudge her to eat, she'll pick up on your emotional intensity and that will put her off.

Does she know some letters yet? When my little one was that age and doing food refusal, he knew the first letter of his name and I cut pieces of chicken (the inside of a nugget, cooked in the micriwave and batter peeled off) into the shape of that letter and he ate it because he liked recognising the letter of his name. I also did the same with pieces of pepper, carrot and bits of toast. Not all of which got tried, but anything in the shane of that letter attracted a little bit of attention.