Nearly 5 year old not dry at night.

[Greentomatoes21]

We have been trying to get our 4 (5 in October) year old son out of pull ups at night. I know it can be harder with boys, deep sleepers (definitely) and that it is been linked to the development of a hormone that he may or may not have developed yet. However, any tips outside of this would be gratefully received! We have been trying for about two weeks, so not that long, but no progress at all in that time and I'm not sure if persistence is the key here or if we should just put him back in pull ups and try again in a month or so. We obviously don't get cross with him, reassure and just move on. The reason for trying to move him out of pull ups is mainly because he is starting school end of Aug and I would hate for him to begin to feel self conscious if he becomes more aware 🥲 Other than that I wouldn't really care how long it takes him! (He has been day trained since around 2.5 and in that situation I was of the "consistency is key" opinion so we kept at it for a week or so and he cracked it quickly. Night time - I've no idea if consistency will make the slightest difference!!)

What worked for you?

My 6yo is still not dry at night. It seems to run in the family - my dad was still wetting the bed at 8

Being dry at night relies on the production of a hormone as you have correctly said.

You cannot train your son to produce a hormone.

Put the pull-ups back on and only take them off when he has been dry at night for several nights in a row.

If he isn't dry by the time he's seven go and see your GP.

In the meantime you can limit drinks in the hour before bedtime and encourage him to use the toilet before bed.

My 5yo twins, girl twin, dry for a year. Boy twin still in pull ups, probably dry 2 nights each week.

Don't sweat the small stuff. See where he is naturally in 6 months.

My 9 and 6 year olds aren’t dry. Both girls. The eldest one has been under the continence team, referrals in our area are after 6 years old.

in the meantime have a look at the ERIC website, lots of advice there. Rule out the possibility of constipation. Drink plenty during the day. No drinks from an hour before bedtime. Extra toilets trips at bedtime to ensure bladder is fully empty.

My son was 6 don’t worry about it yet

My daughter is just 5 and still in nappies at night. I’ve tried all kinds of bribery.

I’m not willing to do the remove liquids after 5pm thing as when she’s at school I don’t have enough control to ensure she’s drinking enough.

I guess just have to wait til the hormone kicks in!

Thank you all. Reassuring.

Night time dryness is hormone related, you can’t train it and there’s nothing you can do except wait. The doctor won’t see it as an issue until 7/8. Just keep the pull ups and don’t worry about it.

Just to add another don't worry - my 5 and a half year old is still in pull ups, I don't even think about it, she's dry 9.5/10 times, it's just not worth her having a wet bed and everything that goes with it, life is tough enough

It's very normal, especially in boys. My older two weren't reliably dry at night until around 8 or 9, their cousin was the same, but it all sorted itself out in the end. Keep on as you're doing, matter of fact and no fuss. It's such a common issue that it's not worth seeing your GP about it until he's at least seven. As you know, it's linked to the development of a hormone. Oh, and he won't be the only one in his class so I wouldn't worry about that.

I understand it’s closer to 8/9 for the hormone to kick in and most incontinence services wouldn’t take on much younger for night time only needs as it’s normal!

boys tend to be later than girls
eric website is fab and gps refer to it also, so check it out.
you can buy sensors etc but advice tends to be:
lots of drink in the mornings (to train bladder) no blackcurrant cordial at all, no drinks after 6pm. I doubled the water bottle count for school.

eventually dry (but late for us, aged 11, even now at 13, the odd wet night if overtired, stressed etc)

It is interesting how it is so specific to each child. I agree the wet sheets and disrupted sleep for all (especially him - don't want him up at night or up super early when he is needing lots of recharging after school!) just aren't worth it. I think I just saw this benchmark of school looming and drew a line in the sand - pointless by the sounds of things. Appreciate you all taking the time to reply and for the kind words and reassurance!

Hopefully this will reassure you too, supermarkets give over valuable shelf space to pull ups for much older children. There is a requirement for these and still a bit of a stigma attached to bed wetting.

As above, ERIC website for information on incontinence. Ds1 wasn't dry until he was 10. Ds2 was dry at night before he was 3. We medicated Ds1 with the synthetic hormone Desmopressin which mimics Vasopressin which we produce naturally. It reduces urine production at night so the bladder doesn't get full and therefore doesn't need to be emptied. Ds1 was a very deep sleeper too.

This worked so we knew that it was the hormone issue but we only medicated him when we went on holiday or for school residentials. We went to the GP when he was 7.

Best advice, put your son back into pull ups until the pull ups are dry in the morning and know you are definitely not alone and it is completely normal.

Ditto - my nearly 6 year old is still in pull ups. Seen zero signs of being ready either - her pull up is almost always heavily full in the morning.

We’ve tried no fluids from around 18:00 but it isn’t making a huge difference. Assuming we just have to wait for this hormone to kick in..?

We’ve been away with friends with similar aged children who are out of pull ups so have had similar concerns about her feeling self-conscious about it, but what can you do…

Our 4 year old (and also 5 in October) daughter is exactly the same. Pants and dry through the day but in a pull up at night. Our eldest (was 6 in April) and she only became dry at night when she was around 5 and a half. You aren’t alone, and you will get there 😊

Have you considered a bed wetting alarm? We tried everything and then my husband suggested an alarm as he had the same problem and it sorted him out. Within 2 weeks my DD was dry and has had no problems since. I then lent it to a friend for her DS and again, he was dry within weeks. She was astounded. I see these threads a lot and no one seems to suggest them.

4 is the average age to be dry at night. It’s really very normal and his reception class will a good number still in pull ups, not that it matters since it’s years before school residentials, beavers camp, sleepovers etc. I have a 4.5 year old and an older child and I really don’t think it’s something they ever discuss with their mates!

It’s not totally true that you can’t train it. IF he is producing the hormone then with some tweaks like limiting drinks after dinner but plenty to drink in the day to increase bladder capacity, wee before bath and again afterwards to check, wake him up just before his usual time time and rush him to the loo etc. you may be able to get him dry. A good guide is if he’s dry through most of the night (check him as you go to bed) and it’s only a small amount in the pull then he may already be producing it. If he has already wet early on in the night and the pull is soaked to capacity come morning then likely he’s not there yet so just give it more time. Chances are he will be dry on his own within the next year. Doctors won’t consider it an issue until age 7.

Loads of children start school not dry at night. Why would it make any difference until they are 9+ and doing residential trips?

My son (4y 4m) wears pull-ups at night, despite being dry in the day fo4 two years. He starts reception in September. I’m not bothered at all - I know that loads of his friends at pre-school still need them unless that’s magically changed over summer!

My daughter (2y 2m) started potty training of her own volition at the beginning of the month, and has been immediately dry at night with no pull-ups.

They’re just different kids!

DD is 5 (6 in December) wears pull ups. Will go a fair few nights dry and we think her hormones are in, but then she'll wake up very wet. So we just keep her in them until each pack is run through and judge it then. She's currently been dry for about 2 weeks, bit has 2 weeks of nappies left, so she'll keep them and we'll decide then... If she's not been wet.

She actually woke up one night (she normally comes through to us), she got up and realised she needed answers, and went back to bed

I think it's soon she'll be out of them.

With mine (both boys) we didn't do any actual night training, just left them in pullups at night until they had dry pullups every night for several weeks. No restricting fluids, no insistence on bedtime wees etc. One was 3.5, the other was around 5 and had started school. Neither of the has ever wet the bed since.

I would honestly just leave it and stick with pullups. My understanding is that no professional will get involved until they are at least 7. I can't see any reason why they would need to be dry at night before starting school? My nephew was about 9 before he was dry at night.

DS is 5.5 and only recently started being dry more often than not - I’d say we have a damp bed about once every 10 days or so. He is used to not having a pull-up now so I layer up the waterproof undersheets/pads and have plenty of spare bedding.

I was also worried when he started school last year but it’s unlikely to come up in conversation with 5yos.

My DD was 5 and a half before she was dry at night. I tried for a while leaving off the pull ups, but the bed was always wet a few hours after she had gone to bed. Gave up and put her back in pull ups until they were consistently dry in the morning.

My son only got dry at night at 7, his twin sister had been dry since they were three.
What worked for us was him drinking more and in particular drinking two drinks first thing before leaving the house (on the advice from the school nurse).
It is sooo common, a health visitor told me whatever their age is, 1 in that number still have issues with being dry at night and I have found that so true.
In Gloucestershire we could self refer to the school nurse so worth bearing in mind

My younger child took a while to be dry at night. We saw the continence nurse and she said that - in addition to the hormone which is absolutely a key - is to encourage them to have big drinks rather than constantly taking little sips all day. She explained this can help to increase bladder capacity.

I saw a PP mention thf alarm, I think this is more recommended for older kids bit could be wrong!!