Baby bored out of his mind by 5pm

[Carrotsurprise]

Anyone got any tips for this? I have a 9 month old and a 6 year old in the summer holidays and we're in a bit of a routine - early morning we're all getting ready for the day and baby has breakfast and is plays with his toys just fine. Then after his first nap we go out somewhere and come home for lunch. Then after second nap we're at a loss. We have a tiny house with no useable garden and everything is so hazardous outside of the living room so we're just in there at that time of day. We've already been out earlier so there's not a huge scope to go out again, it's really hard finding places a crawling baby can go to anyway where they're not just in the pram the whole time. The morning outing is basically park, library or soft play. He has lots of toys and books and we rotate them but still, after 4 or 5pm he's so bored of everything and whinges and whinges and whinges except when he gets hold of something he's not allowed to play with and then he makes such delighted excited noises I feel awful I'm not providing him with enough stimulation. All he's interested in at that time of day is trying to break past babyproofing. I can't stand it and presumably neither can he. And he doesn't go to bed till 8 so there are a lot of hours to fill. What can I do to give him something fresh to do that time of day?

Everyone in my mum's group dropped to 2 naps at 7 months, some closer to 8, some earlier. Mine dropped it at 6.5 months actually. Maybe this child does need a 3rd nap but they would be the exception.

And I can very well relate to having an extremely active 9 month old. You really do just need to go out, mine would not be happy in the house 22 hours a day.

By 9 months old, if I’d tried to keep either of mine in one room all afternoon every day, they would have absolutely been clamouring for a change of scenery.

My suggestions would be anything with water, a trip outside to see the world or just dance together. The last one is the last thing I ever felt like doing (I am not a good dancer) but it actually totally reset my frazzled brain and my kid found it hilarious dancing together. It’s how I used to pass the last hour before my husband got home. As my DC got older, we’d get some random instruments involved (again, I’m not a musical person) and it was a great way to pass that painful hour.

I think maybe he is tired not bored. Perhaps you are the one who is bored.. I was very bored at home with small children. Get out to some baby groups so you can talk to other humans above the age of 6. It will entertain children to see other children/places/people.

This.

Go out again. At that age I didn’t come home for lunch with mine- we stayed out all day. You’re wasting the summer. Go out with packed lunches and baby can nap in the pram. If you insist on being home for lunch, go out again in the second half of the day.

There’s so much to do that your baby and 6 year old would enjoy: parks, feed the ducks, swimming, outdoor picnic (we used to bring a small bubble machine to the park and have picnic dinners), nature trails, museums, train ride or car ride to a beach…

I love a slow, easy-going day more than anything but, if what you’ve outlined is your usual routine most days, I’d also be bored out of my skull.

Agree. He’ll be tired and/or hungry, not bored - would probably whinge even if you took him to the most amazing baby stimulating place ever.

Do get out though, for the sake of your 6 yo.

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone, mostly seems we have to go out again! To answer a few things:

• he definitely doesn't need a third nap, has been firmly on 2 for a while
• he definitely is bored, I can tell because of how he's suddenly really calm and happy when he has the TV remote or something
• the garden is decking in poor condition, planks fall off and I find rusty screws everywhere. Can't afford to fix right now
• the rest of the house isn't hazardous in the sense of being dangerous in general, just impossible for a baby to play in safely. DD's room is where we keep all the choking hazard toys and she doesn't like him touching her things anyway. His "room" is still an office for WFH and he's in our room, no floor space in either room. No floor space in the kitchen.
• DD has other stuff going on like playdates and clubs, this is more HIS routine and sometimes she's with us. She isn't a fan of leaving the house though tbh on days when she's around it's a battle to get her to go to the park once.
• we don't have a car so limited in where we can go
• he hates the pram and I have to minimise his time in it or he goes bananas

These are all the reasons I'm struggling really! Maybe we'll try to go back out to a different park in the afternoon. A tray of messy play stuff also maybe sounds good.

• he definitely is bored, I can tell because of how he's suddenly really calm and happy when he has the TV remote or something

This doesn’t mean he’s bored rather than tired or hungry. He may well be tired or hungry but something new is enough to distract him temporarily. I had a baby who was like this - she was a terrible sleeper and was constantly tired, I could keep her happy with continuous entertainment and interaction (hard work!!) but the underlying issue was tiredness.

He has a long nap until 3.30-4, he's not tired an hour later.

Buy a massive outdoor / washable rug. Or those foam tiles that click together. Put on top of the decking. Or put a playpen for the baby outside?

Did you have this age gap? There is not an activity in the world that both my kids enjoy. When we have our daily outing then if it's something that's primarily for DD like e.g. we went to sealife centre recently, baby is stuck in the pram and hates it. He wants to crawl around. If we're somewhere he can crawl around, I have to follow him around at all times and can't play with DD properly, and she hates that. So someone is always unhappy. I mean I do agree we should go out more, but it's not like we have a lovely time when we're out.

If you have a garden prioritise making it usable. Remove the decking and nails yourself. Replace with some foam playmat or outdoor rug from b and m

Give baby things like wooden spoon saucepan lid or tupperware to play with

Put baby in the bath supervised at 5 pm with small amount of water and plastic cups to play

Guarantee it’s a damn sight better than staying in though.

Probably yes

Put them in the bath later on. They love that.

To be fair OP, the worst bit of 2 DC for me was when DC2 wasn’t yet walking but also definitely wasn’t a sleepy newborn anymore. Age 5 - 14 ish months were fire fighting completely opposite needs and it felt like someone was always crying. But I also agree with a PP, I’d far rather be managing them out of the house in the sunshine with other people around then all cooped up in one room!

I would go for the carrot and stick approach to get your eldest out more. She should really be outside exercising for hours in the summer. Or failing that is there anyone that could sit with her in the house?

Would DC2 prefer to be on your back in a carrier instead of the pram? Both of mine LOVED a high back carrier at this age.

Are you sure they're not tired? At that age a 6.30/7 bed is more standard (12 hr sleep) as well as a 2-3 hour nap during the day.

I think the problem is some people don't have really active babies and don't get it. We call my son "the destroyer" because since he started crawling (at 6.5 months), he's been impossible to contain and just seems to be on a destruction and self harm path 😂 he was walking at 10 months, and quite confidently so now at 11 months and things have changed for the better. Entertaining a crawling baby who wants to do lots can be quite hard work.

Just on the pram refusal- we got mine a doona trike when he turned 11 months as he started hating the pram too.

I can’t understand how so many PPs can’t believe a 9 month old is incapable of frustration or boredom. I wish I could produce babies that apparently only fuss or cry if basic needs such as tiredness or hunger havent been met. Both of mine left that stage by about 4 months old and would definitely have been furious if I’d tried to keep them contained in one room for multiple hours per day by the time they were crawling!

It must be desperately boring for an adult. A six-year-old and a baby to be stuck in one room all day from lunchtime to bedtime. I would be absolutely demented with that after a few days.

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Sounds really hard OP.

Swimming could be a good option for you.

Arrange to meet some of your DD's friends at softplay or the park so you can follow the baby and she has someone to play with.

Make a treasure basket for your little one and just bring that out at 5pm when he's bored of everything else.

Check out any local museums or similar they're often good for a baby to crawl about and an older one to have an activity to do (plus change of scenery for everyone).

Which way is your baby facing in the buggy? Have you tried the other way to see if that helps with his buggy-hate?

sounds overtired to me too.

are you anywhere near a beach?

I just put baby in the sling & went into the woods/to park/to canal/to playpark & then plonked baby down to crawl - one of those zip up waterproof suits & soft waterproof boots like stonz. Mine all loved crawling along a fallen tree best of all.

if you have to be home chose a kitchen cupboard to leave with baby proof stuff - all the plastic boxes etc & let them at it. Pan plus a wooden spoon is always a winner!

Can you plonk a paddling pool in the garden to contain baby & give him things to look at there too?

I have similar age gaps (both shorter & longer) and it was lovely then & it's lovely now they're older, you'll figure it out.

It sounds awful OP.

Tbh whether he hates the buggy or not, I'd go out for a long walk every afternoon.
Put him facing away from you so he can see around him instead of just you. At this age, he knows you are there and its better for him to look around.
My advice is to do something he'd enjoy in the morning outing and go where YOU want to go instead of somewhere you think he'd like to go.
So if you need to go to the supermarket, then he'll just have to scream all he wants to in the pram.

Can you take a bus to the nearest town and go for a coffee.
Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy trying to keep him happy while not being happy yourself.