What's a 5 year age gap like between kids?

[Sprockergirl]

After years of saying we were one and done, DH and I are thinking we'd like to have another baby. DD is almost 4 so we would be looking at around 5 year age gap.

DH is concerned it's too big and they won't be into the same things so it'll make life really hard for us. I'm not so sure, I've got friends with similar or bigger gaps between their kids and they seem fine.

Could anyone with this gap share what it's like please? Tia!

5 years almost exactly between my DD’s. It was great until around 7 and 12.

Tricker from then (dd1 is also ND) as they’re into very different things and have very different personalities. I think the teenage years are always tricky and they may grow closer again - or not. Wouldn’t change it though as it made the younger years a breeze.

5 years between mine as well and they are th e best of friends! They are the same gender but very different in personality. I expect it to get harder when the eldest is at secondary school though.

Thanks all !

That's the gap between me and my brother and we were super close as kids. The gap being a bit bigger meant there was no competition and I was protective over him.

We have a 4.5 year age gap here and it works brilliantly for our family. DS absolutely adores his younger sister – he’s genuinely kind and gentle with her, and while I’m sure they’ll have very different interests as they grow, they just seem to click. There’s been very little jealousy, which I think is partly down to him feeling quite secure in his role as the “big one.”

I’m one of 3 myself – I’m really close to my youngest sister who is 7 years younger than me, but not with my other sister, even though there’s only 20 months between us. We just never had much in common. My DH, on the other hand, is incredibly close to his sister and they’re 20 months apart. So I really think it comes down to personality more than age gap.

At the end of the day, if you’re thinking about having another child, that instinct usually means it’s the right thing for your family, whatever the gap. Good luck

We have 3, two close in age (21 months between them) and then a 3rd 5.5 years later.

They are 15, 13 and nearly 8 now.

When younger the gap was a breeze, bigger kids played together, adored 'their baby' and we're as helpful as 5 and 7 year olds ever are.

Harder now, as the younger one is somewhat of an annoyance to them, especially the 13 year old. Mainly because the oldest is much busier and more independent, whereas he is around a lot more so the 2 of them don't half bicker. At times they get on brilliantly, but obviously an early teen and a primary schooler have difference abilities and interests.

The younger one can seem a little like an only child at times, in that he needs us/me a lot for playing etc as obviously the older ones don't play the same sort of things any more.

Long term it'll be fine, and is fine, but the bickering can be very grating! DH and I often say we have to let it wash over us a little more, and not try to dive in an referee.

Mine are 5 1/2 years apart. It was difficult around the age of 3 and 8 when doing things they both could do like swimming. Keeping the 8 year old in view whilst the tyrant 3 yr old wanted to do everything her sister did. Easier now they’re 8 and 13. And they do have a lovely bond (when they’re not annoying each other), my eldest will flatten anyone who hurts her little sister and my youngest would annihilate anyone who is mean to her big sister.

Very individual to families, I think. I have a sister 4 yrs older. W had some things in common and bumbled along together but were never close. She started senior school when I started juniors so at that point our lives divided. She was off to uni when I was about 15 and from that point we never lived in the same house.
I also have a brother, 6 yrs younger. Honestly, nothing in common with him at all. To some extent the three of us grew up quite separately. Pros/cons? It was ok but we aren't close now, really.

I tend to think 5 years is still within the standard age gap range, 6 years up is a large gap. Being one of 2 siblings with a large gap between, I'm very much in favour of larger gaps. We always got on, I miss him very much.

DD's have a 5 year age gap. We're only 9m in and DD1 adores her little sister. She's the first person she wants to see when she wakes up or gets home from school.

I have no illusions that DD2 will annoy the living daylights out of DD1 when she hits her teens, but I think that would apply regardless of the age gap. But hopefully they'll come together again later in life.

Ultimately, we didn't have DD2 so DD1 could have a playmate, we had DD2 primarily because we wanted DD2 but also so that there was another person our DD's could rely on when they become adults.

We have a nearly 5 year age gap, DS1 is 5 and DD2 is 6 months. So far the gap has been perfect for us, DS was at school when she was born which worked well for us and he adores his little sister.

Also under no illusion they will not always be like this and annoy each other but the age gap worked for us for many reasons.

Worked out very well for us. Older DD was 3 months shy of turning 5 when DS was born. Pregnancy was easy because she could understand a lot of the restrictions I had, also she was super excited about ‘her baby’ coming. DS is a summer baby and DD started school soon after he was born so that meant I was on mat leave during reception year and I got a lot of one on one time with DS while she was at school which was great! There was hardly any jealousy or adjustment issues because she had a very different relationship with us at that age and fairly independent.

What was difficult was getting back to sleepless nights and nappies after years of sleeping through the night and fully potty trained chid!! Also younger ones toddler years were harder with the tantrums because the older one was cross he wasn’t being told off for misbehaving!! The explanation that he’s still too little didn’t seem to work. And now that they are 10 and 6 it sometimes gets difficult finding common activities/tv shows/movies.

But the pros definitely outweigh the cons!

5 years between my two, both boys. Now aged 16 and 21.

Early days - easy in one sense as DS1 was starting to get a little more independent and loved helping with his brother, and could actually help - in other words I could ask him to get a nappy and he’d know what to do .
It became trickier, and probably the hardest part at all when they were 2&7/3&8. I found it sooo hard to find places to go that were toddler suitable but also fun for my eldest. It seemed to either suit one of the other. Those were the toughest summer holidays ever!!

Now - lovely, DS2 thinks it’s amazing having a big brother who’s regarded as pretty cool and can drive . I’m not sure the feeling is absolutely mutual, but DS1 tolerates well….

I certainly don’t think that sort of age gap is the end of the world x

No one worries about a 5 year gap between oldest and youngest of three siblings