DD only interested if there is snacks/something to buy

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Last week we went away for 3 nights on a 8 hour round trip to visit two major attractions for DD (just turned 7 and only child). The whole trip was very expensive but we were all looking forward to it.

We had an ok time but it dawned on me while we were there that DD is only concerned about what food we can get and what we can buy from gift shops. She rushed us round the attractions so we could get to the cafes/gift shops where she would take her time wandering round and asking for things. I’m happy to let her have a treat but it felt like the primary reason for being there and meant she barely bothered with the attraction itself. It felt like a waste of money £400 in entry tickets) when we could have just gone to the shopping centre in our own city..

I thought by her age she would be past that stage. She is a bit silly for her age but generally well behaved. I’m worried this is our doing, although we are careful not to spoil her and we’re quite strict with unhealthy food/don’t spend a lot on gift shops and often don’t let her get anything.

Anyone else/ is this normal?

She’s still quite young to be fair. We’ve got three and when they were younger if we went anywhere (let’s say a theme park) we’d be queuing for a ride and it was constantly ‘what are we doing next?’ It was as though they couldn’t live in the moment. They grew out of it eventually, kids just do 🤷‍♀️

Does she watch YouTube or does she have social media? I feel like a lot of the stuff they watch is unboxing and hauls, and snacks and just about being mini consumers really. So she’s probably just copying that if so.

if not then I think in future go to the gift shops first, or figure out what it is she likes about that process and just find cheaper ways to do that with her. I do get that it’s frustrating but you paid that money for her to have fun, and if she was having fun at the gift shop then it’s a success. I think we have to let go of thinking they’re going to do things a certain way that we imagined. It is hard though, but I think parents have been complaining for decades about things like going to major attractions and kids just want to go to the park across the street, or their favourite thing was the bog standard ice cream they got to walk around with.

@Cinnabonswirl I don't think YouTube etc is likely to be to blame.
When I was a child (80s) there were these little plastic collectable animals that you could only seem to be able to buy at tourist shops/gift shops.
Any day trips we went on always involved me looking to get another animal.
I still have those animals.
My best friend also collected them.
No adverts or YouTube to influence us.

Bring a pack lunch and say you can spend your pocket money in the gift shop. If you've saved it?

You have to say no. Did she actually say she wanted to look at this experience/attraction? It seems very expensive already.

Maybe don't take her to such expensive things until she realises it's not just a gift shop and cafe experience. You can still take her to cafes and get her gifts as a treat seperately occasionally.

You need to teach her the value of money and that it is a finite resource. You can simply say no, there's no money left.

Me too!

I mean I loved a good gift shop when I was younger.

i still have my collection of novelty rubbers from all the places we visited in wales on my various holidays as a kid.

I also collected bird feathers, interesting stones and quite a lot of other random crap.

don’t get me wrong, I liked going to the places but you can’t beat a good novelty eraser.

i collect other things now as an adult.

my kids were the same. 7 is young - mine were like this up until about 15 and sometimes still are - my son went to Japan and brought me back some Ghibli merch and I was made up!

best solution is give her either pocket money or a gift shop budget for each time and she chooses. Also go to the gift shop first but be prepared to spend a long time there as she deliberates over what she would like most!

It wasn’t Legoland was it? We had 2 days there once and my 10 year old son asked as we walked in when we could go to the gift shop! He Was Lego obsessed as is his significantly older father 😂. In the end we did go to the gift shop first of all but only so he (and his Dad) could have a think about what they would like to buy the following day. It worked in the end thankfully and I wasn’t pestered the whole time we were there to go to the gift shop.

Feel the same as you.
The only thing with doing gift shops first is they will invariably see more things they want as they go around. DD likes buying, but I always say wait a day, see what’s around then decide. I would certainly not spend all day on a gift shop or eating.

Years ago when I was a child I was paired with a girl for a school trip and all we did was the bloody gift shop- buying rubbers and pencils for her younger sister.

My seven year old can be like this. We were in an aquarium abroad last week and she wanted to rush on to the gift shop. But I said we weren’t buying anything there (she has more than enough soft toys, which is what she wants) as the tickets to get in were v expensive. Maybe you need to say no more to purchases in gift shops and then she won’t even expect something? But I can also understand at that age the temptation - I still love a national trust gift shop and can’t resist some local honey etc!

Well Im in my mid 50s and still love the gift shop! As a PP said above maybe visit GS first? get treats and snacks then carry on with the day. My old friend (in her 80s!) used to do this .

But the shopping is exciting as who knows what lovely, exciting, beautiful gift she might buy herself. presumably she doesn’t get to shop weekly so it’s a big treat.

just trying to see it from her point of view!!

My kids were never like this at that age although they do definitely have their own failings . I would suggest taking a packed lunch then you are probably just going to be nagged for ice cream / sweets . However they did normally get something from the gift shop - there are far too many soft toys in the top of their wardrobes ( teen boys) . Ration the soft toys a bit or you too will end up wondering how to rehome them in 10 years time . The rushing round looking disinterested feels like teen behaviour - you may be best to have a head on conversation about it and also the cost of such trips and how much of your time you spend working to pay for said trip . If it doesn’t change just don’t go for a while

Sounds like your idea of a great trip and hers are very different.

I was like this. Still am. I like souvenirs and wandering round the shops or having nice food.

One of mine was like this, how ever she is autistic and fixated on food and meal times. Gift shops were always a bigger draw then the actual activity which we didn’t realise at the time but was very difficult for her

My DP did this and I absolutely hated it. How I yearned for a pencil or rubber from a gift shop but was never allowed (even with my pocket money) as “it was a rip-off”.

Now I love letting my DC browse and choose something small as a memento of a fun trip.

A close (single parent) friends child was like this and it drove us both mad as we frequently went to National Trust type places and the rushing and hurrying us along was relentless and every bloody time.

She solved it by making it a rule that she refused to buy him anything from gift shops but he was allowed to use his own money (from birthdays & Christmas). He was quite well off for a 7 year old due to being an only child in a sea of grandparents, aunties & uncles and childless honorary aunties like me, but he HATED spending his own money. The rushing for the gift shop stopped. You do have to be very ocnsistent in saying no to even the tiniest purchase though.

We also rarely went to the cafes as they are so expensive, just took a picnic. He learnt early on that moaning on about it got him nowhere and if was bad enough that I got annoyed, no ice cream either.

I'm the same with neices & nephews, quite clear that no soft bloody toys or made in china tat will be purchased whilst I'm around. They know I mean business and don't even ask.

My 5yo isn't too bothered about food but definitely fixates on the shop. He has Autism and suspected ADHD, I think it's the ADHD side of things for him. We always do the gift shop first and then he tends to enjoy the rest of the day.

We also go to gift shops first. Ds would do the same.
We did realise that he was doing it in panic.
what if the cafe served pizza but they ran out before he got there sort of thing. (Ds is autistic with a restricted diet) he was so overwhelmed with the fear they had “ran out” he would rush us through everything for his own reassurance that nothing had “ran out”

we do a lot of reassurance with him. Make sure he has a plan if the inevitable was to happen.

My DS used to be like this but because he is ND it was quite obsessive and overwhelming, he would spend the day getting stressed about what the gift shop would sell etc. So we totally stopped buying things from them altogether. Now both my DC have accepted this and enjoy the day out much more.

I used to just not even let mine look in the gift shops when she was little, or if going through was unavoidable I’d just be very clear we wouldn’t be buying.

now she has a small amount of pocket money each week and if we go somewhere like that she’s told she can spend her pocket money. Problem is, she loves sweets and invariable spends it all weekly. So she can rarely find anything for the £1 or £2 she has left. The other day she was desperately looking for something and found a badge (literally the sort that would be on the front of a card). When she found it was £1.50 ie most of the money she had, I’ve never seen her drop it so fast. She’s learning what’s worth it and what isn’t. Whereas if id agreed to buy it as a little treat it would have been her favourite thing in the world for the walk back to the car, then probably left in there for weeks and never touched again.

My sister was like this (she's completely different now that she has a kid). It would be so annoying as I enjoyed sightseeing and doing things. My sister was only interested in eating (and she was a picky eater) and buying stuff. I think it's normal for the most part, luckily my sister outgrew it!

The trick is to just say no sometimes, making a habit of treating them feeds the beast. We had issues with food being demanded on every outing, I kicked that into touch, eat before we leave

My DNs weren’t interested in anything - full stop. One refused to go out at all.

I have to say at 7, we provided pocket money for a small purchase. We collect items for our Christmas tree! Cafe? No issue about having an icecream or a drink. Usually we did picnic lunch.

I would have been cross about rushing round. Mine liked quiz sheets. We didn’t do theme parks. We did bite sized chunks for castles, gardens, zoo etc. Often a tea/drink half way round. You do have to say no to rushing round though.

If it was something that's mostly looking at things, like Harry Potter world, she's too young to really get the point, but it'll come if you pay attention to what her interests are. Mine love animals and always loved a zoo, but museums and castles were about cake/gift shop. They have to be able to slot the experience into their worldview at that age. They won't enjoy an exhibit on Romans if they hadn't heard of them before. They have eaten things and got cuddly toys, so that part is more relatable.

Basically, I wouldn't worry but I would be careful not to rush ahead to experiences they might appreciate later. I think about 20% of the families I saw at Harry Potter world had done it too soon and we're being rushed through for food. They probably think their kids are whiny and unappreciative, when its really that they are young and the parents are projecting what they think a child should like onto them.