Mamas when did you know your child was autistic?

[Purpletaco]

When did you guys know your little one was showing signs of being Autistic?
Im going to sound abit crazy my dd is 14 months she cannot walk, she doesn’t play with toys she will just hold them, she will sometimes press a button or open and close a door but not actually play, she use to eat everything feed herself the lot now she just throws it and doesn’t seem interested in food, she doesn’t clap, wave, blow kisses, high fives nothing like that, she was answering to her name and recently that has stopped, the only ‘command’ i would say she sometimes knows is come to mama, she will babble a lot the only clear words she says is dada mama (sometimes but rarely nana, baba), she loves tags on 3 soft toys which are connected together and she has to hold it constantly or rub it on her nose/face she even has to sleep with it or she will cry. She has recently found her hands she keeps putting them infront of her and she will just look at them. Those are just some of the things from the top of my head, I had her hv appointment at 11 months and the hv didn’t have any concerns but neither did I until she turned 1, she hasn’t got another hv appointment until Shes 2 but im thinking about booking another one..
Am I over reacting?
i feel like I might be but then i don’t know I have a ds who is on the way to being diagnosed with adhd/asd and he is 6 and I know you shouldn’t compare children but he played with toys from early on he did all the gestures he walked he understood early on he just couldn’t talk ect ..
Any advice is much appreciated

I've got a severely autistic nonverbal 7 year old. I knew something wasn't right from birth because he cried all day until he was 8 months old and he barely slept but didn't suspect autism really until about a year old although now looking back there was more signs before that but I didn't have much experience with babies and I didn't realise that he was less interactive and social than he should be, he didn't really imitate and he never had seperation anxiety, he didn't seem to have any attachment to me really. It's a lot different with my current 10 month old baby and I can see the difference a lot more now with how he was as a baby. But i did notice some weird behaviours and knew it wasn't normal but I didn't know what was wrong and people kept telling me I was being a paranoid first time mother. He was on time or early with all milestones up until about a year old but then basically never advanced any further with any social things he never learned to point or communicate and the repetitive behaviour became more obvious, at 14 months we were pretty sure then 18 months the paediatrician told us he was definitely autistic. it was very obvious by then.

Does your daughter point? If not how does she communicate, can she let you know what she wants in any way? Does she look happy to see you? Does she join in with games, action songs etc? Does she try to copy you?

This sounds like one of my ds, however he grew out of it 🤷‍♀️

First - ds at 3.
Second - ds at 4.
Third - ds at 3.

@Sarah447
no she doesn’t point and she doesn’t communicate to me, the reality is I just guess what I think she needs to/ wants.
i would say she is a happy child but no she doesn’t participate in any games i will play them and peekaboo she will occasionally laugh but she won’t try and play it
no she doesn’t copy me I try to point wave say say words and she either looks at me or just ignores me

@Where2GoNext
honestly I don’t know how to feel cause I thought I might be overreacting because of her age but then deep down I just have this gut feeling. I think I always knew it was gonna be a high chance because of my first born being in the process of being diagnosed but I think I have just noticed it earlier this time because I now know more about it compared to when my son was born. I think the bit im more upset well not upset but confused by is for example she use to know her name now Shes doesn’t look but she’s had her ears tested she has passed that and I know it isn’t her hearing anyway because for example if a song comes on with a beat she will look straight to the tv, if I open something she looks straight to me but calling her name even shouting her name it’s like talking to a brick wall. It’s a bit bittersweet because the things I did with my son such as him playing using he’s imagination with toys i use to enjoy that where as she isn’t interested she doesn’t play she doesn’t want too either

If you feel you need an appointment, make one. They would prefer to see you if you have concerns. At best they will reassure you. At worst they will point you in the right direction to get support.

I've always know my daughter has autism. It is a very individual thing and presents differently for different kids. My daughter never crawled. She walked early, taken early, could speak in complex sentences by 2. She memorised books and retold the stories fully. We think she has a photographic memory. She could read fluently by 4. She's very academic but stuggles socially.

I suspected my son was autistic aged 5. Went to the doctor's and was fobbed offe. He's nearly 20 and just had his autism assessment last week

I knew something wasnt quite right, but the autism penny dropped on holiday when he was coming up for 3 and didnt want to put his feet in the sand.

We are currently being fobbed off. School have notice an issue and have started IEP. GP referred but Camhs refused the referral due to lack of evidence. School aren't interested in at home behaviour only at school behaviour. They don't seem to want to push for support because she do academic. They are focusing of other kids with higher needs. They don't care about the social emotional factors unless it impacts her behaviour at school.

Very early on we suspected he was delayed because he didn't develop like his older siblings i.e. not making babbling sounds, no mama, dada etc, limited eye contact as a baby. However he was premature so we thought he may just take longer to develop. By 18 months we were flagging our concerns about his speech delay and behaviours to the HV, but we're told to wait until he was 2 years. I was convinced he had ASD by this point.

You could print and complete the ASQ for 14 months and request a review with your HV early based on your concerns.

https://www.wchc.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/14-month-questionnaire-ASQ-3-BE-Av.-1-1.15.pdf

@BlueRin5eBrigade my son got through all of school. Not once was he offered extra help or an echp. He's been on the waiting list for an assessment for 18 months. Don't give up on your little one, be a thorn in the side of the authority. Good luck 🍀 🤞 💐

I knew at 9 months. Raised concerns at 12month check, told to watch and wait. I collected evidence and presented it at the 2year check. Referral made straight away by HV and diagnosed at 2years and 3months old.

So quick! But that was 14 years ago

You are overreacting. My autistic dd was running about at 20
months, playing with toys is something that develops over the first 3 years, at 14months they are only a baby! Your dd even has a word, my dd was 3 before I heard mama.

my dd was diagnosed at 2, there were signs from birth though, just not what you are expressing. Try to enjoy your child

Just to add. They were all diagnosed at 6.
They all ended up moving to specialist schools.
Now 21, 18 & 10.

@Sarah447

same here, dd1 barely slept, cried continuously unless being fed and I was told it was normal, it wasn’t. The good news is my dd learn to talk and is an independent ish adult now but hasn’t been easy !

I have a globally delayed, severe language delayed, autistic son who is 4, his developmental age is 2. I first noticed him not grasping age related milestones at 6 months but it wasn’t until his two year HV review that we started to investigate medically. Up until 6 months ago he was non verbal but he has now got a series of phrases ( he is a gestalt learner)

what you are describing to me sounds like global delay. To get my son’s diagnosis I went to the GP who then referred to a neurologist ( need to be in more than 2 areas my son was in all) who then diagnosed him. The HV review put me in touch with the portage service which assessed him through play, helped with DLA forms and EHCP. Then SALT. He was put on a waiting list for autism assessment (which is 3 years in my area) we were seen two weeks ago. Interestingly the clinician who assessed said global delay and autism can be independent of each other or autism could cause the delay. She said over time this will become clear, if he maintains a gap in all areas it will be a moderate learning disorder and autism separate. If he improves in all areas bar social, self help and language it’s likely autism is causing the delay.

your concerns are valid, but I would monitor, ask nursery if they have any observations (our nursery identified my sons difficulties spot on) and then bring all concerns up in two year HV appointment and GP and go from there. If there is a need it will take a while to identify. I hope this helps I know how distressing this is x

@mamagogo1
i am enjoying my child very much thank you. I appreciate any advice but yours just sound quite inconsiderate, im not a first time mom, I know 14 months is still young but when she was doing things then stopping and when she is behind in milestones im going to be worried any mother would be. I understand your experience is different but I don’t think it’s fair to be inconsiderate to others sharing there experiences.

@lovemetomybones
thankyou im going to book an appointment with the hv and just monitor her snd keep everything documented.

And on another note, even though my son has all of these developmental issues he is absolutely wonderful! He has a very strong personality, he may not say mummy but he shows through his actions who I am, he has a wicked laugh and absolutely adores our dog, he’s a free spirit who loves the outdoors, he has a passion for the alphabet and likes to play kitchen nightmares a lot (he is a Gordon Ramsey of the toy kitchen world!) I cried at the autism assessment because I spend hours and hours writing firm after firm of his deficits- no one is interested in what he can do! So if you go down the SEND route remember and hold dear all the strengths your child has, because it’s so demoralising. Finally push and push and be difficult! The current government and council (I absolutely loath my council) are trying to take the support needed for children away. If you don’t complain, push and at times harass (honestly the fight I’ve gone through is insane) nothing will be given and in light of the governments leaked proposals for change to this service in October it’s a massive concern.

so if you are worried and professionals do not give you a response you feel is satisfactory then don’t accept it. It’s tough to be the most vulnerable in society currently.

You are not being silly. Speak to your HV or GP. One of mine was ringing bells from the beginning. Formally diagnosed as an adult. One when she was a teen. Most of her challenges we had thought were linked to another condition she had. Will go through Right to Choose about a diagnosis.

@lovemetomybones your little one sounds like an amazing happy child. & thank you for that advice I will be sure to follow it as we only want what’s best for our little ones even if that means fighting the world.

@AxolotlEars
thankyou for that snd I will be trying the hv first and see what they suggest

DS2 was born 10 weeks premature and so a lot of the markers that other poster mention, such as speech, I put down to prematurity.

Next, school started, followed six months later by COVID lockdowns. As a result, I put some social and organisational differences down to less socialisation and missing most of F2 and some of Y1.

When he was in Y2, I finally spoke to an Ed Psych and had him assessed for what I thought was ADHD. I’d noticed more and more quirks appearing that seemed to set him slightly apart from his peers. Nothing huge, but something. After a series of more appointments and observations he was diagnosed with ASD plus a few other issues. We think of it like a volume dial - his volume is just slightly turned up, but can get louder depending on factors like environment, diet or tiredness.

Ds1, i suspected something wasn't right aged 8 months but i thought adhd at first. Diagnosed aged 9
Ds2, from aged 1 year. Now aged 17 and we have an appointment tomorrow to get the results of his assessment.
Ds3, the TA pointed it out to me when he was 12. There were signs from when he was about 2 though when i look back. Currently on the waiting list aged 14
Ds5, i knew from birth, diagnosed aged 6

Two weeks ago, my dad showed me home video of me playing at age 4. I am autistic and when you look at the video you can tell from the flapping and stimming. I was talkative ect, and when I was diagnosed at 17 it was back when they still diagnosed with Asperger’s. When I saw those videos I realised DS probably has it. He exhibits all the same symptoms I did at his age, and when DH looked at the videos he said the similarities are uncanny. It was actually a bit weird because he looks just like me as well.

We are not going to pursue diagnosis just yet, we’re going to look into it a bit more first and then go from there, but I am pretty sure he has it. I feel quite bad for not noticing, but I think since I have it it’s probably harder for me to pick up on it. DD6 has very good social skills and is basically the opposite of autistic, but I just thought she takes after her dad and DS takes after me.