Autism and meltdowns

[TheNumberBlocks]

How do you deal with an autistic child who displays violent behaviour during meltdowns? She’s just smashed up the house and threw things at me because there is a fly in the house, yes a fly. She’s been awful all summer over flies the meltdowns are violent and she pushed a massive box on to me that contained a wooden bed frame all because of a fly, she tries to escape the house and trying to over power me to get out of the door, I’m at the end of my tether. How do you cope with this?

https://capafirstresponse.org/families/ have a look at this charity.

Has she got a "safe" space. It will depend on what she likes but effectively you're asking for Flight as a response instead of Fight. It might be a den, under her bed, a little teepee somewhere. Cover it in fly nets, maybe some fairy lights, a favourite toy/fidget/soft blanket. I appreciate she also has some learning difficulties but if you can calmly show her the space, tell her it's just for her, nobody will bother her there, when she is worried about anything it's her space and flies can't go in it. Maybe some ear defenders or ways to play music if it's sound triggering her too. We also had a "punching pillow" it had an angry face on it and we said it was fine to throw and punch anytime, so if Fight is the desired response there's an option.
I'd definitely look into fly sprays, peppermint oil diffusers, citrus smells and electric fly swatters to avoid her triggers too but ultimately you need her to make herself and others safe when she is overwhelmed by something, because it might be flies now but it'll be something else at some point. Talk her through it when she's calm, practice going to her safe space when she's OK and give her lots of positive reinforcement for using it and hopefully it'll feel like a better space to be in than hurting you or throwing things.

If you can still get hold of old fashioned camphor moth balls, one method that is said to keep flies from your bin is to put some in an old stocking, tie it to the handle and leave it dangling inside the bin.

We were prescribed propanolol for meltdowns. He took a small dose for a few years.

This is probably obvious to you, OP because of the circles you mix in, but can you get her a social worker if she hasn't already had one?
The good ones can refer you to organisations and charities and might have some past experiences.

Silicone teethers/'jewellery' from companies like Chewigem might help her release anger.

Exactly this. Finding a way to give some control can be the single most helpful thing in reducing and even preventing meltdowms. If you haven't already do look into PANDA approaches, can be a game changer.

Good luck with that! My 8 year old was referred for anxiety and depression and wanting to end his own life. He’s 11 now and still waiting!

I’m so sorry to hear that. Yes it’s a postcode lottery unfortunately which is not great at all.
However, potential long waiting lists aren’t a reason to not refer, as where OP lives could have shorter waiting times or different referral criteria etc.
If you have been waiting 3 years it would be worth escalating this via PALS for your local Trust or see if you can contact the Designated Clinical Officer (DCO) for your area. The DCO should be able to give information on what is available locally. In addition, go the school if your son attends, and escalate it there via the SENCo and the school nurse. Also consider escalating via the GP. It’s not right at all, but if you bang hard enough and long enough on the door, someone is likely to answer eventually.

we’re thankfully not in that place anymore having since received AuDHD diagnoses and receiving support. He was however referred back to CAMHS last year for ADHD medication and we’ve been on that list for 12 months and refusing to give timescales. I have raised a PALS complaint which is now also over target. I have never had the misfortune to deal with any organisation as utterly useless as them. I’ve seen reports that they receive £700 million a year in funding and I’ve yet to speak to a single person that has actually been helped by them. A friends son walked in front of a lorry to end his life which thankfully wasn’t successful and he was referred as an urgent case in a & e and they came and saw him in a & e and discharged him from the service. It’s utterly appalling.

Agree I think Cahms actually spend more time trying to find reasons to turn people down and try and fob them off to another service than they do treating people

Distraction is key with my son but he’s young so not sure if that would work. Can she make a safe fort ? Or do you have a pop up tent ?

I have worked with children who have autism for a number of years now, and there's a few things I want you to bear in mind:
•When people tell you that you need to do better/be stricter etc ignore them; they don't get it or understand
•Meltdowns are no joke; they are full on and scary
Now a few questions:
• Does compression work for her to help calm her down?
• Does movement/pacing work to help calm her down?
• As soon as she sees a fly could she get ear defenders on and go to a safe space/find you?
• Could you get insect screens for the windows to stop them getting in?
•How much comprehension does she have? Does she understand the concept of you trying to get rid of it or is she unable to fathom that one?

Not on medication always been told there is none for autism

Nope, there is medication that is indicated for aggression associated with autism. Maybe what you were told was there is no medication that cures autism, which would be 100% correct, but there is definitely meds that assist in controlling certain symptoms.

Trouble is who do you get the medication from? if it’s anything like my area they get signed off when they are diagnosed, in my son’s case that was 2016. Cahms won’t take them in unless they have significant mental health issues not just aggression. There is a service through Cahms for behavioural support but they have to have another clinical professional to refer which they don’t have as they are signed off on diagnosis

You don't need to catch them.

They're attracted to the light and get zapped.

Trouble is who do you get the medication from? if it’s anything like my area they get signed off when they are diagnosed, in my son’s case that was 2016. Cahms won’t take them in unless they have significant mental health issues not just aggression. There is a service through Cahms for behavioural support but they have to have another clinical professional to refer which they don’t have as they are signed off on diagnosis

??? I always used the private system for mine with ASD and a string of other letters and saw specialised developmental paeds whom I trusted and in whom I was very confident in expert prescribing of meds (I am very picky with prescribers in neuro differences). While not everyone can afford it, and if you can’t, you can’t, I’d say try and make it a priority to scrape for it if at all possible. Totally agree it’s not fair for people who genuinely can’t do this though.