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Parenting

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Original poster

Dentist told us to ditch the dummy

62 replies

redfox14 · 08/07/2025 19:42

Took my 2.5 year old to the dentist today and they’ve said her front two teeth are starting to protrude and most likely due to having a dummy at night. She does only have it for sleep and we don’t let her have it through the day. We have tried to get rid of it twice already and both times she just hasn’t settled at night without it, she usually goes straight to sleep but without the dummy she’s very upset and crying and asking for it.

We have already tried posting it to the dummy fairy (who had to return it!), giving it to the baby of a friend, and both times said she could have a present if she could go to bed without her dummy. Sadly these obviously haven’t worked!

Does anyone have any tips for helping to get rid of it? The dentist said the sooner we can get rid the better.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheLemonLemur · 08/07/2025 20:25

Don't make it a big thing sorry only for babies and you are a big girl. Yes she will be upset and have to find a new way to settle but think of the bigger picture I'd rather feel guilty for a few nights of tears than guilt at possible future painful dental work and braces

sellotapechicken · 08/07/2025 20:26

Why did you give in? The dummy fairy doesn’t do refunds..

LegoHouse274 · 08/07/2025 20:26

BeliesBelief · 08/07/2025 20:21

Sadly these obviously haven’t worked!

It only hasn’t worked because you gave in. It might take a week, or a fortnight, but you have to be firm. Unless a week of good sleep now is worth more to you than your daughter not needing an extra two years of braces in her teens?

Sorry OP, but this.

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2 year olds Babies & sleep Children's health Children's sleep

AngryBird6122 · 08/07/2025 20:26

Why did you give in in the first place? You've just made it harder for you all

Hodgemollar · 08/07/2025 20:27

You just need to take it away and keep it away. By giving it back two times you’ve only made the process more painful for yourself and her. She will now dig her heels in and try to hold out for getting it back again this time.

AngryBird6122 · 08/07/2025 20:28

Anyway I would just bin it, and explain that there is a little baby who needs it now and because she is such a big girl perhaps she can pick out a new teddy or something to go to sleep with instead

Hodgemollar · 08/07/2025 20:30

Ultimately this is just the main part of parenting. You have to do all sorts of things children don’t like in order to help them develop, grow and stay safe. Are you just going to get in every time something is a big difficult and avoid doing what’s best for her?As the saying goes sometimes you have to be cruel to her kind.
A few nights of unsettled evenings is much better for her than fucking up her teeth and her palette.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 08/07/2025 20:33

Why does your child have a dummy? Weird.

NoWomanNoBuy · 08/07/2025 20:36

As above, really.

You'll have to resolve to help her through the discomfort without giving in, because that's what's best for her in the long run.

Thefaceofboe · 08/07/2025 20:40

We got rid of our daughters at 3 (it would have been earlier but I was pregnant and once the baby was born I didn’t dare rock the boat!)

Same as you she only had it for bed but I did notice her teeth slightly protruding so we ditched it and had 3 bad bedtimes but the nights were fine. After the 3rd night she didn’t mention it again. I’m not sure it would have been as easy if we’d done it 6 months earlier.

Ive got to say her teeth are actually worse since ditching the dummy, but her dentist said it’s likely just the way her teeth are as a dummy wouldn’t cause permanent damage at that age and they will move back if it’s dummy related

Thefaceofboe · 08/07/2025 20:42

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 08/07/2025 20:33

Why does your child have a dummy? Weird.

There’s always ALWAYS one 😂

ReadingSoManyThreads · 08/07/2025 20:46

Who's the parent here?

Wise up and parent your child. Bin the dummies.

okydokethen · 08/07/2025 20:47

You’ll have a rough week but don’t give it back and it’ll be forgotten.
I did a present from the dummy fairy and spent a couple of night lying with DC as they fell asleep, they were the same age.

FloraBotticelli · 08/07/2025 20:54

It’s you who needs to ride out feeling upset about her feeling upset - unfortunately!

Incidentally this is how kids develop resiliency and their own inner discipline. By having parents who can hold their feelings, they learn how to hold their own feelings. You and your child will reap lots more benefits than just the dummy if you apply this principle throughout your parenting.

Catfox1 · 08/07/2025 21:00

Cold turkey. I promise it’ll be okay.

Ihopeyouhavent · 08/07/2025 21:00

We pierced it and then had the "dum dum fairy" come to collect from the tree in the garden. And then they left a pressie in place of it. Good times x

EmpressSisi · 08/07/2025 21:01

You just need to ditch it. Honestly the first couple of nights won’t be pretty, but it’s better than drawing it out trying to wean or negotiate. If you carry on the way you are, you are teaching them that crying and having a tantrum gets them what they want. You have to be firm. It won’t last forever.

Good luck.

Flamingos89 · 08/07/2025 21:05

Ours was 3 when he gave it up totally - we just bit the bullet with it, no other way. Binned every dummy we owned and tbh wejust went with ‘we have lost it, but your a big boy now can you survive without it’ - 2 days of unsettledness! Then totally fine!

Dont give in! When you do it, no backsys!

Happyholidays78 · 08/07/2025 21:10

Oh good luck OP, my boy LOVED his dummy & stopped having it in the day aged 2-3 ish but he had it at night until he was about 4 & a half, he was a terrible sleeper & would have been worse without it. I never understand the judgment & take it off them now quotes 🙄 especially when it seems to bring such comfort to SOME children. Anyway I'm no dentist but my son is nearly 18 with perfect teeth, he's never had a filling, brace or any treatment. Obviously the dentist has given advice based on your child's teeth & I wish you luck as it's hard to negotiate with a child that young (my son gave his dummy to father Christmas 🎅 🎄 😉

boredwithfoodprob · 08/07/2025 21:13

We took my DD’s away at the same age as the dentist told us the same. (She’s 13 now and still had to have braces!!) We took her to a big toy shop that, by chance had a bin outside. We came to an agreement that if she threw her dummy in the bin she could choose a toy from the shop as a reward for being brave. She was mildly upset for 24 hours but it went well as it was real whereas the dummy fairy is possibly a bit hard to understand.

MammaTo · 08/07/2025 21:13

We got rid of ours cold turkey at Easter for both day and night and I won’t lie it was an absolute shit show of a night for a very long time. I’d probably say it took about 2 months of no dummy at night for him to start settling without it. We really pulled the rug from under him and I felt horrendous, I’d of given up if it wasn’t for the fact we binned every dummy from the house.

myheadsjustmush · 08/07/2025 21:17

All three of mine ditched their dummy through bribery. They all had a much wanted toy in return for sending it to the dummy Fairy.

BUT it wasn't easy, and there were a few restless nights and tears because they wanted it back.

You need to stick to your guns. We did, and it all settled down relatively quickly. The worst thing you can do is give in and present them with another dummy!

I feel your pain though - it isn't easy.

Roosch · 08/07/2025 21:38

If it’s causing her teeth to protrude already at 2.5 that’s really serious - get rid immediately (lots of great suggestions on here).

She will be much more sorry if she has protruding buck teeth as an adult. And if it’s her upper palate that is becoming malformed even braces can’t correct that fully.

Goinggreymammy · 08/07/2025 21:59

Not a dentist. But surprised he/she said that. Do their teeth not move about anyway when they fall out?
I had a soother at age 3 or maybe older, I can remember my mother repairing it (no H&S back then). My father told me my teeth would grow outwards like a birds beak if I didn't stop. I was horrified. Really upset. As you see I still remember it clearly. So be careful what you say.
My Dd1 spent ages giving up her soother. Only had it for sleep. There was a box by her bed, lots of nights she'd say "ill put them in the box tonight" but then I'd go up later and she'd be asleep with one. She eventually gave up with no drama when she was ready. Probably around 2.5.
My DS gave up, started again during a horrible illness, gave up again, to be honest I think if they need it for comfort give it to them.
DD2 was obsessed. Needed 3 to sleep. One in each fist, to rub her nose with, and one in her mouth. I despaired. But I can't actually remember her giving it up in the end (third child syndrome!).
So the moral of my story is they give it up when they are ready, and plenty of children have braces that never used soothers. You haven't messed up forever by giving it back. It will happen.
Oh, and despite my father's scaremongering, my teeth are very straight, I used to get complimented on them a.lot.

Banannanana · 08/07/2025 22:32

You’ve made this worse by not following through previously. You didn’t “have” to return it, you chose to give in. Because you’ve given in after using the softer techniques, you’re now just going to have to take it and deal with the tantrums/crying for a bit. She’s not going to still be screaming for it at 12, is she? Step up and be a parent.

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