I can’t burp my baby

[Lab2425]

FTM just looking for some advice/reassurance.

Baby is 16 days old and I literally cannot burp her! She had a bit of a traumatic entrance to the world and ended up in icu for 2 days after being born. I didn’t think I would ever be able to breast feed losing all that bonding time with her but after a week in hospital on bottle of my expressed milk, we got home and she latched amazingly.

Cue issue that she was sleepy in the night we decided to try a bottle for this feed and I think I’ve ruined our progress with the breastfeeding and I also given her some gas issues. Aware I might be over thinking this but I just can’t shake the thought.

now she’s back on the breast full time I am still trying to burp her but literally nothing is coming up. A tiny one here and there but nothing thing sounds like relief to me. Could it be she just doesn’t need to burp and it’s in my head that she’s uncomfortable??

Ive tried what feels like every single position possible. The ones online that seem most effective she literally thrashes around in my hands so I can do anything. I feel like a terrible mum not being able to help her

Any advice greatly received from a very stressed, overthinking, anxious mum…

My two rarely had wind when breastfed, they did a bit when they had expressed milk in the bottle. I also never woke mine up to feed them, if they slept from 10pm until 5am then I was very happy (and it didn’t last long 🤣).

They were both gaining weight fine so didn’t feel the need.

If they have wind they’ll be uncomfortable and let you know about it.

I was the same as you OP, my daughter just didn’t burp much and I thought I was just rubbish at it! But my health visitor put my mind at ease and told me as long as I’ve tried for a few minutes and she doesn’t seem uncomfortable it’s fine. I was spending 20/30 mins trying at the end of each feed including during the night which was exhausting.
It didn’t help that my mils busy body friend must have said to me on half a dozen occasions when she was there when I was visiting mil ‘that baby is full of wind’. I wish I had just asked her straight out ‘what are you seeing that I’m just not and I’m her mother?’.
I prefer to think that we just had a good feeding position (bottle) because I always made sure she wasn’t too reclined and not taking in air. It also tends to be easier for them if you read their early hunger cues so they don’t start crying and take in more air.

I’ve read before that breastfeeding babies on the whole need less burping than bottle feeding babies. (before I get shot, yes I know not necessarily every single one)

I would assume if she isn’t giving you cues (if you lay her down and she’s happy there, no squirming etc), then she just doesn’t need it x

Never burped my EBF baby either - she didn't need it!

Neither of mine needed burping most of the time. Sometimes they’d wriggle about a bit then fart, but usually nothing. Could you try not doing anything and see what happens?

Mine doesn't need burping and trying just makes everyone frustrated. He very occasionally burps himself at 3 months during a vigorous tummy time session. He needs bicycle legs sometimes, especially if it's been very hot because he gets a little bit constipated if he's been sweaty or if he's grown a lot. I think the length of his innards must change and upset his system!

Mine was the exact same.
It was stressful at the time. I felt so guilty because she used to cry a lot and everyone said it must be wind and to keep burping her but it just did not work at all (she enjoyed it though 😅). In the end we just got past that stage 🤷‍♀️ She’s 6 now and no digestive problems or anything. Sometimes it felt like she had a different manual to other babies - people would give advice and it just didn’t seem to apply to her. I think some of that was because she was ebf looking back on it.

This made me laugh because I always joke about how people are so obsessed with wind and babies. Baby cries and the only possible reason can be wind. Unsettled baby? Wind. Poor sleeper? Wind. Always with the wind. My daughter (FF) just wasn’t a windy baby and wasn’t ever sick either.
She could be unsettled but that was usually for another reason (she was a Velcro baby who never wanted to be put down, ever!) There’s also a period early on where their digestive systems start working and they just do cry a lot. Also before they learn how to release poo, they just can get unsettled when they need to go. But always with the wind as the only explanation.
OP- some cultures don’t even wind babies at all. It’s not a thing. I wouldn’t obsess over it if it just doesn’t work for you and your baby.

Thanks everyone for your advice!! I think a lot of this has maybe been in my head and hormones all over the place I imagine won’t be helping. I’m still finding my feet with this whole breastfeeding thing and felt a little panicked and guilty which i guess is normal.

i would say she doesn’t really gives any massive cues now I really sit and think about it. She generally falls asleep after a feed but will squirm when I lay her down but I’m guessing this is just her being a baby and not necessarily gas related. Last few feeds I’ve made sure to sit her up on my shoulder for a good 10/20 minutes (burp or not) and seems to have helped. Her latch still doesn’t feel 10/10 but I think this is just due to her tiny mouth not getting wide enough, hopefully that will improve!

All babies need winding. It's possible you're not doing it firmly enough or for long enough. Obviously I'm not saying whack them across the back but a gentle yet firm rub in an upwards motion should eventually do it.

Have you read all the replies from women with EBF babies who have said they didn't need burping?

This.

Burping isn't a thing in half the world.
If you're on Instagram take a look at some ICBLC accounts like Olivia Hinge, Emma Pickett and Kathryn Stagg. They're great at facts and reassurance for breastfeeding.

What's your qualification for making that bold claim?

My second was FF & never burped once despite all my efforts. First was BF & burped like a trooper with little to no encouragement. I would have expected it to be the opposite, but IME children exist to be contrary.

They’re still the same now re: burping/burping absence at 13 & 18!

@Lab2425If she’s not showing signs of discomfort I really wouldn’t worry. Congratulations & enjoy your baby 🙂

No, they don’t.

It may be worth seeing a cranial osteopath, especially as it was a difficult birth. We saw one with my breastfed little one, and it did make a big difference... little adjustments to the latch, some exercises to help with core strength. It was really worth it 😊

I always kept my babies upright for a while after a feed and would rub their back, as it definitely helps settle the feed in their tummies whether FF of BF. It was rare that I knew if they'd got the wind out, but I think some babies do a bit of a slow release with any gas rather than a massive burps!!

Cranial osteopathy can be very dangerous for babies-please don’t do this.

My ebf baby never needed to be burped.

There’s a whole host of different methods to burp a baby, just keep cycling through the until you get a result. Mine was difficult to burp, became very gassy, and would be in extreme discomfort. Ended up (gently) massaging / squeezing his stomach to get the wind out.

My breast fed baby baaaarely burped. Keep her on your shoulder for a few minutes after a feed, some pats and it nothing comes out and they seem chill, leave them be. Mine was all the other end 🤣

Maternity Nurse here 👋🏼

Some babies are very burpy, some not at all. In my experience EBF babies burp the least, bottle fed babies often take in more gas while feeding.

If your baby is not showing any clear signs of discomfort after a feed, then I wouldn’t worry if they don’t burp at all. Always attempt to burp them, but I would have absolutely no concern if they aren’t burping and they show no sign of trapped wind.

I’ve never tried to burp my babies. By the time I knew it was something some people actively did I was on my second and it didn’t seem worth bothering with. I don’t remember them burping much but obviously they must have.

They all spent most of their time upright naturally so it must have just worked out for itself.

Don't worry, she's not going to blow up like Augustus Gloop for want of intervention *. Most likely she will vent impressively from the other end when the time is right.

*Assuming she's showing no signs of pain/discomfort.

Ebf babies generally don’t have a lot of wind if the latch is right.
my boy did Have wind but was able to get it up ok