At what age did you realise your DD was masking?

[Mummabear04]

I was just wondering if anyone has a DD with autism or ADHD when they realised she was masking? Did you notice the signs before or was it in hindsight? What were the signs? Thanks.

We first thought she had autism when she was year 3 but same as PP, she’s perfect in school so GP asked for ed psych review but school didn’t think she needed it so nothing happened. She’s now 10 and we are trying again.

I first realised when DD was in Year 2.

Sorry to resurrect and potentially derail this thread, but I was wondering how those of you whose children now have a diagnosis managed this when the school wasn't seeing so much evidence of it? DD masks at school, but based on her behaviour at home scores really highly on the ADHD screening tools, so is on the waiting list for assessment. However, her teacher simply says "I don't see it"; even though DD tells me she feels like she is holding in so much frustration, is told off repeatedly for humming (which she does to stop rocking, which she lost playtime for in Y2) and very occasionally has a meltdown at 3.15 (usually she holds it in until the walk home). I feel like she is caught in a bind because she masks so much and think that the criteria for diagnosis is that it has to happen not just at home. But without a diagnosis, school aren't willing to stop punishing her with lost playtime.

Around y4. She told me later that in y2 she was in trouble for 'not paying attention' (because she'd get overwhelmed learning and looking at the teacher's eyes) so she started staring at the teachers eyebrows and got star of the week.
The head watched her on the playground and dd was basically David Attenborough, studying the other kids!
I noticed it at home sometimes, I didnt suspect autism yet but they were days with extended family where it seemed to me like she was role playing her reactions.

Role playing their reactions is a really good description, I see that in some girls I teach who are masking, like a sense that they are watching themselves too as they are there, rather than being in the moment with their peers

14. And Ive worked in the autism field my entire life and didnt recognise it until then