Advice on potty training

[gruffalo123]

DS1 is 25 months and I’m wondering about whether to start potty training, and just looking for advice on how to do it. I’m thinking to do it in August so the weather is still good and DS will be 27 months. I’m on mat leave until next Feb and I’d really like to use this time to potty train DS1 before I return to work, but I’ve heard it’s better to potty train in the summer.

question is, I’m not sure if he is ready? And what I can do to prepare him over the next 2 months?

things that make me think he is ready:

• he doesn’t like having his nappy changed, and always runs away from me (especially poos). He’s in pull ups which help a bit
• he’s become more interested in the toilet when he sees me or his dad using the toilet
• he pulls at his nappy like it makes him uncomfortable
• he can now say poo and wee and knows that goes in the nappy and the toilet

things that make me unsure about his readiness - he can’t pull his trousers/nappy up or down (although I haven’t really tried hard to get him to do this, getting him dressed recently has been a nightmare so we just do it as quick as possible). Also his speech is coming on and he can usually communicate what he wants (with some guesswork from us!) but his speech isn’t as great as other kids his age.

what do people think? Does it sound worth giving it a go in August?

if yes, what can I do to prepare him? (Other than teaching him to pull his trousers up and down!). Are there any books or tv shows that might help get him used to it? Should I involve nursery in this?

also, we have a toilet downstairs and upstairs so could it be worth bypassing the potty and going straight for the toilet?

I found this helpful
https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Go for it in August! And involve nursery too x

What we did here - start on a weekend, potty in main living area, no clothes on lower half (except socks) and just went for it. Stayed inside the whole time, introduced underpants and outside in the garden after 3 days. Stayed at home for a week or more (I understand this isn't feasible for everyone) till we got a sense of their routine and knew there'd be no accidents. Never put nappies or pull ups on (except for sleep). I think the key is to be consistent, not give up and stay at home as long as possible..
Regressions I've seen happen with other children when nursery aren't consistent. Some just won't bother putting the effort in.
I didn't worry about them pulling own pants up or down, they taught themselves as it went on but I thought it was enough for them to learn when to go to the potty..
I didn't bother with books or anything like that, I didn't do any prep really except for, we'll stop wearing nappies soon..

I don't think the toilet is as easy unless you have those ladder steps and an insert

Thanks, the link to to the Eric website is interesting. Takes quite a different approach to the oh crap method I’ve been reading about. I think I’ll buy a potty to get him used to it and start talking to him about using the potty and getting rid of nappies, then see how he is by august

I toilet trained my SEN DS at 3, he couldn’t manage his trousers by himself, but given that he always had someone with him (given his age as well as SEN) that wasn’t a problem and it actually help him figure it out!
for both DD and DS we’ve just put a potty in the main living area and had them naked from the waist down, and watch them to figure out their tells, and put them on the potty as soon as they start to go, until they figure it out themselves. After a couple of days, introduce trousers, but not pants (these feel too much like a nappy) and go with just trousers till you’re confident they have it figured out, then introduce pants.

We have a special toilet seat that has a child’s smaller seat that magnets to the lid, so for adults it just goes up, but then you just flick it down so the kids feel more safe and secure sitting on it.

We had a big potty but kept it next to the toilet because I didn’t want them thinking that it was normal to poo in the middle of the living room in front of the telly and to get them used to switching the room they were in when they needed to go. Get into the habit of going to the toilet to change pull ups.

Get joggers with elastic waists so that they are as easy to manage as possible, but don’t take being able to manage clothes as an indicator of bowel/bladder control. They are separate things.

Talk positively about the toilet every time you go, announce what you’re doing, read books about it - there are loads of them.

Don’t be tricked into thinking you have to see all sorts of signs of readiness. You have to teach them what they need to do. All they need is some physical awareness, but that is hard to notice with pull ups that absorb everything.

So I have just ordered a potty from Amazon, feels like a decent first step! I like the idea of just keeping the potty in the toilet. I’d like to just do nappy changes in the toilet but I think that’s going to be hard. He gets really upset and runs away whenever I try to change his nappy. I’m having to chase him round the living room and then eventually distract him with YouTube in order to change his nappy - it’s not great parenting! Really hoping toilet training will help this rather than make it worse.

thinking about it, I’m tempted to try sooner rather than later. I have a feeling he’ll be happier and easier to manage if he has more independence around toileting rather than being in nappies. I think I’m just a bit nervous!

Another thing - what do you do about nursery? DS goes 3 days a week, should I keep him home while potty training?

There’s nothing stopping you from trying earlier!

You could keep the pull ups in the bathroom so you have to go there to change, and maybe get some especially exciting fiddle/sensory toys to live in there that can only be played with when getting changed or using the toilet.

It’s worth talking to nursery to see how supportive they will be, but they should follow what you’ve been doing if you’ve started at home. We went out from day one of potty training, but made a big deal of having a try before going out, then finding the toilets to have a try wherever we were going, and always took a fold up seat that could go over the big toilet seat. I had boys so didn’t introduce the idea of standing to wee until they had mastered it sitting.

As there are signs he's ready, I'm wondering why you want to wait until August. The weather's already warm so you could start now. Teaching routine is important - on the loo/potty when he first gets up, before meals, before bed. Lots of praise when he uses the potty/loo. Encourage him if he needs encouragement to sit on the loo by sitting a teddy on the potty.

The only thing about potty in the living room initially is it's quicker to get to or grab to stick under them to maximise success, depending on how far away toilet is.

I would definitely keep him home from nursery.

Are there many in his class trained? This seems to make a difference if the room is more nappy or potty focused..