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Original poster

Toddler wakes at 4.30am

39 replies

Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 05:38

My 19 month old wakes most days at 4.30am, and has done for months. Some days it’s 5.00am, which frankly I count as a lie in at this point.

We have tried:

Putting him to bed later (he wakes up at the usual time anyway)

Putting him to bed earlier (not usually possible as he tends to go down between 7.00-7.30pm anyway)

Giving him a bigger dinner

Giving him pudding

We have blackout curtains and extra blackout window liners so the room is very dark. He is appropriately dressed for the temperature of the room. I have a bed guard on my and DH’s bed so I can bring him into bed with me and nurse him on those early mornings - he will very occasionally fall back asleep.

He naps for around two hours during the day, but even having a much shorter nap seems to have no impact on his night’s sleep. He is a lovely and very active boy who is on the go all day.

I’ve accepted at this point he’s just an early bird, but today he woke at 4.10am which is just so early. There was a long period in the depths of winter when he woke at 4.15am, absolutely brutal.

Did anyone experience anything similar? Did you manage to overcome it?

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Lilactimes · 30/05/2025 10:28

JellyAnd · 30/05/2025 09:17

I don’t know how long you’ve tried anything for before but you need at least 2 weeks for them to adjust to the change before declaring it does/doesn’t work. So cap the nap, do a later bedtime and stick with it. Also YY to a gro clock and making it achievable ie set it for 15 minutes after his typical wake time then gradually inch it forwards but he might need to be more like 2 to understand it properly so perhaps something to consider if you’re still struggling in a few months.

Also this is left field and I realise it’s not exactly something you can do tomorrow but just throwing it out there because my DS was v similar at that age and was completely cured by a long haul holiday. Something about having the routine completely messed up and the time zone shift was like a hard reset and enabled him to get (and stay) on a more normal schedule when we got home of bed at 7.30 and wake up at 6.

I think that’s interesting re long haul!
My DD was always very late going to bed - whatever I did I couldn’t get her in bed before 8.30pm when she was preschool. And then she’d wake in the night but never get up easily once it was morning. it made nursery and getting to work tricky for me. Asia holidays really helped and when we got back to UK we would be up at 5am No with loads of time to play and get to nursery!! (although I appreciate this is tough if it goes on for ages!)
Maybe a US trip would work better for you!!
although in my experience it didn’t last and the early starts when you get there especially if you go to LA would be brutal!!

Will your DC come into bed for a cuddle if it’s before 5am?

Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 12:48

Elle771 · 30/05/2025 06:16

Solidarity here we have always had a mega early riser! It makes the day/morning soooooo long!!

Since dropping his nap he usually manages 7pm til 5am but I can't remember the last time he slept beyond 530am so have just had to accept this is who he is 🙈🙈😱😱

He's not miserable or anything so not much to do about it apart from MAINLINE THE COFFEE

Thanks for the solidarity @Elle771! I don't drink coffee but think I may need to start! 😂

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 14:31

Sailawaygirl · 30/05/2025 06:22

My toddler sometimes wakes early 4.30 ish and sometimes will have a really long lie in till 8! Obviously never lies in on day when I could i Iie in too. When he wakes up before 6 I just leave him babbling to himself for an hour, sometimes he goes back to sleep. If he wakes up crying I try and settle him back to sleep. But that never works! And I can't bring him into our bed cause he just gets super excited!
Can you leave him happly babbling?

Part of the challenge is that we have a one bedroom flat, so my little one shares a room with me and DH. He gets agitated quickly if we don't come and pick him up - probably more so because he can see us just a few feet away.

He will very occasionally settle in our bed, but it's rather rare unfortunately!

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:01

TinselTarTars · 30/05/2025 06:34

House of early wakers here, I'm sure it's hereditary my mum gets up at 5 and she's retired!
If I see it's 6am, that's late for us, some of my friends are waking theirs up at 7.30! It does get better but it is brutal. Have you thought of a tonie box, I go into their rooms don't say a word and literally put a figure back on the top of it. I go back to bed if needed and it stops that morning being so long.

I haven't heard of a tonie box but they look very fun. Thanks for the tip!

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:22

DongDingBell · 30/05/2025 06:38

Have you tried a snack before bed? Wetabix or porridge sort of thing?

And how long did you try shorter naps or later bedtimes for? You need to give it a go from at least a week to see if it has any affect. We discovered tea had to be later to get a later bedtime to work - so if it's usually food at 5, bed at 7 you need food at 6, bed at 8.

Honestly, we have dinner around 5.30pm and then he's in bed by 7.00-7.30pm, and he has a substantial dinner so I don't think there's much room for another snack! We have wondered if he's waking up hungry, so have given him a pudding and/or a bigger meal, and he's still woken up early.

We will try a later meal and see if that works!

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:24

Sanabria2 · 30/05/2025 06:40

Grow clock worked for us.
I was advised to first give him an easy win so he gets familiar to the concept and rewarded with praise for staying in bed until the sun comes up. So if he's waking at 4.30, set the clock at 4.45 or 5. When he wakes just point at the clock and explain you both need to stay in bed until the sun appears. You might need to take him back to bed several times. Then when the sun comes up, he gets praised for waiting and you can start the day. Then once he understands and stays in bed waiting for the sun, you can start moving the waking time later.
He has had the odd regressions but on the whole the grow clock has been enormously helpful. Def worth a try.

I'll have a look at the grow clocks, thank you. He nurses when he wakes, which he loves, so maybe he sees waking up early as treat time!

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:31

Olika · 30/05/2025 06:41

It’s hard and exhausting, but nothing helped us until DD just grew out of it.

I fear it will be the same for us.

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:33

RocketLollyPolly · 30/05/2025 06:42

My DC went through a phase of this and it was grim. It did gradually get better but it’s hard.

Don’t bother with a Gro Clock at that age they don’t understand it.

If recommend speaking to a sleep consultant. Ask around for recommendations.

I'll look into sleep consultants. Thank you.

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:45

urghhh47 · 30/05/2025 06:45

Yep! This was my second child (now nearly 23). He does have ADHD (as do I and I get up at 4am). He did go through the teenage staying in bed til later but even that was more like 10/11am rather than the 1/2 pm that many teenagers achieve 🤣. He's still a relatively short sleeper now like me. 6-7 hours and he's done. Tbh I found that I had to just wait it out until he was older enough to sort himself for a bit. Nothing made him sleep and he gave up a nap at 12 months old.

My little one goes down for his nap and at bedtime no problem thank goodness. He usually sleeps 9-10 hours at night, and another 2 at naptime so he's getting just about what he needs at his age.

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:46

Spudnik21 · 30/05/2025 06:57

My eldest was like this, we tried the groclock he just "played " in his room till the sun came on but the playing wakes you up anyway. In the end when he started school he naturally changed his wake time and woke at 6am. He was in full time nursery before this. Now he is 10 and it's an effort to get him up for school on time

We share a room as we have a one bedroom flat, which I think is part of the problem! He knows we are there😂

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Original poster
Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:49

Vimaybe · 30/05/2025 07:01

Mine was the same, nothing really worked I'm afraid it was just a very long phrase and then he grew out of it. Mine just has a low sleep needs. I did/do find that when they're over tired he actually work up earlier and his behaviour was more difficult, so now I'm strict on bedtime. We do use a gro clock (and did from around the 2 year mark - he's going towards 4 now). I wouldn't expect them to understand it at 19 months but you could use it as best practice. They need a really strong understanding of not just colours but following simple instructions as well. As a parent you need to be realistic, there's no point setting until 7:30 and just expecting them to comply. My 'goal' time at 2 was 6am so I increased it by around 5-10mins every few weeks. I also made sure he had some quiet simple toys that I'd made look enticing on their bedroom floor e.g half built jigsaw, blocks, water pen books alongside a yoto so he had stories to listen to. Again be realistic with the age, mine can play alone for around 20-25 mins at his age now back then it was more 10-15 mins if he had got into something. You get through it and wonder how you survived but you do get there!

Yes, I think colours would definitely be a barrier to using the GroClock, but introducing it as an idea at some point soon could be useful.

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RocketLollyPolly · 30/05/2025 18:51

Ariadne08 · 30/05/2025 15:33

I'll look into sleep consultants. Thank you.

Show quote history

Given what you’ve said about your room set up, I’d try to find a sleep consultant with experience of both early wakings and of sharing a room with parents. As the usual approach of ‘say goodbye and leave them for a while’ won’t work if you have nowhere to go.

I thought sleep consulting was a load of old cobblers until I had a non sleeping baby. It
Improved massively afterwards. justchillmama on Instagram is great (I didn’t use her bur she has some good
online courses). In your shoes I’d find someone local, experienced and recommended who van
visit you at home

ThatFink · 30/05/2025 18:54

My 15 months old does this too. I haven't had a proper night's sleep in weeks months. It's a nightmare. No advice but sympathy.

bravenewworld12 · 01/06/2025 08:54

I have a 16 month old. He used to wake in the night and was up at 4.30am but I consulted a sleep consultant and they told me to reduce his daytime sleep and push bedtime back by 30 mins. It worked a treat and he now sleeps 7.30-6/7am every day.

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