Which is the hardest and least enjoyable age to parent ?

[Bibadoabo]

Which is the hardest and least enjoyable age to parent ?

For me it's been pretty much linear with newborn hardest to teenage (currently 17) easiest.

First one was the first year. They had undiagnosed Tongue Tie and the lack of sleep almost broke me.

Second was Y11. Luckily things have worked out for them now but during that year, well me and DH almost split it was that bad.

Every child is different but for me the easiest and loveliest was birth-11. Hardest 13 plus.

Any age.
Knowing you are responsible for a whole person for 18 - 20 years is bad enough.

ND Adult who is unlikely to ever leave!

Newborn.

13-15 (give or take)

Newborn was physically exhausting for a few weeks but emotionally easy, the young teenager years were bloody hard.

Ages 1-3 mobile, and senseless…my teen is 14, I’m guessing that could get hard at some point!

Older teens. They need supporting through difficult situations when you have no real control over anything, and yet it still is your responsibility. Very emotionally draining.

Definitely this!!

Probably 16-23 is the worst. They have the emotions if a toddler (and often the common sense of a toddler!!), but there is so little you can do about anything as a parent.

Distraction and putting them to bed early just doesn't work 😁

Think it varies for each child. Dd1 was 16-18 as she hit a wild spell after being pretty much the dream teen. Dd2 is 14 and it’s really hard. Most of the time I can deal with it. Sometimes I just hide and cry in the bathroom as she’s just mean and it’s really hard. I try and remind myself it’s harder for her and she will come back soon!!

Potty training, a million times over. You couldn't pay me to go through that again. DD was 4.5 when reliable, it was hell

I definitely found the first three or four months to be the worst. I’d never had any experience of babies before I had mine, and found it so difficult. I was so thankful that my daughter had been born safely, and was healthy and well, but I really am not a baby person and I just couldn’t wait for the first few months to be over. I found the time between 1-5 really magical; I was a stay at home mum and I enjoyed every day we had together. The primary school years were wonderful too. We had the usual challenges when my daughter was a teenager but she was very similar to me in many ways and I always tried to remember how I behaved during those years and that I was sensible and mature enough not to get myself into serious trouble. It was hard to keep her on track with her education and to try to persuade her not to waste her abilities.

Finding 14 getting trickier as the days go by!

I have found 16 onwards the hardest. Especially as covid hit alongside.

Adulthood!

I'm least confident now, parenting adults. When I was in control and they lived with me, I knew my role.

Now I have the same love for them, and the same concerns and worry, but don't know when to get involved, and what's supportive advice, and what's poking my nose in.

To be honest, Mumsnet has made me even less confident in this role. It feels like we parents of adults can't do right for doing wrong, sometimes.

ETA that at least I'm not alone! 'Waves to @Karatema '

Physically hardest - under 3 (lack of sleep, early wake ups etc )

Emotionally hardest - 12-15 (even my easy teen was grumpy and uncommunicative so I had to be on the lookout for signs of drugs etc )

18 months to 4 was just awful. Small age gap and a difficult toddler (now diagnosed with ASD) just about finished me. I now have 2 teens (DDs) and they are so lovely and so much fun in comparison to toddlers.

Baby stage to toddlers for me. I’ve found I’ve enjoyed it more as they’ve got older, mine are teens now and genuinely good company. I love watching their personalities develop, I like being able to level with them. Still has its challenges of course, the more independence they have, the more freedom you have, but also more stress.

Mine aren’t dicks though, I can’t relate to the difficult teenage years many on here talk about.

I have a 15yo DS and I'm finding dealing with him now the trickiest it's ever been. He towers over me so I have no physical control - not that he's aggressive or anything, I just cannot make him be or go somewhere he doesn't want to, even if he needs to. However emotionally he is up and down and needs quite a lot support to regulate. On top of that he is thoughtless and lazy if allowed to get away with it and I'm finding it so emotionally draining trying to control Internet use, junk food consumption, focusing on GCSEs and making sure he gets places on time (including things he really wants to do - what's that about?)

On the other hand his older sister has never been a moments trouble, though she needed quite a lot of support with school work as found academics hard.

I really enjoyed them as babies (though that may be rose tinted!)

0-4 for me

18 months... walking but zero concept of danger.

And teenagers

I'd say around 18m to 2yo was the hardest. The teens have been easy for me (eldest is 19).

Newborn hardest for me so far (now hava a teen and a preteen).

What made it even harder was everyone telling me that older children (the age of their children) were so much harder work than a newborn, which put the fear of god into me that it was going to get harder than the hardest thing I’d ever done. But luckily I didnt find that to be the case.