Do your kids "play out"?

[catsandkid]

I saw an article in the Telegraph about an interim report by Raising the Nation Play Commission, which speaks of the restrictions upon UK children leading to less opportunities for kids to play. The interim report can be seen at: https://www.centreforyounglives.org.uk/news-centre/inquiry-report-calls-on-the-government-to-restore-school-playtime-amid-warning-that-play-is-being-squeezed-out-of-childrens-lives

It got me thinking.... obviously times have changed and society looks different from how it was in the late 90s/early 00s when I was growing up, but by around age 6/7 I was "playing out" in my street with the local neighbour kids most evenings and weekends. Everyone would knock for each other and hang out playing together. We'd all go in for tea as and when needed (Mum's would call us in from the doorstep!) and pop back out again until it got dark. We'd head to the local park, and ride around the village on our bikes, go walking in the woods and make dens, be in and out of each others' gardens playing etc.

Now I'm a parent myself and my 8yo DS doesn't play out at all! We live in a quiet cul-de-sac too, so the traffic issues are less relevant for us. There are a couple of children in the cul-de-sac of similar ages but none of them play out at all yet. I'd happily let DS go and play on the green out front (can see from the window with ease) but obviously he isn't keen as no one else is out there!

So, my questions....
At what age did your kids play out? Do your kids go to the local park and hang with friends? How did you get them used to having freedom to play out?

How can we get kids playing again? Or do you think this is just something that has permanently changed, as a result of changes in society (e.g., more working parents means more kids in afterschool club, more cars resulting in safety concerns, more scheduled clubs to attend...)?

Sort of we've moved to a quiet village where it's pretty normal for the kids to go to the park unsupervised, walk or bike to school from a young age, walk to meet a the local cafe etc - day time only, I don't want DC to be out after dark.
It feels like my two have suddenly got a lot more independence that there town friends and they are pretty confident out and about. Teen DD now goes into town with friends alone/gets bus alone when some of her friends aren't allowed.

We've lived on new builds estates with designated play areas since ours have been in school, so ours were playing out quite young. The first house we bought we faced out onto a park, and there was only driveway access from us to the park, my eldest was playing there from the day we moved, he would have been 7, I can't remember when we let our youngest out but probably around 5 I suspect with his brother. They weren't allowed to play on the street though, just in the park.

By the time we moved to our current house which is out of sight from the park but only a couple of minutes walk, ours were 10 and 7, I think we let them out straight away although we may have waited until the summer by which time youngest would have been 8.

They spend a lot of time out in the summer, they've made great friends with the neighbours, we started letting our eldest go further out when he started high school. Much to our youngest's distaste!

Completely agree about the community thing and values, the parents of the children mine play out with are very similar to us, and we know them all. Which certainly helps.

Yes this is my thinking too.

A lot of the kids here don't seem to play out/walk to friends homes during the primary school years, but then suddenly turn 11 and go to secondary school (about 2miles away) and are expected to walk to school and be independent! I'm thinking from next academic year (DS will be yr5 then) of trying to gentle nudge him to play out and gain some independence so he gradually gets used to it ahead of secondary school.

I also see the report mentions schools as a place to play. My two had a reduced amount of break time, and not much play after the school day had finished before the janitor kicked them out. I do think there are more creative ways of allowing play to happen, not just in the road or total freedom.

There is a national school grounds charity, and when mine were not getting much play at school I downloaded one of their guides and shared it with the head teacher. The school really took a few things on board and I think had them in to run some training the year we left:

https://ltl.org.uk/
and
www.ltl.org.uk/resources/the-good-school-playground-guide/

What age would you let your DS play out? Or if you don't want DS playing out on the street at all, what other things would you let DS do in order to learn the independence they need ahead of secondary school years?

I grew up playing outside during the nineties but I grew up in a village in the countryside. We ran riot. I do feel a bit sad my kids won’t have the same freedom, and even though we live in a safe area I can’t say that they’ll be able to roam wherever they want like I did.

Ds in 19 andl did but the road he grew up in he had a friend the same age next door and one about 6 doors up. Few other kids in the road to play with from time to time. They stayed more mostly in the road on scooters and in and out of each other's houses. Very safe and he had a great time. When older, they were allowed to go to the park (over the road) in a group, on their bikes. I and he feel really lucky he had that because I think it's a fun and valuable activity.

Yes, probably since age 4 for youngest. But we live rurally on a farm (not the sort with workers driving tractors dangerously around or manure pits or other dangerous things). But definitely since start of reception they’ve had their friends who live nearby who come across the field to play and ours go over to theirs. We live down a long drive so no roads nearby. It’s lovely. They are often out til 8/9pm in the summer holidays and someone’s parents will do a bbq and feed them all hot dogs. They’ll go swimming in the river (‘swimming’ it’s about 18 inches deep so they just splash around on really hot days). Obviously, they are older now - eldest ones in secondary school. I’m not just leaving my 4 year old to drown in a river in the dark. 🤣

Mine don't as there are no kids to play with on our street. It makes me sad as I have wonderful memories af playing hide and seek round our cul-de-sac and gardens with up to 10 neighbourhood kids.

@boulevardofbrokendreamss I am not assuming everyone has a green. I am replying to the OP who says she wants her child to play on the green in front of her house.

also did you mean to be so rude?

My child does play out in the street yes.
She started playing out in the street by herself when she was 5 or so. For some months there were some girls who lived across the road. She'd play out with them but she was younger then so I'd be watching a lot.
We've now lived in this house for 4 years. She's 11 now and she's played in the street here yes. By herself and with next door since they moved in.

She's not gone to the park by herself or with friends yet though. But all her friends' parents haven't even let them go out by themselves at all yet it seems like!

People always say there was a golden age of “playing out” and all kids did in the past, but I grew up in the 80s and was never allowed to. It was at the time often a class or urban/rural divide, too — middle class or suburban kids didn’t as much, whereas working class kids in the inner city or countryside did much more. I knew some kids who were allowed to roam outside, and some who weren’t allowed much or at all, depending on their families.

In one area I lived as a kid almost every child played out, and also went to school alone; and in another area we moved to, no kids really did, and parents always walked DC to school! So it was always very area- and community dependant. In addition, my mum was a child protection social worker, so she would never let us out because she had dealt with a fair few awful cases in her job. (One of the few times I “played out” with other kids we found a hardcore porn mag ripped up and scattered in the bushes in the kids’ playground, and that was fairly routine in those days!)

We have a little park in our neighbourhood, and I did let DD play out a few times with some other local kids when she was in years 5-6. We stopped it after a while because some of the things they got up to were not good - she told me about some of the kids finding food in bushes and eating it; talking about porn; using phones inappropriately; ringing people’s doorbells; doing stupid dares; and older teenage boys trying to get the younger kids to go with them to their houses. When a bloke in a van started hanging around the park trying to talk to them I had had enough, spoke to the police, and DD was no longer allowed to play out. She is very sensible, but even if your kid is sensible, you just don’t know who else is turning up, what they have on their phones, what other kids who aren’t as sensible are doing, what they find around the place, or who is approaching them.

There’s a tendency to think of playing out fondly like it’s all sandwiches and a hard boiled egg wrapped in greaseproof paper, riding bikes and playing marbles down at the creek, as if in so many Enid Blyton books. In reality, these days it’s more likely to be hanging about bored in a playground, looking at inappropriate stuff on other kids’ phones.

Mine play out and so do lots of other children on our road, good mix of girls and boys, from about 4-5 years old and less supervision from about 6-7 years old. It's a cul de sac and I'm very glad they have that freedom in the same way I did

I didn't use to play out and I turned out just fine so I am hoping my children will be the same.

We did all the time. I lived in a deprived area but it was much safer and a feel of community back then. I've had to have a conversation with my 9 year old (who sadly doesn't play out) about safety and being aware of people carrying knives. It's a crazy world now and extremely scary.

My dc (10 and 8) don't. We live on a quiet road but there's no where to play where I could keep an eye on them. Nearest spot would be the woods about 5 mins walk away, but it's very quiet and I don't feel that comfortable with it.

I didn't play out unsupervised when younger - tended to have friends round or go to friends houses - and loved my childhood.

Ours played out for years- cul de sac and terraced houses with a school playground accessible at weekends. We loved it. Progressed from enclosed alleyways to the big playground and open alleyways. Sadly the playground and public alleyways have been discovered by young secondary kids who don't live in our neighbourhood but who attended the primary.
Their parents aren't on our WhatsApp groups etc. (not entirely sure who they are- were at same primary but older years) and they've brought a level of threat and disruption such that our local kids are now sticking to gardens and gaming at home. One tried to strangle my son as he felt "disrespected". His mum did drag him around to mine, but more so I would agree not to pursue it further. He also graffitied the playground. My son is obviously not keen to encounter him again.
We are wondering about setting up a parent schedule to sit in playground for the summer. As from what teachers have said etc. the kids aren't nasty kids, just have had quite chaotic backgrounds and have to be left to their own devices because of work shifts etc..
The older teens use it late at night for basketball and drinking and that seems to still be safe for them. Hoping that will be the case when mine are older but assuming it won't sadly.